One key reason many men don’t recognise our roles in preventing and reducing rape is that we don't realise that most rapes are by men known to the victim, in a familiar location, without serious physical injury, and that rapes are common. Many men have a mistaken idea of rape
1/6 Men often imagine some crazed guy, in a park, violently raping a passing woman.
Men often don’t think of what’s far more common:
A man pressuring his date into sex.
A man expecting that his wife will have sex whenever he wants to.
A man taking advantage of a drunk woman. Etc.
2/6

Violence and gender: Men’s rights advocates (MRAs) like to cherrypick findings that show or seem to show that domestic violence against men is more common than DV against women. The latest example comes from a multi-country study of university staff’s experience of violence.
1/5 MRAs claim the study shows more men than women have experienced physical domestic violence.
Two problems:
1) The study *is not* about DV. All the questions ask about violence by someone connected with the institution – other staff or students - not about intimate partners
2/5

Fostering Healthy Masculinities among Men and Boys
First, let’s define ‘masculinity’: The socially learnt roles, behaviours, and attributes that are seen as appropriate for boys and men in a given society.
There are diverse versions of masculinity in different contexts.
1/13 But in many contexts, masculinity is defined in terms of dominance over women, sexual entitlement, homophobia, aggression, rigid stoicism, etc.
There are various terms for this form of masculinity: Hegemonic. Sexist. Traditional. Toxic. Patriarchal. I’ll go with the last of these

Sex and housework: In heterosexual couples with children, when women do more of the household labour than men, they have lower sexual desire, for two reasons: 1) they are more likely to see their partners as dependent on them, and 2) they see the division of labour as unfair
1/3 Implications: Women's sexual desire is constrained by gender inequities. Low desire in women is not located in women, their bodies or minds. Instead, it is a symptom of a broader problem, of inequalities between men and women, including in the division of household labour.
2/3

Sexual violence: It is comforting, but wrong, to think that only a tiny proportion of men ever commit sexual violence. 29.3% of male university students in the USA and Canada have perpetrated some kind of SV - systematic review of studies over 2000-2017 among 25,524 men.
1/4 International studies, similarly, find that significant proportions of men, from 2%, to 10%, to 51%, have ever used sexual violence against a woman. This survey (2011) finds that men’s lifetime reported use of SV was around 9% in most countries. 2/4 https://t.co/gNyen0g4eTicrw.org/publications/e…

Boys, pornography, and sexual violence: A multi-country European study finds that young men who use porn regularly are more likely than other young men to perpetrate sexual violence (Stanley et al. 2018). Survey of 4,564 young people aged 14 to 17 in five European countries. 1/4 Boys were far more likely than girls to regularly watch pornography. Among boys, regularly watching pornography was associated with increased probability of being a perpetrator of sexual coercion. 2/4

Privilege: Can be defined as “systematically conferred advantages individuals enjoy by virtue of their membership in dominant groups with access to resources and institutional power that are beyond the common advantages of marginalised citizens” xyonline.net/sites/xyonline… 1/7 Three features of privilege. Privilege typically is a) invisible, b) normalised, and c) based on a sense of entitlement among privileged groups. Journal article by Bob Pease and Michael Flood (2006), in full text at xyonline.net/sites/xyonline… 2/7

Wellness is not women’s friend. It’s a distraction from what really ails us
By Kate Seers and Rachel Hogg. 1/4
theconversation.com/wellness-is-no… Neoliberal feminist notions of wellness emphasise that idea that women’s health and well-being depend on our individual choices. They are a seductive distraction from what’s really impacting women’s lives.
Wellness blames women and hides structural and cultural inequities 2/4

Sexual assault is not primarily a crime of ignorance, and consent education should not focus only on providing knowledge. By Sophie Shead. 1/6
abc.net.au/religion/sophi… @Usyd_Philosophy @ArtSS_Sydney @Duncanivison @Sydney_Uni “Sexual assaulters may sometimes simply be ignorant. But more often, they are sexist, entitled, and unafraid. They view other people’s desire and personhood as less real than their own." 2/6

When Male Allyship Fails
Rosie Xing criticises the men who loudly proclaim themselves as “feminist allies” but who use the movement as a shield for their misbehavior, the men who view their support as conditional, who pay lip service to feminism. 1/6
upennfword.com/2021/03/28/whe… “The list of men who use the veil of feminism to harass and assault women is long, and they inject a certain hopelessness to the notion of triumphing over a misogynistic society.”
But, "There is and will always be ample room for men in the feminist movement, men who..." 2/6

#HaveAWord with yourself, then your mates. A powerful video and campaign from
@MayorofLondon, here: (1:52 min. video). With more information at london.gov.uk/have-a-word. There are 8 things I think are important about this campaign. 1) The campaign rests on the fundamental insight that men have a vital role to play in preventing and reducing men’s violence against women. That preventing and reducing violence against women must not be women’s job alone. That would be simply unfair.

Participation in sports focused on violence, power, and strength (boxing, weightlifting, etc.) *increases* boys’ and young men’s involvements in violent and antisocial behaviour. That's the finding of a longitudinal study among boys aged 11-13, over two years. 1/10 Some people claim that participating in sports based on aggression *releases* aggression (has a cathartic effect), making aggression outside sport less likely. This longitudinal study finds the reverse. It finds that such sports *increase* violent and antisocial behaviour. 2/10

The Poison of Male Incivility: The degradation and dismissal of women — as disgusting, crazy, infantile, incompetent, irrational, and stupid — has been key to the building and maintenance of disproportionately male power in American political, economic, social, & sexual life 1/4 Powerful men’s “reduction of their would-be female peers — their ideological and electoral adversaries and competitors for power — has helped clear away potential impediment to their own professional trajectories.” 2/4

Good guys and bad guys. We have to let go of a comforting illusion that there is some bright line between men who rape and men who don’t rape, between the bad guys and the good guys. Many men don’t rape, but do contribute to the problem. feministcurrent.com/2017/11/06/goo… 1/4 We should not let the worst and most egregious cases of men’s violence against women derail the analysis of how a wide range of men’s intrusive and abusive sexual behaviours against women and girls are woven into the fabric of patriarchal society. 2/4

Porn Makes Men Terrible in Bed. “I hate porn because f**king men who have watched a lot of porn is the worst. The absolute worst… Most porn is about watching women pretend to enjoy sex acts that are unpleasant to them.” medium.com/@emmalindsay/p… 1/5 Pornography: “Men who watch this type of porn are basically being taught sexual practices that will not work in real life. […] the only moves you’re learning are moves that will leave your partners miserable.” medium.com/@emmalindsay/p… 2/5

Fathers, talk to your children: about relationships, sexuality, violence, respect, and consent. Two studies find that fathers talk less than mothers to their children about these areas. But fathers have vital roles to play. 1/4 A US study among parents of children aged 11-18 found that mothers were more likely than fathers to discuss domestic violence with both male and female children (Rothman, Miller, Terpeluk, Glauber, & Randel, 2011). 2/4

Talk to your sons: about relationships, sexuality, and violence. It is particularly important for parents to talk to boys about issues of relationships, sexuality, and violence, given the evidence that parents do this less among sons than daughters. 1/4 A US study among parents of children aged 11-18 found that parents were 1.5 times more likely to have discussed domestic violence with their adolescent daughters than their adolescent sons (Rothman, Miller, Terpeluk, Glauber, & Randel, 2011). 2/4

Government plans for preventing men’s violence against women: “The Women’s Statement (a separate budget booklet) focuses on prevention as a women’s issue, with targeted efforts for key populations. It never mentions men as central to this work.” 1/4
theconversation.com/theres-1-3-bil… “Prevention work is absolutely critical to reducing violence against women, but we need men to be a core part of this, and we need to name the problem of men’s violence.”
“We must recognise it is men’s violence that we are primarily seeking to address and eliminate." 2/4

#NotAllMen? “Good men care about oppression. They care about the lived experiences of women. They understand that, without listening to women, they cannot learn what women experience. They believe women." 1/4
zawn.net/blog/hello-you… "When women share their experiences and your responses is, "But not all men!" you undermine those experiences. You show no concern for oppression. You are not behaving as a good guy." 2/4

The Myth of Maternal Gatekeeping
By Zawn Villines
zawn.net/blog/slq90me1j… 1/4 Women who correct their partner's parenting aren't gatekeeping; they're protecting their families and their children from men who have not bothered to learn to do things right--or who, more likely, are deliberately doing things wrong so that their wives will stop asking for help.

Healthy masculinity? What qualities are part of a positive, healthy, ethical alternative to the forms of patriarchal masculinity that sustain gender inequalities and limit men’s and boys’ own lives? First, some background on masculinity… 1/16 ‘Masculinity’ refers to the meanings given to being male and the social organisation of boys’ and men’s lives and relations. So masculinity is part of identities, behaviours, interaction, peer cultures, media, and the formal and informal workings of institutions. 2/16