Thread sharing hope (many CWs)

My brother-in-law is racist. Horribly, intensely homophobic and painfully (I mean this sincerely, as a nonbinary person) transphobic. I don't know how my sister married him.

Here we are, I'm living with them. That feels good to admit to someone. > I knew he was racist. I heard him call some of my sisters friends the n word, hard r. I knew from then I wanted NOTHING to do with him. Especially once I came out as nonbinary.

I was terrified to move in with them. Whenever someone is so racist, they often are transphobic too ->

I have been really struggling on whether to be honest about this, but I'm struggling with some serious mental health issues. I have PTSD, and when I get triggered, I end up having a panic attack. One of the things I've learned helps me stop it, is self-harming. So Monday I had to cancel even though I had been having Trihex on, because Sunday night I had a panic attack, started self-harming to try to stop it, and had to go to the ER for stitches.

I felt incredibly guilty, but I was up late at the ER, and the whole event was exhausting.