I totally get not wanting to read rich, white, alphole billionaire heroes. But I have a real issue with the idea that poor and working-class women aren't supposed to fantasize about having a lot of money because *ideological purity*.
We see a lot of people in various privileged positions declaring a trope dead while not thinking past their own experiences on the subject. A black author or reader wants a book about black billionaires in a genre dominated by whiteness? There has to be room.
Yesterday, I saw the best clarification tweet I've ever seen, in which someone said basically, "I'm not trying to build up Person A by tearing down Person B. They're both assholes but Person A is just slightly less of an asshole," and I have been thinking about it ALL NIGHT.
I feel like we sometimes think that if we criticize an author or other creative's behavior in a situation, people assume we're picking a side or declaring undying loyalty.
I've publically criticized authors whose work I like. I've publically defended people I'd love to see get hit by cars. Sometimes, it's the context of the situation and not the people involved that someone is commenting on.
So, I just started watching this show called The Good Witch. And I'm only four episodes in and it's basically your standard Hallmark type thing...but with really interesting Witch representation? How did I find this?
It just struck me that there is rarely a show that's like, super wholesome and positive about characters who are Pagan/Wiccan/Witches, etc. I'm so enjoying it.
The cast could use fewer white people. Like, I'm white and I'm having a hard time keeping all the white people straight, that's how many white people there are.
HOW DO YOU JUST CONTACT A HUMAN BEING AT FIVERR SUPPORT WHEN YOU HAVE A QUESTION THAT ISN'T COVERED BY THEIR EXTREMELY VAGUE FAQ?!
I'm so mad! Apparently, a client asked for a revision to the order and I received NO notification or messages about it AT ALL. I'm furious. There's no reason I should have received a notification if the client asked for a revision but there's no way to ask why that happened.
I'm about to catch hell for this one: your relationship with your pet is not the same as a parent's relationship with their child and you cannot use your pet as an example while giving them (often unsolicited) parenting advice.
I *know* I'm gonna lose followers for that, but the number of times someone without chilren actually told me to *spray my toddler with a squirt bottle as discipline because it worked on their cat* was absolutely unreal.
I also had a woman look me in the face and scream, "You will never love your baby as much as I love my cat! NEVER!" when I dared to say that there was a difference between having a pet and having a child in casual party conversation.
Sorry, it's not about chronic pain totally, but disabilities in movies. I'm have brain fog right now because MY CHRONIC PAIN CONDITION THAT I'M APPARENTLY SUPPOSED TO NOT DISLIKE is causing brain fog.
Obviously, one should not make a villain disabled as shorthand for evil. But guess what? Sometimes disabled people actually don't like being disabled. And would do anything to escape a painful condition. It's why chronic pain sufferers have such a high rate of suicide.
*deep breath* My first YA in a long time, NIGHTMARE BORN, will debut on @radish_fiction in October!
NIGHTMARE BORN features:
-Autistic heroine who gets to live out her teenage dreams of getting spirited away to Hogwarts but
-her Hogwarts is a stuffy finishing school for humans conceived during nightmares
-Also she's the daughter of the King Of Nightmares
My friend Raven is by far the most patient and supportive friend on the face of the Earth. If you ask him to do ANYTHING, he'll say yes, no hesitation, because he genuinely loves helping his friends. For example:
One time, Mr.Jen and I were talking about this particular character trait of Raven's. Mr.Jen goes, "I bet if you called him right now and said, 'hey, [Mr.Jen] wants to jack off with a noose around his neck, can you help,' he'd say yes."
I honestly thought that this would be Raven's limit. So I call him up, at this point HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO HIM IN SIX MONTHS, and lead right off with, "So, Mr.Jen wants to jack off with a noose around his neck and he needs a spotter. Can you do it?"
I know I'm not supposed to get into anymore conflict, I know the cards told me that, but I have to subtweet. And it's okay, because this person deleted her account anyway, but...you don't have to be afraid of me so much that you worry I'll search my own name and come after you.
Like, this person who I literally never heard about has now completely deleted after telling someone she had to disguise her name in tweets so I wouldn't come after her? How self-important (or afraid of having your own shadiness revealed) do you have to be?
I mean, I hope they deleted for another reason, like a social media break or something. But the timing is so weird. I've got people going, "What did you do to make her delete?" Um. I didn't do anything? I wouldn't have known about the shit-talking unless someone told me?
I also want to real quick touch on Jen Frederickson's allegation that I copied E.L. James's Fifty Shades Of Grey with my book, The Boss, because I'm not sure she heard me way up there on her high horse last night and I want to make sure everyone gets the message.
I began an indepth recap/review of the Fifty Shades of Grey series on my blog back in probably 2011 or 2012. I don't remember the exact date. As anyone does when something they like is criticized, many 50SoG fans responded by saying they would like to see me do it better.
I announced in December of 2013 (sorry for the pause, I was checking the dates) that I was writing The Boss specifically to prove that BDSM romance could exist without falling into the abuse and consent issues in 50SoG and Crossfire.
If you're going to read this, really be prepared to want to punch everything you see. The condescension, the I-got-better-so-now-I-can-save-you, the martyrdom of perceived censorship... Good on Jean Bentley for not backing down in the face of a landslide of bullshit.
"I get it. Every single person who was upset, I wanted to hug them and tell them I get it, and that's what I'm going for." No, you don't get it, lady. And nobody wants your damn hugs. You are not our savior.
"Debby Ryan is gonna eat an entire cake. We're not faking it. She's actually doing it, and she still gets to go out in the world and be beautiful and successful, and she ate an entire cake, and there's no shame in that." Why would someone think this is effective at all?
Well, James, I was born in 1980. I didn't really have time to thoroughly analyze and publically comment upon sitcom satire in the time between my mother's high school graduation and my first day of kindergarten. Pardon me for commenting on a current show at age 38 instead.
Let's discuss, shall we, the immediate jump of people to defend failed satire by screaming, "YEAH WELL ALL IN THE FAMILY!" This is going to be difficult for a lot of people to grasp, but comparing something bad to something good doesn't make the bad thing seem better.
All it does is point out that whatever you're defending could have been done successfully by Norman Lear.
A lot of people: "This piece of media is causing actual harm by depicting vulnerable people as less than human and reinforces harmful stereotypes that create barriers in real life."
Others: "But you're not thinking of the people who AREN'T being negatively impacted!"
We do this over every single thing. "There's a lot of racist stuff in this movie." "But it empowered me as a woman!" "This thing is really misogynistic." "But I identified with the character and it made me feel good!" "This was deeply fatphobic." "You're erasing MY experience!"
Something makes you feel empowered. Okay.
Something echoes your real life experience. Okay.
Something makes you feel good. Okay.
But it's not the responsibility of people being harmed by a piece of media to make sure your experience of that media isn't hindered.
A lot of people who consider themselves the default need to realize that about every person who isn't considered the default, whether we're talking about race, religion, sexuality, gender, size, disability, etc.
Reducing people to "difficult topics" and "powerful statements" implies that their very existence is a problem that must be solved for the comfort of the people who set themselves up as the default.
Like, look. If you're shooting up at 38 weeks pregnant, I'm gonna tell you that you're making a stupid choice. Hands down. But the way some states treat pregnant women is literally like, "Hey, you're a criminal no matter what you do."
When I got pregnant with my daughter, I was tested for drugs at every single appointment. A caseworker from the country demanded a drug test at the hospital because I change my baby's diaper before they could test her meconium. I was treated like a child abuser.
"Don't criticize this book/movie/film for the problematic elements it's touting in the blurb/trailer until you've seen it!" = "I want to see you hurt yourself and then explain to you why you're not actually hurt."
We heard this over and over about that book. "You can't judge from an excerpt!" Then it was, "You can't judge from an ARC because sometimes things change!" and now that it's out and EVERYTHING fat people said about it is true? "HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU DIDN'T READ IT?!"
If someone can't say, "I heard this book/show/film is harmful," then no one can ever again say, "I heard this book/show/film is great!" before they see it. I want NO BUZZ for ANY PIECE OF MEDIA EVER AGAIN if this the hill everybody is going to die on.
For Christ sake, just say "I'm a racist, please see bio" and shut the fuck up about other people's wildly successful and in-demand books, you bitter sack of room-temperature, four day old cottage cheese.
I would love to see authors stop framing self-publishing as a last resort. It's super insulting for those of us who choose to self-publish and contributes to a stigma that impacts our careers.
I'm sorry if the path to publication that you've chosen isn't working out. I understand how frustrating it is to wait and wait and wait only to get a rejection. But I'm tired of seeing, "How long until I give up and self-publish?" as though it's admitting defeat.
If you chose to no longer pursue traditional publication on a project, self-publishing is simply chosing to go a different route to release the story you want out in the world. It's not a subpar alternative.
Ugh, I'm at the airport. Can someone deal with this person I don't know and who wandered over here to lecture me about why the feelings of a creator of a fat-hating show are more important than the lives of fat people? Because I'm done with this bullshit.
Like,so done with people demanding I repeat what I already said in depth over and over. It ain't changing. I don't care if everyone working behind the scenes is fat. The show is still harmful.
And yes, I did QT someone and invite people into their mentions. I don't care because I'm done being told I'm not allowed to call out shit that directly affects me while someone I don't know demands I clarify points I already made.
I'm just gonna say on the whole piracy thing: feel however you want to feel about it, but hear me out. Piracy isn't a lost sale and you shouldn't be figuring it into the potential sales you're tracking in your mind.
It's okay to be upset if someone is stealing your product. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is, don't do the thing so many authors do which is convince themselves that their book would be a #1 NYT Bestseller, making them a billionaire if those pirated books had sold.
That is going to drive you up a wall. I knew someone who was *obsessed* with the idea that piracy was the reason she wasn't making money. It was PIRACY because she was LOSING SALES. And she was miserable all the time. It's all she ever talked about.
Reminder to certain M/M authors: You can be not-straight and still harm other not-straight people with your work.
If gay/bi/pan men are telling you that your depiction of gay/bi/pan men is harmful, they're not being "misogynistic" or "anti-woman." They're telling you that you're harming them. And a lot of you are.
I might get hate for this, but I agree with the gay/bi/pan men who have said MPREG written about two cis males is enforcing heteronormative relationship standards onto gay characters. It doesn't matter if you're a bisexual woman or a lesbian writing it, you're still causing harm.