I'm gonna regale you with the greatest story I've ever heard:

"My brother was in prison for 9 years and told me he would microwave baby oil and put it on the floor of his cell except for the place he was standing. He'd then call out someone in the common area and when they came running in they'd slip and slide and he, standing in the only dry spot, would just pummel them while they tried to gain traction."

"Probably 6 months after he got out I went out on a drive and took him with me and just let him talk about prison. He loved it but he's also prob