After performing CPR during my husband’s SCA I didn't know how to explain to my family and friends what I was experiencing, so I used a name for the place I had gone. I called it the Quiet Place. 1/6 It was a dark and empty chamber where no words were spoken or understood. If they were there, they flowed in and back out like a silent River Styx running through my brain. It was a place of grief and distress. 2/6

On this day two years ago, my perfectly healthy husband had a sudden cardiac arrest in his sleep. I fought back death for ten long minutes with no weapons but my hands and phone. I watched the color change and eventually drain out of his body. I heard the sounds of his brain stem struggling to suck in oxygen. I heard his body slamming against the hard wood of our living room floor as electricity ripped into his heart. I had the difficult conversations with our 8- and 5-year-old children.

A piece I wrote for @JCardFail, detailing what happened to me after I woke up to @DGlaucomflecken dying in bed.

“My husband had v-fib resulting in SCA. They explained what that meant and asked if I had any questions. ‘Yes. What do I tell our children?’” onlinejcf.com/article/S1071-… I didn't know how to explain to my family and friends what I was experiencing, so I used a name for the place I had gone. I called it the Quiet Place.

The term “caregiver”needs work. It’s a hospital-centered term, by way of the patient. It describes the caregiver’s *work* in relation to *someone else.* It ignores the real and myriad ways the caregiver lives with and is affected by the disease daily. 🧵 1/8 Ironically, the term #caregiver completely ignores the caregivers themselves. Yes, the patient’s needs should be centered by the medical team. Yes, caregivers should be acknowledged as important members of that team. But… 2/8

I’m not sure how to start this. I’ve never really talked about it. And maybe that’s the weirdest thing about being a cancer caretaker. You feel guilty for having a hard time, because at least you don’t have cancer. Well. Here goes. When I met @DGlaucomflecken in college, that was it. I knew I wanted to spend my whole life with him after six months. No rush - we had our whole Iives ahead of us - but I knew that was it for me.