In 2020, I implored my med school deans to take student suicidality seriously. I was told to focus less on advocacy. I was told students are so spoiled with benefits these days, what do they have to be depressed about. 2 months later the institution lost a student to suicide… The school’s consequent “shock” & “concern” felt so hollow. They painted it as such a surprise, as suicide in med often is. “How could someone so loved and successful do this?” Anything to avoid accepting this is the status quo. That every program perpetuates the risk factors.

I officially withdrew from medical school. I can’t keep sacrificing for such an abusive field. Caring for my mom through her cancer journey put so much into perspective and I can’t leave her to finish a degree I was already so burnt out in. While it’s devastating to stop… 1/? … after investing so much, I’m as damn proud of myself for getting out of med school as I was getting in.

Of course withdrawing with $100k+ debt and minimal family income is absolutely terrifying. Putting my own well-being and my mother’s care first is invaluable though. 2/

Today marks 11 years since I watched my dad die. 11 years since I tried to resuscitate him during cardiac arrest. 11 years since I first thought it was all my fault. A 🧵on #grief, #loss, and #healing 1/19ish I’m still learning everyone grieves differently. I don’t miss my dad every day, every little thing doesn’t remind me of him - it never did, not even at the beginning. Part of it may be the trauma and part of it may just be a different response. I felt soo guilty the first year 2/