Quite a few French words have found their way into English. We’ve got the phrase ‘hors d’oeuvres’ for starters. And I feel sure I’ve seen ‘déjà vu’ before.

It’s great that Jamie has been found, but I’m still seeing this tweet being shared. Maybe it’s an idea to screenshot the original, delete the tweet, and share the good news that way. Just an idea.

https://twitter.com/legally_lola/status/1645508368767877144

I’m aware I’m sharing it too. Hopefully people who see my tweet won’t then go on to retweet the original. That would be an odd thing to do.

Just back from the barber's where as well as my usual head shave and beard trim I received an impromptu nasal waxing. This involves the barber dipping cotton buds into his little cauldron, a wax fondue if you will, then sticking it up your nose, one on each side.

Wibble. He waits a minute or two for it to 'go off', then puts a foot up on your face, grabs the other end of the stick with both hands and yanks it out, bringing lots of nose hair and sundry detritus with it.

In theory.

When you're young you think systems and routines in everyday life and work are for squares: they stifle your creativity and restrict your individuality. As you get older you realise they are the very things that liberate you from constantly being at the mercy of admin. I remember working for an architects practice where we didn't have a filing system on our computers. Jeez, the HOURS we lost hunting round for files. "What did you call it?" "Er… I can't remember" "Ok, but where did you file it?" "I thought it was in my… no, it's not there…"

Recently I posted this on instagram. Today I decided to go in search of that tree. My worry was that it would be in the middle of farmland, inaccessible. I don't have a map of the area, other than the crude sat nav in my car, so I would have to try to home in on it. Karen agreed to come along and help me find it.

Joe Biden is just one of many potae. The problem with trying to do a joke based around getting something wrong (which is the premise of lots of jokes) is that people still try to correct you.

In October we moved into our new home, close to Exeter city centre. We’re about two minutes walk from Fore Street, which goes up to the main high street. All quiet on a Sunday morning. Swinging through 180 degrees, at this junction Fore Street becomes New Bridge Street. Perpendicular to this the streets follow the line of the old city wall which dates back to Roman times. Indeed many of the buildings, like our own house, sit on top of it.

You think sarcasm is the lowest form of wit? You haven't met Deliberately Misunderstanding Your Tweet Due To Some Minor Grammatical Ambiguity. And here's his great friend I'm Going To Do Exactly The Thing You've Just Said You Find Annoying.

A few years ago I took a series of photos around my house, close ups of the edge of a table or a door frame. Somehow, without a marker of scale, they evoked the huge skies, acute perspective lines and flat horizons of my native East Anglia. I called them Tiny Horizons. Now I live in a new house so I’m starting to take some more. I’ve cropped them square and rotated them as I see fit, but there’s no other manipulation. I’ll add new ones to this thread.
#TinyHorizons

Miniature Mastermind First up Alan Peabody. Specialist subject: gravy

I went up to Karen earlier and said “You look like you could do with a little sit down” then held out my hand.

By some miracle we have been together for 29 years. Luckily she just went “Ooooh!”. Possibly because she wasn’t expecting to see a tiny chair. I can still surprise her after all these years.

The whole point of this is that you retweet it. Share it. Liking it doesn’t boost it in the same way. Increase visibility.

https://twitter.com/EssexBarrister/status/1310293793439191042

I’m saying this because I can see lots more people liking it than retweeting it. A like signifies "l approve of this but I’m not going to share it with my followers".

My 17yo just came into my room with a joke he’s made up.

“If we let children go on waterslides they’re just going to want to spend all their time on waterslides”.

He looked quite pleased with himself, and rightly so, I’d say. Come on, don’t tell me you need me to explain it to you.

I used to obsessively doodle on scraps of paper, old receipts etc I remember being lambasted during a lesson by the scariest teacher in the school for doodling. It’s not being ‘distracted’, it’s the opposite. It helped me concentrate and fix ideas in my mind. I would expect most teachers would understand that these days.

I just said I was going for a sneep - somewhere between a snooze and a sleep, but it made me wonder - what is the maximum length of a snooze? What’s the cut-off point? When does a snooze become a sleep? Interesting variety of replies, only confirming that even the well-worn words and phrases we feel we know mean different things to different people.

Went to a restaurant last night and the waiter kept pinching my toes so we complained to the manager and you’re not going to believe this but it turns out the waiter was actually a thousand crabs in a raincoat! The manager did nothing, she just threw a poo at us and drove off! Turns out she was actually four chimpanzees in a Ford Escort.

Cooking tip: fried pasta I cook it first, let it cool (if I can wait: it’s better drier), sweat some onion, add pasta, gradually add any bits and bobs eg mushrooms, peas, chopped sausage, cherry tomatoes, any herbs, smoked paprika maybe and cheese towards the end so it melts and goes a bit crispy too.

I’d like them to remake three men and a baby but with ducks. three ducks and a baby Or three babies and a duck

Ah, petriphony! The sound of rain finally falling on the warm ground. I made this word up as an aural companion to petrichor, because I felt we needed one.

The Crossing The Leaf

No, it’s just I’m shit at drawing.

https://twitter.com/grootled/status/1291691688705101824

It depresses me tbh