Lori Anne Thompson R Kin. BSCH Kin. MA CHAD Profile picture
Survivor. Storyteller. Student.
Jeremy Pinnix ☧ Profile picture 1 added to My Authors
12 Oct
If you have been abused the following are your responsibilities:

1. Seek to understand what made you vulnerable, other than your common humanity.

2. Seek to understand the nature of victimology and the playbook of predation — this will help you to protect yourself and others.
3. Work hard to integrate the pre trauma you with the post trauma you.

If there never was a pre trauma you, you have to find the you that you would have been.

It's brutal but you are beautiful.

Find the beauty.
4. Abuse, by its very nature, is nonconsensual.

Guilt and shame over the grooming process is pointless.

You as the victim presumed the good, the predator premeditated evil.

Grooming reflects the guilt of the predator and the guilelessness of the prey.
Read 6 tweets
15 Aug
As a survivor of severe and protracted childhood trauma you grew into adulthood without the life skills required to be a grown up.

Everything you were meant to learn, you did not. Most of what you did learn, you have to unlearn.

This is reality.

A Thread.
The more severe the childhood trauma, the less likely you will have much in the way of skill to navigate adulthood.

There is an increased risk that you you will have mental and physical health issues.

Because trauma most often happens in the family, you have lost roots too.
You may have huge gaps in your development, simply because you were trying to survive. Things like fiscal responsibly, education, personal hygiene, interpersonal relationships, identity, personal preferences, and personhood will probably be under developed.
Read 9 tweets
26 Jul
There are a few lessons that have been burned on my lips by abusers, that I would like to share.

Although these realities are raw, they are not rare.

A Thread.

1. No one is born a predator — they become. There is evidence to suggest a correlation to a combination of factors.
2. Early breaches in attachment, deformation of personality, environmental factors, adverse childhood experiences, mental illness, disposition, all contribute to the development of deviancy.

3. Strangely, what factors fashion a potential predator, also creates potential prey.
4. Hunters by nature, predators are often intuitive to human vulnerability in potential prey.

5. Potential prey may be aware of their vulnerabilities (insert any human need here).

6. Predators promote themselves as the answer to these human needs.
Read 8 tweets
24 Jul
There are so many reasons why predators are drawn to faith based communities.

1. They find safe harbour in naïveté.

2. They are often charming, articulate, manipulators who use human hunger for hope, connection, and redemption, in nefarious ways.
There are so many reasons why predators are drawn to faith based communities:

3. They use your willingness to look at yourself to deflect accountability for themselves.

4. They abuse holy writ and use it to traumatically sexualize the sacred.
There are so many reasons why predators are drawn to faith based communities:

5. Predators only hunt where there is a pool of possible prey: kids, adults, elderly... essentially any flock will have wolves around it, often within it.

Any real shepherd knows this.

Most do not.
Read 8 tweets
24 Feb
1. No one is born a sexual predator, they become one.

2. There are different sorts of predators with specific paraphilias but usually more than one sort.

3. A combination of attachment issues, personality disorder, cognitive distortions, and moral disengagement is at play.
4. Sexual predators start early and stay late. Early intervention can help. Most sex offender self report to lifetime offences.

5. They offend in their heads when they can’t offend with their bodies.

6. Recividism rates reflect getting caught, not actual offences.
7. Sex offenders should be treated — they should never be trusted.

8. The issue of redemption is a tricky one that I have wrestled with deeply.

9. Great evil requires a great remedy — those who commit the former, rarely want the latter.
Read 4 tweets
24 Feb
One thing that concerns me is discussion around sin and sexual abuse. To be sure, sex offenders sin against, others — but they do much more than the run of the mill sinfulness.

They hunt humans.
Sex offenders engage in various forms of sexual deviancy (paraphilias) and utilize in extensive cognitive distortions along with moral disengagement that the average human can’t comprehend.

Why?
It never even occurs to us.

Why?
Because we are not sex offenders.
Well meaning folks apply their own moral code to sex offenders.

This is a grave mistake.

You’d feel terrible if you hurt someone. You’d be wracked with guilt. You’d confess, repent, and never to it again.

You probably wouldn’t sexually abuse someone either.
Read 4 tweets
22 Feb
I wish I didn't know what it feels like to blame the victim, be the victim, love the offender, and wish with all my wisher that the allegations of abuse weren't true — but I do and they are.

What I can tell you is this — the only way through is truth as savage as what it seems.
I was ten when the first offender I knew blamed the victim.

I believed him.

Why?

Because I loved him.

Then I became the victim.

Then I loved her.
I left behind a brother who also believed him and blamed me.

Why?

Because he loved him.

Then he became the victim.

Then he loved me.
Read 4 tweets
22 Feb
I didn’t start speaking to become a personality — just a person. Having lost so much privacy, I only use this account for advocacy. I have FB, but I never use it, and IG is just for folks I actually know. I don’t know how to go on from here, but I’m committing to giving it a go.
I truly don’t know what this looks like right now, other than I know I need to get my frantic automatic nervous system settle down. I also need to clean my house, do that pile of laundry, and find the present a gift again. Bear with me. It’s been a time.
I keep looking at this yellow cottage on Change Island in Newfoundland — so that tells you how much retreat appeals to me. It take 34 hours to get there from here. Think me not brave. Yellow appeals to me — greatly. point2homes.com/CA/Real-Estate…
Read 4 tweets
17 Feb
I have done my best to share my understanding of the predatory playbook, to give coherent statements, and dance around a non disclosure agreement. I confess I am near the edge of panic.

I’d like to share a few thoughts with you and call it a night.

A Thread.
I have written over 247 blog posts at loriannethompson.com

Some of them at good, some bad, some long, some short, some from experience, some from evidence — but all were born of the agony of abuse.

Most anything I am willing/able to say publicly is posted there.
You are all experiencing the betrayal trauma that I and others have had for years. You trusted him. We did too. You believed in him. We did too. The difference is, he didn’t consume you.

Therefore, most of you are experienced secondary victimization and that’s legitimate too.
Read 11 tweets
15 Feb
In this responsive piece, @roddreher explains RZ's abusive behaviour as follows "that either you must be psychotically double-minded, or you must not really believe in God."

That is too limited a view.

A thread.

The Ravi Zacharias Implosion - theamericanconservative.com/dreher/the-rav…
93% of sex offenders self profess to be religious or very religious.

Those who self profess to be 'very religious' have the most number of victims and have committed the most egregious crimes.

This is a bothersome detail between religiosity/sex offenders we often overlook.
Sex offenders commit their crimes at least in part by engaging in cognitive distortions (i.e. sexual entitlement).

What is SO troubling is that religious offenders include the Almighty in their abusive ruse.

They 'sexualize the sacred,' and so doing, they commit sacrilege.
Read 5 tweets
24 Dec 20
@bulkchart32 @Yeshua_pro_vida @pace_damon @rachaelstarke @ReasonsForGod @RZIMhq @RaviZacharias 1. Imagine for a moment a childhood sexual abuse survivor trusting a long hoped for, admired, globally respected parental figure who showed keen interest in your person, offered spiritual guidance, personal interest, the gift of time, attention, admiration, and respect.
@bulkchart32 @Yeshua_pro_vida @pace_damon @rachaelstarke @ReasonsForGod @RZIMhq @RaviZacharias 2. Imagine that your spouse (with his own trauma) also admiring and respecting this same person, and both of you are so pleased to be known and you each value this relationship with seems like an unspeakable and undeserved gift.
@bulkchart32 @Yeshua_pro_vida @pace_damon @rachaelstarke @ReasonsForGod @RZIMhq @RaviZacharias 3. Imagine that that same person takes an extensive period of time to get to know you, is decades your senior, coaxes all of your secret shame, pain, and gains access your inner world. You trust this person implicitly, and so does your partner. For that matter, so does everyone.
Read 7 tweets
23 Dec 20
Brad & I are grateful for the public apologies/action from RZIM employees who have been courageously apologizing and acting— however, our personal wellbeing did not hinge on this.

We do feel, that it is to the benefit of all to understand predatory practices on the whole.
I am pleased to say that we have done so much work, that we jointly feel relieved for those who have courageously forward. Being blind to be betrayal makes not only you vulnerable to predation, but others in your sphere.

We know this intimately.
Neither Brad nor I would ever condemn any sincere desire to understand the complex dynamics of betrayal blindness, and the staggering sequela of sexual victimization.

We rejoice where there is sincere flowering of truth, and we know how painful but protective it is to see.
Read 9 tweets
22 Dec 20
Victims who experience DARVO do not enjoy the credibility of the offender.

Many times the (D) denial, (A) attacks, and (RVO) reversal of victim and offender roles submerges victims into lifelong and life limiting savagery.

The truth is complex but there is credibility in it.
The power imbalance that endeavours abuse in the first place, extends into abuse disclosure and DARVO.

Victims universally don’t disclose due to the shame surrounding sexual abuse, and this power differential.

Who would believe small against the tall?

Very often no one.
Many victims remain entombed in silence even as I speak.

They watch in desperation how you believe/disbelieve others who have dared risk all to speak the truth of sexual abuse to themselves and others.

Every word measured, every gesture weighed against risk.
Read 5 tweets
27 Oct 20
A few short thoughts on a long topic:

1. Abusers do not abuse all people — only some people. When someone you “know well” is accused of sexual abuse and they did not abuse you — your experience will not be the same as his victims.

Obviously.
2. Abusers most often cultivate a double life.

Ergo, they will have strategic access to victims while ensuring they are unquestioned and “above reproach,” even whilst engaging in reproachful conduct.
3. Victims are most often selected based on specific characteristics (age, gender, appearance) but the most important part in the selection process is — wait for it — vulnerability.

Victims rarely enjoy the credibility of the offender.
Read 10 tweets
25 Oct 20
Having grown up in deep poverty, I know what it is to hunger and to thirst.

I remember the first time I saw an abundantly full fridge full of beautiful nourishing food.

I was 22.

Food is life. Image
I bought a cookbook at 22 and decided if I wanted to eat well, I’d better teach myself how to cook.

Really good food is one of the ways I say, “I love you. I care about you. Your well being and comfort is important to me.”

Much of the ways I care come from being uncared for. Image
Because obesity and adverse childhood experiences go hand in glove, I have been careful to nourish the hungry, not stuff the insatiable. No amount of food can drown despair — however good it may be. Image
Read 5 tweets
20 Aug 20
The further on I go through life the more I realize how trauma makes you rootless. It rips out tender shoots of relationships, it amputates attachment, it hacks down lineage, it truncates tradition, and leaves the survivor adrift with neither a compass nor an anchor. #Trauma #ACE
Early and protracted trauma coupled with multiple abandonments leaves the soul unsheltered and open to the eviscerating elements — and eviscerate the elements do. They also erode, disorient, and create a dyslexia of both direction and discernment. #Trauma
The motherless child, devoid of all good nurture, must herself mother and nurture. Absent of mortal guideposts she must seek and find an inner compass embedded by mothers of old, pulling from some deep nurturing well that she having not sipped from herself, must lead others too.
Read 6 tweets
7 Apr 20
There are very specific reasons why people cannot or will not see the truth about people they admire or even about themselves. When you wrap religion and any sort of “authority” around the criminality/deviance — it is that much harder to help the unseeing world see. #churchtoo
There is a lot at stake for people to come out of their #betrayalblindness. IMHO, the time has not yet come for communities of faith to reckon with their own religious deviance and they may never. #churchtoo #institutionalbetrayal
This is also enrobed in politic and wrapped tightly with individual rights and freedoms to be utterly insane and ardently admired. We are a LONG, LONG, LONG way from cherishing the #whistleblowers — we would rather run them through instead. #churchtoo
Read 4 tweets
7 Mar 20
@WarrenColeSmith @reachjulieroys @MinistryWatch @RNS @CTmagazine Yes in fact I can.

I could say more if I was not bound to a NDA.

You may be interested in this article regarding the lawsuit my husband filed in 2008.

google.com/amp/s/lorianne…

Apparent extortionists?

Apparently NOT. 😡
@WarrenColeSmith @reachjulieroys @MinistryWatch @RNS @CTmagazine A simple google search would have turned up a different narrative — but that would require journalistic integrity.

thebanner.org/news/2011/10/b…

crcna.org/news-and-views…
@WarrenColeSmith @reachjulieroys @MinistryWatch @RNS @CTmagazine I hope I sound as outraged as I am — as you would be too if faith based organizations such as yours (virtual wave of hand) showed less integrity than atheistic ones.

thebanner.org/news/2015/03/c…

Should you like to amend your publications I can be contacted through this platform.
Read 4 tweets
9 Oct 19
I’m going to say something that is equal parts hard to hear and helpful.

Listening to, watching, and reading about another’s primary trauma can become a secondary trauma for the listener.

Professionals are trained on how to handle thier own vicarious trauma.

A Thread.
Evidence suggests that simply being listened to is therapeutic and cathartic to the speaker. Evidence also suggests it can be traumatic to the listener depending on their own trauma, disposition, physiology etc. Graphic details may to too much for laity to process.
Absolutely yes.
Read 9 tweets
12 Mar 19
What is the victims responsibility?

To recover choice.
To find voice.
To restore the ruins.
To do the hard work of healing.

Don’t you DARE tell a victim it is his/her “responsibility” to tell the story.

It shows you are uniformed at best and utterly obtuse at worst. 🤨
Do you know how long it can take to do the hard hard work of healing what someone else smashed????

Years, I tell you.
Years.

Cowards look at the courageous and ask for more.

Why?

They are COWARDS. 👊🏻

#churchtoo
#metoo
#CSA
#trauma
#recovery
You know not what you ask. You put a foot on the neck of the broken and you ask them to rise, to speak, yet you never remove your polished boot.

FOR SHAME.

Shut thy mouth.
Fall silent.
Then no one will think you the fool.

#churchtoo
#metoo
#trauma
#recovery
Read 6 tweets
6 Mar 19
1. I spoke at length yesterday with a long time advocate who will remain unmentioned. We discussed the issue of health, hope in the face of hopelessness, betrayal, blindness and balance in the face of it at. #churchtoo #abuseofaith #metoo
2. I thought I understood that this was a marathon, not a sprint. Her farsighted showed me the importance of pacing, of rest, of picking with great care the corner of this garment of sorrow I choose to sow my strength in. #churchtoo #abuseoffaith #MeToo
3. I went to bed with a heart of lead. I know I cannot keep pace with others. I’m a plodder not a runner. I know my strength is small and my is weakness great. I feel my finiteness and the fragility of my frame. I am so human. #churchtoo #abuseoffaith #MeToo
Read 6 tweets