Thread about #vicarioustrauma and lawyering

Do you remember reading the Ford Pinto case in law school?

I do. The car’s gas tank ruptured, releasing gasoline vapors. A spark ignited the mixture, and the Pinto exploded in a ball of fire.

The driver died. The passenger was severely injured.

As a baby lawyer, I was told by the male partner I worked for that I am not “trial lawyer material.” “Too timid,” “too soft spoken,” “not aggressive enough,” were just some of the written feedback I received.

This wrecked me. I never shared this with anyone but it feels so important to say this.

There’s NO singular way to be a trial lawyer.

There’s NO singular way to be a lawyer. PERIOD.

Intergenerational Trauma (thread)

I've been feeling a lingering ache in the limbs, a feeling of unease, a heaviness in my body that I can't shake ever since the invasion of Ukraine started.

(Photo of me with my parents in Korea.) Growing up, my mom used to tell the story of the Korean war. I always heard the story as just that — a tale, like the other children's stories she told.

Don’t yuck my yum (thread)

When I was 10, my family immigrated here from Korea.

The first day of school, my mom woke up early and made lunch, which included all of my favorites — 맙 rice, 김치 kimchi, 장조림 beef stew, 결한찜 steamed egg. I didn’t realize it at the time but now but now as a mom myself, I can see the food meant more than her desire to nourish my body. It was her unspoken way of saying — I love you with all of my being, I am afraid because I don’t know what your day will be like, and my heart aches.

My guess is that the actual numbers are much higher. Lawyers are unlikely to admit to suicidal thoughts or depression in a self-report survey.

Some thoughts on dying by suicide...

https://twitter.com/dislaw/status/1039221384575176704

Three years ago, a friend of mine died by suicide. It was unexpected and devastating. He had been struggling with depression for a long time. But he was doing all the “right” things. On medication, seeing a therapist regularly, in touch with his doctors, surrounded by support.

My family immigrated to the US in 1988 (the same year that Korea last hosted the Olympics). I was 10 years old. I didn’t speak a word of English. Neither did anyone else in my family.
#mypathtolaw

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We moved to Astoria, NY where my grandparents owned a grocery store. My dad went from being an architect at Samsung to working at the grocery store. Long hours, working 7 days a week.

My mom was an art teacher before getting married. She started working at a nail salon.