Last year, my family&I witnessed as my beloved grandmother was dying of, among other things, vascular dementia. It was aggressive, she often forgot who all of us were in my family. But she could always tell who was male&who was female. Of the 7 family members who provided round the clock care for my granny, one of them was her son. He was the only male allowed, by my grandmother's consent, to give her end of life care. And even that didn't go without hitches when she forgot who he was.

Hello, I'm gender non conforming (or GNC). I'm female and lesbian.

Gender non conformity does not belong to the trans community. It existed long before identity politics became fashionable.

Gender non conformity means I do not conform to stereotypes associated with my sex. Gender non conformity exists across all ages, all backgrounds, all continents, all races, all sexes, all religions and all sexualities. It exists everywhere.

It is not the same as making words and labels meaningless, or needing to be fluid with our pronouns or how we look.

I recently spoke to a committee overseeing gender identity clinics and I asked them many questions. Some important ones they could not answer. The main one that caused me worry was

'After all of the doctors and psychologists who see young people and adults, with their plethora of identities and with your thorough and rubust protocols for transitioning people, how many individuals do you actually say no to?' Silence. Why is there silence to this question? There must be a number. And if there is no number, why is that?

#Stormont, we are asking you to #presspause on the Ban on Conversion Therapy Bill in Northern Ireland. Wait until the findings of #thecassreview have been released and considered. Conversion Therapy, as we traditionally understand it, is about sexuality and the pressure on lesbians, gay men and bisexuals to confirm to and convert to heterosexuality. Sexuality is cited as being based on biological sex and same sex or opposite sex attraction.

I have to share a thing. Today was the very first day in my life where, at a pub in the temple bar district of Dublin, I was challenged in a bathroom because a lovely lady thought I was a man. She couldn't see my face just my hair from behind and what I was wearing. Her words to me where "Excuse me, this is a women's bathroom", to which I turned around and replied "of course it is that's why I'm standing in it". I had a massive smile on my face.

Conversion Therapy

I don’t do threads very often but the last one went alright, so I’m having another go. This one is about the conversion therapy bill in Ireland.

As you may guess, I support a ban on conversion therapy on lesbians and gay men.

oireachtas.ie/en/bills/bill/… There is no way to turn a lesbian or a gay man into a heterosexual. All attempts are cruel and futile. I have, amongst my friends, people who have survived conversion therapy.

It leaves deep scars that can last a lifetime.

I don’t often do threads, but I had a thought today. So here goes. The reason why we have single sex rape crisis centres for women is that we need spaces away from the men who have harmed us. We need to escape rapists, oppressors, violent men. Some transwomen claim that “cis” women oppress them. How? One way they claim they are oppressed is by “cis” women demanding single sex spaces. Spaces that transwomen cannot be in. Do you see a problem yet? Let me explain one.

Thoughts: I watched a BBC segment on a young transman this morning. It was very one sided, no input from the family or medical profession about feelings or facts, no information about transition and the medical reality of it. What happened to the BBC being impartial on topics? The second thing I found interesting on the topic was this young person saying their dysphoria was so bad they couldn't get out of bed some days. I said to my wife, "If I call in sick tomorrow and use my dysphoria as the reason, how do you think that would go down?"