There’s so much to be said about the rheumatologists in LASUTH and LUTH that manage #LupusWarriors here in Lagos, their attitude to work and how they make us feel. If nobody will say it, I definitely will, and what better time than during #LupusAwarenessMonth Today, I celebrate our doctors. For letting us invade their privacies and making themselves available every time we need them. For enduring hot stuffy consultation rooms to attend to tens of Lupus patients every clinic day.

“Good afternoon everyone. I am Jay’s husband. Just wanted to inform you all that we lost Jay some days ago.
She’ll be buried next week. We’ll share the details if some of her friends on the group will like to attend.”
#LupusAwarenessMonth “Good evening, family. I am sad to inform you all that we lost one of our sisters, Tee. We are mobilizing a team to go visit her family. Here’s her husband’s account number for us if we’d like to donate to her family.”
#LupusAwarenessMonth

I really hope that we Nigerians are ready for all the “inconveniences” we need to explain before our country gets better.

Let’s start with the businesses that have never paid taxes since they started operating. If a “working Nigeria” comes after your company… …hope you won’t start crying that the government hates you?

Our coven was attacked for the first time a night before my appraisal at work. It was that day I confirmed that bird pass bird, and that coven leader cannot pronounce R. In the middle of the incantations flying around, I counted five coven members with bow-leg What pained me the most was that I’ve not eaten one meat like this since I joined this coven. The one time I now decided to eat my share, they didn’t even let me finish it, the rival coven entered with thunder and sounded coven leader’s cheek so hard even her tribal marks cleared

Being a Lagos witch is tough. You cannot decide to carry your laptop and fly to work when Uber or Bolt fares are too high or when there are no buses. You have powers but it’s easier to use them to make your line manager fall sick than to get the MD to start paying you in dollars Tunji has been asking you to come on a weekend getaway with him since forever but as much as you’ve wanted a baecation all your life, how would you explain to him that his baddie turns into a birdie when the clock strikes 12. A vulture for that matter o.

Being a witch in Lagos must be hard. After a stressful day at your 8-8 job, you still have to prepare for midnight meetings where your own share of the coven’s latest victim is the feet of an angry Nigerian that has never had a pedicure 🤮 You also have to endure the rants of your coven mate who comes to the meeting every day to complain about her neighbour whose husband just got a new car. You’re wondering why she’s not asking for her own car but for the coven to kill the neighbor and her husband. Sigh 😏

I had a classmate in primary 2/3 that bullied me so much. She used to tell us she was a witch and that she’s the one stopping her mum from having another child. Many of us used to submit snacks and food to her so she doesn’t kill us. She reached out to me recently on IG... ... as per “Misturah wow, you’re now so fat” ( used to be very skinny as a kid). Omo fear catch me, Aunty aje, e tun wa mi de bi 😭😭I’m so fat, now you want me to submit my blood to you? You don upgrade pass goody goody and caprisun.

Two years ago today, I called my father and told him I wanted to resign from one of the best advertising agencies in Nigeria.
He asked if I had found another job, I said no. Then he asked why I wanted to leave, I told him I wasn’t happy. For someone who has been in the industry for a long time, he didn’t understand what not being happy meant. To him, you didn’t have to be happy with your job, as long as you had a source of income and an environment where you can grow, what more could you possibly ask for?

Eid Fitr two years ago, I left work at 8pm, no bus. I walked from Ikeja Along to Iyana Dopemu with some strangers, we cornered inside Agege, got to that Habeeb Yoghurt side, then it started raining. One random bike man saw me and asked me to jump on his bike. This man kept complaining but he still dropped me at Abule Egba, in front of his house and asked me to be going.

He didn’t collect money or anything. I don’t even know why he helped me.

Got to Sango 2am that day. That’s when I decided I had to move to Lagos fully.