I know we don’t really do long twitter threads anymore - but I loved them.
So, here’s a story about how I ludicrously spent much of my weekend.
It involves the perils of quick, rapid technology.
And, more importantly, it involves donuts 🍩
Yesterday, I wanted some donuts. We were having guests over and I also needed to get my neighbours a gift each - so I ordered 3 boxes of mini donuts.
Stick with this. Really.
3 boxes.
Apr 13, 2023 • 8 tweets • 2 min read
Last week a trial where the alleged incident was in 2020 and the date had been fixed for OVER A YEAR was adjourned two days before it was due to begin. Why? No courtroom. No judge.
Embarrassing. I’m embarrassed to be a part of it and it’s not even my responsibility.
Tomorrow I’m supposed to be conducting a sentence for someone who pleaded guilty LAST YEAR.
I won’t be.
Do you know why? Sing along if you know the words.
No courtroom. No judge.
Apr 10, 2023 • 10 tweets • 4 min read
This government’s Law and Order record is ripe for criticism, ripe for opposition and ripe for reform. But Labour clattering in, calling Rishi names on Twitter and then conducting some kind of conga line of blame is not only the worst way to do it - it’s a missed opportunity 🪡🧵
Firstly, since 2010 the government have closed 51% of Magistrates’ Courts. That’s local justice for local people out the window. That’s 151 constituencies that have lost their local court. I wrote about why local justice mattered (via the generous @BarristerSecret) here:
Let me tell you who might need a criminal defence barrister one day when they least expect it:
It’s you.
If you believe the state only points the finger at guilty people or bad people or people who aren’t like you then I’m going to need you to sit down for this one: you, your spouse, your kid, your parents, your mate at work could end up in the dock.
And it could happen tomorrow.
Jul 8, 2022 • 5 tweets • 1 min read
If you were the victim of a crime tomorrow and the suspect was not tried until 2024 - would you consider that tough on crime?
If you were wrongly accused of a crime and did not get the chance to clear your name until 2024 - would you consider that a functioning justice system?
This is where we are. This is what is left. Victims waiting. Innocent people waiting.
Justice, waiting.
And the winners from delay?
Guilty people. Just waiting it out.
The government is being outmanoeuvred by guilty people who deal MDMA from their socks.
And it’s a disgrace.
Jun 9, 2022 • 7 tweets • 2 min read
Guys. I dunno. I’m starting to think the Rwanda policy might not be about the boats, not about those seeking asylum or refuge, not about taxpayers but about the current pet battle:
The mythical enemy / policy thwarter of the Left Wing Do Good Lawyer (*panto villain music*)
This allows proposals of headline policy ideas that will either never work or will work in such small numbers that they won’t make a realistic difference to the purported aim.
But, BUT it allows creation of an enemy: a blame-conga line landing at a politically convenient spot.
May 20, 2022 • 17 tweets • 4 min read
This site is so miserable at the moment - it is time for a Thread.
I grew up in the era of the radio show phone-in. They were A Big Deal in the early 00s.
And the biggest of all the big deals was when a radio station held Party in the Park.
You could call to win tickets.
Not just any tickets. Oh no. Hoo boy. You don’t want tickets sitting at the back near the ice cream van.
You could win ‘Pit Passes’.
To the front. With a few hundred other hardcore people.
Jan 7, 2022 • 5 tweets • 2 min read
@SBarrettBar The criminal law is not just a list of rules though, is it? The rules have elements. Which the prosecution must prove. And doing that might be on a scale of human behaviour. And breaches of the rules might have justifications or lawful excuses. Again, often involving scales.
@SBarrettBar So, if someone punches me (🥺) and I punch them back three times. Am I guilty of unlawful assault? Some might say yes, *three* punches was over the top. Some might say no, it was reasonable and proportionate to get them away. But that assessment is fluid, fact-based and human.
Jan 6, 2022 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
Let me tell you who might need a jury to give them the benefit of the doubt one day.
It’s you.
But, please, do carry on with this knee-jerk reaction to a single verdict, in a single case, because you - who heard precisely none of the evidence or the legal directions - disagree.
If you don’t like juries then, please, take a seat, we can discuss the alternatives.
They’ll apply to you, though, should you be accused of a crime.
Of course, many think they’ll never be in the dock - that they’ll never need a jury of peers - and maybe that’s half the problem.
Nov 11, 2021 • 7 tweets • 2 min read
I see the government are trashing defence lawyers again! Hurrah! Comes around earlier every year, doesn’t it?
Let me tell you who might need a defence lawyer one day.
It’s you.
Any one of us - except the most arrogant - should recognise it. We could drive our car or go to a nightclub or go to work or fill in a form or intervene in a situation and end up in the dock. You think it won’t happen to you.
But - and trust me on this - it happens all the time.
Jan 4, 2019 • 14 tweets • 2 min read
I see it’s the official season of trashing Legal Aid. Like clockwork.
The arrogance of some of that criticism is breathtaking.
A thread.
Anyone (I really do mean anyone) can be accused of a crime at the drop of a hat. It might happen when you least expect it. Sometimes things go wrong. Sometimes humans hit other humans with their cars. Sometimes people make allegations that are true / false / somewhere in between.
