It's been a while since I posted an uPPPdate on the world of America's small business owners. We have a pair of incredible stories today out of Atlanta

Carl Delano Torjagbo (I am assuming he is an African immigrant, probably a Ghanan) claimed to own a gold mine in Ghana in which he employed Keanu Reeves, Gene Hackman, Oliver Twist, and Jon Snow. He scored nearly 10 million on the PPP loan in 2021, and got over 3 million on an additional attempt at IRS fraud

A notable quirk about our friend Carl here is that while he did get himself a Lambo, he had a particular fixation on plastic surgery, especially ab implants

He also spent about a million on real estate, trucks, and trailers for a freight and logistics business. Thankfully now we won't have to worry about who he would have chosen to drive his trucks

Our second story is just as hilarious

Jonathan Dupiton, AKA "Finesse, is the host of the PPPopular podcast Rich & Unemployed

You can already guess where this is going

From what I see on social media, Dupiton is a Haitian immigrant. He did time in 2017 for SNAP fraud. He was out just at the right moment to get in on PPP fraud, as well as pandemic-era unemployment benefits, to the tune of about 10 million

It appears that he used that money to immediately start a podcast called Rich & Unemployed. It became quite popular. Finally some time in July fans found out he was under investigation

Another hilarious detail here is that this guy is dating one of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, Porsha Williams. Porsha was allegedly cheating on her Nigerian husband Simon Guobadia with our friend Dupiton. Dupiton allegedly all but admitted that he was sleeping with her on his podcast. In February, Guobadia was detained by ICE and deported, as he was openly here when he shouldn't have been. February is also when the feds came down on Dupiton

I have a strong hunch that Dupiton and Williams may have called ICE ln Guobadia, who then may have ratted on Dupiton to the feds

🚨🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨🚨

Multiple Fulton County officials who are refusing to allow poll watchers in for observation have been found to have claimed fraudulent PPP loans

This is the link for reporting fraudulent PPP loans 😎
pandemicoversight.gov/contact/about-…

The most important statistic of the decade is here

During the pandemic, 523 women with the first name of Shaniqua took out PPP loans

The amount loaned to Shaniqua small business owners in 2020 and 2021 totals approximately 8.4 million dollars 176 Shaniquas listed their business as Beauty Salon, Cosmetics, or Nail Salon

If you haven't been following me for a while I'm going to let you in on the biggest secret that white people aren't supposed to know about the pandemic relief programs

https://twitter.com/dr__submarine/status/1752454066813141453

You can pick any name that you think might fit the profile and find hundreds of businesses with a single employee

A thread of the Steve Sailer Jaws meme, solely from today's posts about traffic fatalities

Starting off with perhaps the best one ever on some rando lib:

Gonna start maintaining a thread of some of the insane things from 2020 that we're supposed to forget

We'll get to the riots, but let's start with a covid classic: filling skateparks with sand

https://twitter.com/nowthisnews/status/1251914707021201415

Remember when a leftist riot apologist journo hired a trigger happy bodyguard and then he went and killed a guy?

Update: the DA dropped all charges, said it was obvious self-defense in the video (no national trial and comment from the president first?)

https://twitter.com/denverpost/status/1323772214731264008

RW Twitter: Hmm there's a virus in China we should keep an eye on. Maybe we should ban travel from that area.
Dems then: That's racist!
Dems now: This is the worst disease ever and also we should do travel bans. RW Twitter: Ok well locking down all of society seems like a bad idea, especially the schools.
Dems then: You must want grandma to die!
Dems now: Wow what happened to our kids and also who could have seen this supply chain crisis and inflation coming?

The lockdowns are genuinely driving me crazy. I've stopped and realized how much my thinking has been affected since they started and it's dramatic. The absolute destruction of our ordinary routines in favor of these isolated, work-from-home routines has been unbelievably cruel The simple act of seeing other people around throughout the day, even those you aren't super close to, has a profound impact on your mental health that you don't grasp until it's gone. And the difference between driving to work and rolling out of bed and starting up Zoom is huge

Doing home workouts is being Sisyphus but not being happy

I fell off a lot in my frequency by fall of this year, but my resolution now is to recover my gains to spite Gavin Newsom and Eric Garcetti. I want to mog them IRL in a Governors to Gitmo shirt The absolute worst part of home workouts is their length. I actually loved long workouts in the gym but there's nothing good about long home workouts, and working over Zoom makes routine harder

I may settle into just 5 or so compound lifts with high frequency