Rape is an act of power & control. It's why rape victims give terrible witness testimony. Often they are unreliable witnesses. Their memories are fractured & if their rapist was a man who groomed them, who they know, they most certainly tried to protect that person at some point. Usually victims of rape act through rage. Any time someone challenges you about that person in your life at first you will seem strange & defensive but then eventually insane & full of rage. As the memories grow into something tangible you realize how no one will believe you.

Someone abused my step-brother when we were little, we are 2 months apart in age. We met when we were 9 but by the time he was 12 something changed dramatically in his behavior. I believe someone raped him & that is why he abused me. I do not know who. For some reason this detransitioned man's story of abuse felt more genuine to me than almost any other interview I've ever heard from an abused child. As a victim of CSA who doesn't like to go "into the well" is what I call it of the "details" I related to everything he said.