Josiah Hawthorne Profile picture
I'm not Young, Restless, or Reformed -- I'm Old, Exhausted, and (Ana)Baptist. Half Took, Half Baggins. 💍 @prov318. #ADHD. He/him.
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Jan 24 9 tweets 3 min read
Theories of Atonement as GIFs from The Office -- a thread.

1: Ransom Theory (Origen) -- Jesus's death was a ransom given to the devil in exchange for humanity's freedom 2. Moral Example Theory (Socinius) -- Both Jesus's life of self-sacrifice, and his martyrdom, were examples for his followers to emulate.
Nov 1, 2023 8 tweets 4 min read
Why the SBC may never reform: a 🧵

1 - The SBC had a "Resurgence" where one theological faction seized power from by cultivating an "US vs. THEM" mentality. The "Resurgence" was led by two men. One was an abuser, and the other was later fired for covering up abuse. 2 - The SBC's now-dominant faction grew up seeing those two men as heroes who won a victory against "THEM."

And perhaps because their faction engaged in dirty tactics, they believe "THEY" would do the same if given the chance. (As though any of THEM are even left?)
Aug 19, 2023 9 tweets 4 min read
Re: people faking credentials to claim authority in evangelical circles:

The "Satanic Panic" of the 80s was driven by the testimonies of alleged former witches, who were later proven be frauds (Mike Warnke, Rebecca Brown, Michelle Smith).

Laurel Rose Wilson was one.

1/5 Image Under the name Lauren Stratford, she wrote an book describing her past as a baby breeder (for human sacrifices) in a satanic cult.

She spoke on Oprah. Her books were carried in church libraries.

But a 1990 investigation by Cornerstone Magazine revealed it to be fabrication.

2/
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May 8, 2023 8 tweets 3 min read
Types of church websites: 1

WHOOSH fancy transitions! Look at our mostly-white slate of male pastors and female "directors"! Learn about Our Vision™! Shiplap! Who knows what denomination we're affiliated with -- it's a mystery! We're not your grandma's church! WELCOME HOME! Types of church websites: 2

Join us EVERY Sunday at 10 am for our IN-PERSON Worship Service. (Posted around April 2021)
(The rest of the website is just a bunch of old YouTube sermon recordings and obsolete Zoom links from March 2020 through March 2021)
Apr 2, 2023 15 tweets 6 min read
"Hangry Jesus" - a 🧵

On Palm Sunday, Jesus entered Jerusalem triumphantly. And then, shortly after, he curses and kills a fig tree.

What's up with that?

Here's a deep dive I did a few years ago: this odd moment might be important for us white evangelicals.

1/15 A picture of a Bible page, with Mark 11:12-14 visible So, was Jesus just "hangry"?

His expectation seems extra unreasonable: How can you get mad at a fig tree for not having figs if it isn't even fig time?

No, there's more going on.

2/15

Mar 30, 2023 4 tweets 2 min read
'[Peter] had most likely misunderstood the saying of his Lord at supper—"He that has no sword, let him sell his garment and buy one." ...They had missed His meaning, which was simply to warn them of the changed circumstances of His cause..." Image 'Brothers and Sisters, we are better without swords and other forms of force than with them, for we have not yet learned, like our Lord, to control ourselves!'

--Spurgeon

ccel.org/ccel/spurgeon/… Image
Mar 26, 2023 4 tweets 1 min read
Them: "The Christian husband has *authority* over the wife!"

Actual Jesus: *to his followers* "You know that the rulers of Gentiles hold *authority* over them -- but it should NOT be that way among you. If you want to lead, lead by being a servant." Them: "The pastor has *authority* over the church!"

The actual Apostle Peter: "Feed the flock of God... Not by flexing authority over God's portion but by being an example to the flock."
Mar 22, 2023 8 tweets 4 min read
Article III of the Southern Baptist Convention's Constitution is what controls who may be considered a "member" of the SBC. It has been amended 13 times.

In the original 1845 Constitution, all that was required was donation.

In '31 we first hear of "cooperation." ImageImageImageImage "...friendly cooperation with this Convention and sympathetic with its purposes and work" was added in 1948. But it's not clear this phrase meant ANY sort of doctrinal affirmation.

It's not until 1993 that "friendly cooperation" is explicitly exclusive with certain stances. Image
Feb 22, 2023 16 tweets 8 min read
Last night I went full Detective Mode hyperfocus, and found ten different quotations from 2000-2004 about how the BFM was *not* meant to be binding on individual SBC congregations. (See 🧵below)

What's interesting is: I got to see how that mentality evolved over 20 years.

🧵 1/ First -- quick backstory.

Baptists have prided themselves on not being "credal," and however you feel about that, it's historical fact that our belief in "soul competency" causes Baptists to approach creeds and confessions with more trepidation that other denominations do.

2/ ImageImageImage
Feb 21, 2023 10 tweets 4 min read
The day the BFM2000 was revised:

"We would never presume to tell another church whom they may call as a pastor..." --Al Mohler

"We don’t have the right, the authority or the power to limit anybody... It is a statement of what most of us believe." -- Adrian Rogers Image From the Baltimore Sun, the same day. Image
Feb 21, 2023 11 tweets 3 min read
Master thread of all my kids' weird questions and commentary (as well as some of my own) as we've been reading through the Narnia series.

1: Infinity Aslans

2: Trying to figure out why Eustace transformed into a dragon

Feb 7, 2023 4 tweets 2 min read
"Observe, if you will, this church website. You can see the non-denominational name, a mere mish-mash of random Christianese. And yet, read that Statement of Faith. Hmm! Word-for-Word copied from the New Hampshire Confession of 1833. What do you make of this church, Watson?" "Inspector Gregory, let me recommend to your attention the curious incident of the women in the 'Leadership' section of the church website."

"But no women are listed in the 'Leadership' section."

"That is the curious incident," remarked Sherlock Holmes.
Feb 6, 2023 4 tweets 1 min read
For the most part, Christians completely agree about what Christians should do after they sin.

And to a large extent, beyond the core basics that hopefully nobody disputes, Christians have a wide range of opinions about which modern actions might or might not be "sin."

1/4
This means that almost certainly, some Christians are sinning but honestly do not think what they are doing is a sin. In fact, all Christians might be doing that on SOME issue, no?

What happens to Christians who are unknowingly sinning -- who might NEVER know?

2/4
Feb 5, 2023 5 tweets 1 min read
The kids are watching a movie adaptation of Pilgrim's Progress with Kristyn Getty as the narrator.

Interesting expansions they're giving the story, but... his name is "Christian Pilgrim" before he converts? I remember it was canon that his name was Graceless at first. Hey! "Evangelist" is definitely voiced by Gimli!
Jan 7, 2023 11 tweets 5 min read
Okay, here we go. Lost at least two — looks like the rubber cork eventually failed, letting most of the wine leak or evaporate out. The wine inside these two smells, not quite vinegar, but not palatable.

But next… “Tempest Red” was my second batch made from Welch’s frozen concentrate. (Yes, you can do that, because they don’t add sulfites to the frozen stuff. Can’t do that with bottled juice, your yeast will die.)

Shall we uncork it?
Jan 7, 2023 4 tweets 1 min read
There is something about music being played out loud on someone else’s tinny little phone speaker that fills me with irrational rage.

Get headphones, or play through a Bluetooth speaker that can play the full sound. Please. For the love of my sanity. I am rapidly approaching the levels of auditory overstimulation where I get weird and lose the power of voluntary speech.

It’s happened a few times before: I’m so overwhelmed by noise that I can’t seem to speak above a whisper without huge mental effort.
Sep 15, 2022 9 tweets 2 min read
Who said it?

"We …boggle at how some Christians and conservatives still defend Donald Trump. ...in our efforts to engage our country politically, we have become more Machiavellian and less Pauline. ...we’re willing to do almost anything to ...gain seats on the Supreme Court." Who said it?

"If the Republican Party wants to go in (Trump’s) direction, I guess I’m not a Republican anymore."
Sep 13, 2022 5 tweets 2 min read
"Great saints and citizens" as though being one will mean you are the other. A church's political "drift" determining whether it can make "true disciples."

Instead of a wall of separation between church and state, Meg's out here advocating for a perfectly circular Venn Diagram. Image Wolfe: "God made the nations, and God has given them to us."

Me: *Peter Falk voice* "Where is THAT written?!" Image
Sep 10, 2022 23 tweets 12 min read
Okay, time for a #RingsOfPower Episode 3 livetweet... livewatch... watchtweet... whatever this is.

I'm probably not going to successfully avoid all spoilers, so mute the phrase #RingsofPowerSpoilers if you don't want to be spoilt.

1/? #RingsofPowerSpoilers

I do like the cool sand-being-formed-into-shapes-on-a-drumhead opening. Wasn't there another opening filmed with molten metal pouring down ring molds, though? Is that being saved for later?

2/?
Sep 9, 2022 6 tweets 2 min read
It's easy to accidentally project modern knowledge backward on the ancients.

Here's a thing to consider: the Church Fathers that were against contraception also had no idea what actually *happened* at conception. "Implantation"? "Zygotes?" "Fertilization"? What's that?

1/6 We think, "A sperm plus an egg and they combine genetic material." Well, that knowledge came later.

Aristotle and Pythagoras, a few centuries before, had thought all genetic contribution came from the father, while menstrual blood was "raw material" incorporated into the fetus.
Sep 9, 2022 9 tweets 3 min read
The Holy Spirit *does* communicate the meaning of Scripture to us, throughout a Christian's life. This is called "illumination."

A thread of quotes on the subject:

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"The Reformers... stressed the way the objective, written Word and the inner, supernatural ministry of the Holy Spirit work together, the Holy Spirit illuminating the Word to God's people. The Word without the illumination of the Holy Spirit remains a closed book."

--Boice

2/9