When I was 15, I was chased through a mall by police who were yelling “Stop thief!” I had thousands of dollars of stolen merchandise on me. I was caught, booked, sentenced to 6 months of probation, required to see a parole officer weekly. I was never even handcuffed.
When I was 18, I was pulled over for drunk driving. When the Police Officer asked me to blow into the breathalyzer, I pretended to have asthma and insisted I couldn’t blow hard enough to get a reading.
The officer laughed then asked my friends to blow and when one of them came up sober enough to drive, he let me move to the passenger seat of my car and go home with just a verbal warning.
Here’s what Miranda Bailey would say: “What is the matter with you?? You went out into the street? Without a mask?? Without even a bandana tied around your face? What— Are you— ? Do you UNDERSTAND that you can have this disease and not have any symptoms? ...
Do you understand that with every exhale you are potentially risking the lives of someone’s mother? Someone’s grandmother? Someone’s father, someone’s sister, someone’s brother, someone’s child someone’s...someone? ...
You could HAVE the VIRUS and not KNOW it! I don’t care that you like to go jogging without a mask! I like to do a lot of things I can’t do right now! I don’t care that it fogs up your glasses! Is the mask literally killing you? No? Then put it ON.” #GreysAnantomy#facemask
I've never been more acutely aware of how privileged I am to have spent so many years of my adult life with funds for and access to therapy. My childhood was unsafe and hard and it set me up with a powerful anxiety disorder
which I have spent much of my adult life navigating. I don't do well with medication and so I have had to learn a great many techniques for lifting myself up out of anxiety spirals and their mean sister, depression.
What follows is a list of tools I've used at various times to stay sane and sober. I'm not suggesting anyone forgo their medication, obviously. But some of you are brand new to this level of anxiety and may have never learned tools for walking through it! So I'm sharing mine.