I had a long conversation with a friend yesterday who is dealing with a chronic illness. She depends on many friends and family for her care.

She asked me how I have been able to do the things that I have, being alone. I said I had many caregivers at the beginning, but at some point, I gave myself "permission to heal".

IOW, as easy as it would have been to keep accepting *all* the help, physically and financially, my recovery depended on me getting back to living and doing the day-to-day on my own. I still rely on rides to doctor's appointments and delivery services for basic needs, but now I am able to handle the day-to-day living by myself.

She finds herself relying on all her friends and family for many day-to-day things she's told herself she's "not feeling up to". I let her know that once she starts to do *anything* on her own, she'll recognize her own abilities to do things like make phone calls to lower her utility bills, etc. I also gently reminded her of the spending she's used to, and that saying no to impulse buying and amassing stuff, and basically just *whim spending*, should be her new rally call. No more buying ice cream makers that you use once then store in the garage.

Part of the problem is she's always been a very large part of providing for her family and extended family, and even though she can no longer work, she still spends as if she does. She never says no to herself or her friends and family.

I told her generosity is always a great thing, but her financial generosity might need to shift to a relational one now. Build up her friendships by reaching out to people rather than waiting for them to make the first move. Invest in the friendships with those who care about *her*, not her *money*. It will become obvious who is there for money only, not for friendship. I heard an almost audible click as that thought registered with her.

Then I was actually able to explain how to take back her financial life in a few tangible ways. Once she realizes she is quite capable of making one phone call a day to the utility companies to ask for senior discounts to lower her bills in line with her new budgetary restrictions, she'll recognize her independence start to return. THAT'S permission to heal. Not just physically, but relationally, financially, emotionally, etc.

I pep-talked her a little more and I do believe she's ready for baby steps to freedom.

/1 FROM EDEN TO ETERNITY: A CHRONOLOGICAL YEAR THROUGH THE BIBLE
with Daily Grace

Reminder: before you begin reading, pause for a moment to pray that God will help you know Him more today than yesterday. As you read today’s chapters, consider these questions:

1. What attributes of God’s character are revealed in the passage?

Consider places where the text directly states the character of God, as well as how His character is revealed through His words and actions.

2. How does the passage point to Jesus?

Consider how the passage reveals the problem of sin and the forgiveness of sins offered through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. What do I learn about myself in light of who God is?

3. How should the truth of this passage change me?

Consider how you fall short of God’s character, how the text reveals your sin nature, and what it says about your new identity in Christ.

Consider how you might pray for God to change your heart or what practical steps you can take toward cultivating habits of holiness.

4. How do the events of today's reading help you better understand the grand narrative of Scripture?

/2

Four hours' sleep. I'm wiped out already.

And all because of the carbs I had yesterday. Way too many.

Back to clean eating and intermittent fasting. Wish I could power-wash my insides from yesterday and start over.

Glad the Lord power-washes my spirit and behavior each morning. He gives all us believers a clean, fresh start every day. One of the best perks of faith and repentance.

A good Daniel fast might be just the thing to get me back on track.

/1 FROM EDEN TO ETERNITY: A CHRONOLOGICAL YEAR THROUGH THE BIBLE
with Daily Grace

Reminder: before you begin reading, pause for a moment to pray that God will help you know Him more today than yesterday. As you read today’s chapters, consider these questions:

1. What attributes of God’s character are revealed in the passage?

Consider places where the text directly states the character of God, as well as how His character is revealed through His words and actions.

2. How does the passage point to Jesus?

Consider how the passage reveals the problem of sin and the forgiveness of sins offered through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. What do I learn about myself in light of who God is?

3. How should the truth of this passage change me?

Consider how you fall short of God’s character, how the text reveals your sin nature, and what it says about your new identity in Christ.

Consider how you might pray for God to change your heart or what practical steps you can take toward cultivating habits of holiness.

4. How do the events of today's reading help you better understand the grand narrative of Scripture?

/2

Spoke last night to my chiropractor's office for the first time since before January and filled them in about the stroke.

Like everyone else, they were shocked. Then they told me about the success they've had with LLLT (Low Level Laser Therapy) on their patients who've had strokes. They knew my insurance situation and said they'd give me a great deal on a few sessions.

After hearing a few anecdotal stories on their patients' improvements, I looked into it. Seems legit in the stroke recovery world.

Since I want to take healthy habits back into my own hands (rather than stay on meds that keep me chained to a disease, like GERD medications) maybe this will help me jump-start my stroke recovery that has seemingly stalled.

I told my chiro's assistant that making healthier choices is scary after a life-altering event because I feel extremely vulnerable, but there's so much I don't trust about the medical field anymore (especially after watching the covid debacle unfold), that I'm tentatively willing to take a chance.

Ultimately, I'm putting my trust in the Lord as the supreme healer, for his guidance and wisdom to lead me over my fear.

After all, the Lord led me to call my chiropractic office, didn't He? I had no idea what would transpire in that conversation.

Ask and ye shall receive, the Bible says (Matthew 7:7-8, Luke 11:9-10) especially when you pray for guidance and wisdom (Proverbs 6-8). He never fails if your ears & heart are attuned to Him.

Okay, ready for a few minutes of Bible reading to start your day off right?

Great. Follow along:

/1 FROM EDEN TO ETERNITY: A CHRONOLOGICAL YEAR THROUGH THE BIBLE
with Daily Grace

Reminder: before you begin reading, pause for a moment to pray that God will help you know Him more today than yesterday. As you read today’s chapters, consider these questions:

1. What attributes of God’s character are revealed in the passage?

Consider places where the text directly states the character of God, as well as how His character is revealed through His words and actions.

2. How does the passage point to Jesus?

Consider how the passage reveals the problem of sin and the forgiveness of sins offered through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. What do I learn about myself in light of who God is?

3. How should the truth of this passage change me?

Consider how you fall short of God’s character, how the text reveals your sin nature, and what it says about your new identity in Christ.

Consider how you might pray for God to change your heart or what practical steps you can take toward cultivating habits of holiness.

4. How do the events of today's reading help you better understand the grand narrative of Scripture?

/2

Let's start Saturday out right, shall we?

FROM EDEN TO ETERNITY: A CHRONOLOGICAL YEAR THROUGH THE BIBLE
with Daily Grace

Reminder: before you begin reading, pause for a moment to pray that God will help you know Him more today than yesterday. As you read today’s chapters, consider these questions:

1. What attributes of God’s character are revealed in the passage?

Consider places where the text directly states the character of God, as well as how His character is revealed through His words and actions.

2. How does the passage point to Jesus?

Consider how the passage reveals the problem of sin and the forgiveness of sins offered through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. What do I learn about myself in light of who God is?

3. How should the truth of this passage change me?

Consider how you fall short of God’s character, how the text reveals your sin nature, and what it says about your new identity in Christ.

Consider how you might pray for God to change your heart or what practical steps you can take toward cultivating habits of holiness.

4. How do the events of today's reading help you bette understand the grand narrative of Scripture?

/1 JOB 28

JOB SPEAKS OF WISDOM AND UNDERSTANDING

Job 28:1-28 NLT
[1] “People know where to mine silver and how to refine gold. [2] They know where to dig iron from the earth and how to smelt copper from rock. [3] They know how to shine light in the darkness and explore the farthest regions of the earth as they search in the dark for ore. [4] They sink a mine shaft into the earth far from where anyone lives. They descend on ropes, swinging back and forth. [5] Food is grown on the earth above, but down below, the earth is melted as by fire. [6] Here the rocks contain precious lapis lazuli, and the dust contains gold. [7] These are treasures no bird of prey can see, no falcon’s eye observe. [8] No wild animal has walked upon these treasures; no lion has ever set his paw there. [9] People know how to tear apart flinty rocks and overturn the roots of mountains. [10] They cut tunnels in the rocks and uncover precious stones. [11] They dam up the trickling streams and bring to light the hidden treasures. [12] “But do people know where to find wisdom? Where can they find understanding? [13] No one knows where to find it, for it is not found among the living. [14] ‘It is not here,’ says the ocean. ‘Nor is it here,’ says the sea. [15] It cannot be bought with gold. It cannot be purchased with silver. [16] It’s worth more than all the gold of Ophir, greater than precious onyx or lapis lazuli. [17] Wisdom is more valuable than gold and crystal. It cannot be purchased with jewels mounted in fine gold. [18] Coral and jasper are worthless in trying to get it. The price of wisdom is far above rubies. [19] Precious peridot from Ethiopia cannot be exchanged for it. It’s worth more than the purest gold. [20] “But do people know where to find wisdom? Where can they find understanding? [21] It is hidden from the eyes of all humanity. Even the sharp-eyed birds in the sky cannot discover it. [22] Destruction and Death say, ‘We’ve heard only rumors of where wisdom can be found.’ [23] “God alone understands the way to wisdom; he knows where it can be found, [24] for he looks throughout the whole earth and sees everything under the heavens. [25] He decided how hard the winds should blow and how much rain should fall. [26] He made the laws for the rain and laid out a path for the lightning. [27] Then he saw wisdom and evaluated it. He set it in place and examined it thoroughly. [28] And this is what he says to all humanity: ‘The fear of the Lord is true wisdom; to forsake evil is real understanding.’”

/2

Good Thursday morning! I just accidentally skimmed a bunch of California politics posts. That's how *not* to do mornings. 😉

Here's today's Bible reading and thoughts about them:

FROM EDEN TO ETERNITY: A CHRONOLOGICAL YEAR THROUGH THE BIBLE
with Daily Grace

Before you begin reading, pause for a moment to pray that God will help you know Him more today than yesterday. As you read today’s chapters, consider these questions:

1. What attributes of God’s character are revealed in the passage?

Consider places where the text directly states the character of God, as well as how His character is revealed through His words and actions.

2. How does the passage point to Jesus?

Consider how the passage reveals the problem of sin and the forgiveness of sins offered through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. What do I learn about myself in light of who God is?

3. How should the truth of this passage change me?

Consider how you fall short of God’s character, how the text reveals your sin nature, and what it says about your new identity in Christ.

Consider how you might pray for God to change your heart or what practical steps you can take toward cultivating habits of holiness.

4. How do the events of today's reading help you better understand the grand narrative of Scripture?

/1 JOB 22

ELIPHAZ'S THIRD RESPONSE TO JOB

Job 22:1-30 NLT
[1] Then Eliphaz the Temanite replied: [2] “Can a person do anything to help God? Can even a wise person be helpful to him? [3] Is it any advantage to the Almighty if you are righteous? Would it be any gain to him if you were perfect? [4] Is it because you’re so pious that he accuses you and brings judgment against you? [5] No, it’s because of your wickedness! There’s no limit to your sins. [6] “For example, you must have lent money to your friend and demanded clothing as security. Yes, you stripped him to the bone. [7] You must have refused water for the thirsty and food for the hungry. [8] You probably think the land belongs to the powerful and only the privileged have a right to it! [9] You must have sent widows away empty-handed and crushed the hopes of orphans. [10] That is why you are surrounded by traps and tremble from sudden fears. [11] That is why you cannot see in the darkness, and waves of water cover you. [12] “God is so great—higher than the heavens, higher than the farthest stars. [13] But you reply, ‘That’s why God can’t see what I am doing! How can he judge through the thick darkness? [14] For thick clouds swirl about him, and he cannot see us. He is way up there, walking on the vault of heaven.’ [15] “Will you continue on the old paths where evil people have walked? [16] They were snatched away in the prime of life, the foundations of their lives washed away. [17] For they said to God, ‘Leave us alone! What can the Almighty do to us?’ [18] Yet he was the one who filled their homes with good things, so I will have nothing to do with that kind of thinking. [19] “The righteous will be happy to see the wicked destroyed, and the innocent will laugh in contempt. [20] They will say, ‘See how our enemies have been destroyed. The last of them have been consumed in the fire.’ [21] “Submit to God, and you will have peace; then things will go well for you. [22] Listen to his instructions, and store them in your heart. [23] If you return to the Almighty, you will be restored— so clean up your life. [24] If you give up your lust for money and throw your precious gold into the river, [25] the Almighty himself will be your treasure. He will be your precious silver! [26] “Then you will take delight in the Almighty and look up to God. [27] You will pray to him, and he will hear you, and you will fulfill your vows to him. [28] You will succeed in whatever you choose to do, and light will shine on the road ahead of you. [29] If people are in trouble and you say, ‘Help them,’ God will save them. [30] Even sinners will be rescued; they will be rescued because your hands are pure.”

/2

This morning's Bible verses and probably some thoughts afterwards:

FROM EDEN TO ETERNITY: A CHRONOLOGICAL YEAR THROUGH THE BIBLE
with Daily Grace

Before you begin reading, pause for a moment to pray that God will help you know Him more today than yesterday. As you read today’s chapters, consider these questions:

1. What attributes of God’s character are revealed in the passage?

Consider places where the text directly states the character of God, as well as how His character is revealed through His words and actions.

2. How does the passage point to Jesus?

Consider how the passage reveals the problem of sin and the forgiveness of sins offered through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. What do I learn about myself in light of who God is?

3. How should the truth of this passage change me?

Consider how you fall short of God’s character, how the text reveals your sin nature, and what it says about your new identity in Christ.

Consider how you might pray for God to change your heart or what practical steps you can take toward cultivating habits of holiness.

4. How do the events of today's reading help you better understand the grand narrative of Scripture?

/1 JOB 7

Job 7:1-21 NLT
[1] “Is not all human life a struggle? Our lives are like that of a hired hand, [2] like a worker who longs for the shade, like a servant waiting to be paid. [3] I, too, have been assigned months of futility, long and weary nights of misery. [4] Lying in bed, I think, ‘When will it be morning?’ But the night drags on, and I toss till dawn. [5] My body is covered with maggots and scabs. My skin breaks open, oozing with pus.

JOB CRIES OUT TO GOD

[6] “My days fly faster than a weaver’s shuttle. They end without hope. [7] O God, remember that my life is but a breath, and I will never again feel happiness. [8] You see me now, but not for long. You will look for me, but I will be gone. [9] Just as a cloud dissipates and vanishes, those who die will not come back. [10] They are gone forever from their home— never to be seen again. [11] “I cannot keep from speaking. I must express my anguish. My bitter soul must complain. [12] Am I a sea monster or a dragon that you must place me under guard? [13] I think, ‘My bed will comfort me, and sleep will ease my misery,’ [14] but then you shatter me with dreams and terrify me with visions. [15] I would rather be strangled— rather die than suffer like this. [16] I hate my life and don’t want to go on living. Oh, leave me alone for my few remaining days. [17] “What are people, that you should make so much of us, that you should think of us so often? [18] For you examine us every morning and test us every moment. [19] Why won’t you leave me alone, at least long enough for me to swallow! [20] If I have sinned, what have I done to you, O watcher of all humanity? Why make me your target? Am I a burden to you? [21] Why not just forgive my sin and take away my guilt? For soon I will lie down in the dust and die. When you look for me, I will be gone."

I've had an interesting phenomenon happen with my older friends lately. They'll invite me to dinner, or offer to bring lunch, and I'll pass saying I'm more comfortable sticking to my own home-cooked keto-carnivore stuff. Zero seed oils, minimal added sugar, lower carbs. That, and I'm still unsteady on my feet, and (TMI alert), navigating to the restroom through a crowded restaurant 10x in a visit has no appeal for me.

Their response? "Oh, you're still trying to do the healthy thing? Figured you'd quit that after the stroke since it didn't work."

😳 Wut?

Are they suggesting that the keto-carnivore lifestyle contributed to the stroke?

If anything, I feel it made the stroke less debilitating. I can't prove that anymore than my neurologist telling me there's a likelihood of another one in the next two years will occur, but I trust his expertise. And I trust God's path for my life more.

It's probably not a great analogy, but the way people and their thought processes work is truly odd.

Just because I had a stroke doesn't mean my attempts at healthy eating failed.

Just because I read the Bible every day doesn't mean I don't sin or fail at being more like Jesus.

The point is, every day I stick to eating healthy and strengthening my relationship to the Lord by reading his Word.

Setbacks happen. Sometimes through our own missteps, sometimes not.

The point is, to quote an old saying, if you fall off the horse, it's important you get right back in the saddle.

Am I making sense here?

I hope I am.

And speaking of falling off the horse, I'm not entirely pleased with the new Bible study I started yesterday. It wasn't the chronological reading plan I was looking for. It was probably a great way to incorporate OT with NT and a Psalm or Proverb every day, allowing one to look at the ENTIRE Bible through the lens of Jesus, but it wasn't chronological.

So, back to the drawing board. Starting a new chronological one today (but with Day 2, since we already read the Genesis verses of Creation yesterday).

Fell off the horse, getting back in the saddle with a new horse today. 😉

/1 A YEAR IN THE BIBLE
WITH DAILY GRACE

Day 2

Before you begin reading, pause for a moment to pray that God will help you know Him more today than yesterday. As you read today’s chapters, consider these questions:

1. What attributes of God’s character are revealed in the passage?

Consider places where the text directly states the character of God, as well as how His character is revealed through His words and actions.

2. How does the passage point to Jesus?

Consider how the passage reveals the problem of sin and the forgiveness of sins offered through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. What do I learn about myself in light of who God is?

3. How should the truth of this passage change me?

Consider how you fall short of God’s character, how the text reveals your sin nature, and what it says about your new identity in Christ.

Consider how you might pray for God to change your heart or what practical steps you can take toward cultivating habits of holiness.

4. How do the events of today's reading help you better understand the grand narrative of Scripture?

/2

I've been finding myself itching to move on from the current Bible in a Year devotional.

I've done this same Bible study for 4-5 years now, always learning something new or relevant to my life within the familiar devotional. What I didn't expect was to be solely reading the devotional after posting my own thoughts. I had stopped reading the Bible itself. I felt the routine of reading the devotional was giving me the gist of the Word of God.

So today, not June 1, I'm taking the plunge back into daily Bible reading with a chronological reading plan. I'm no longer going to be content with someone else's interpretation or understanding of the scripture.

Of course, the previous Bible study helped get me to the current desire for my own understanding and interpretation, and for that, I'm thankful.

But today begins a new journey. No middleman. Just God and I, with His Word leading me to a better understanding of his character and will for my life, through the second person of the Trinity, Jesus', ultimate sacrifice for us.

Speaking of sacrifice, today, Memorial Day, we honor those who fought hard for our country's freedom. Take a moment to remember them, and in prayer, thank the Lord also for his ultimate sacrifice for our freedom.

/1 To be clear, this Bible reading will be both Testaments each day, chronicling the Old and the New, concurrently as they happened. There will be a *lot* of scripture each day.

/2

I am up to *here* with videos of emotionally unhinged people and their latest rants about politics, criminal activity support, and all matters in between.

But Jesus specifically said "love your neighbor" (Matthew 22:39, Mark 12:31 NLT), so even though I'm fed up with all of the selfish anger in the world, the best way I know how to "love them" is to pray for them, that they will someday find salvation and learn the truth about our Lord.

Praying for their change of heart, sharing the gospel, and relating my own testimony about the Lord *is* "loving my neighbor."

It's probably the most compassionate way I know how to love people seemingly devoid of love.

/1 HOW TO FINISH WELL
by Nicky Gumbel

(Mush note: I've been doing this same Bible in a Year study for the last few years, always learning something new about the Bible and myself and my faith, then sharing it with my X followers for at least the last 3 years. But after prayer, I believe it might be time for a change, so at the inspiration of a friend, starting June 1, I will be starting a different kind of Bible In A Year study. It will be chronological event Bible reading, and I'm excited not only to switch things up, but to share it with you all. Okay, on to the usual Bible study:)

You can finish well. You may have had a bad start in life. You may have messed up along the way. You may have made mistakes. You may have regrets. But you can *finish well*, and that is what matters most. Some *start* well but fall.

In the recession, many of the companies that business consultant Jim Collins had profiled in his international bestseller, "Good to Great," fell. Even the "mightiest" of companies can fall. In his most recent book, "How the Mighty Fall", he examines the path towards doom. The first stage of the process begins with "hubris born of success". As with Saul in the Old Testament passage for today, it is pride and arrogance (1 Samuel 15:23) that begins the process by which the mighty fall. Saul started well but did not finish well. It is more important to finish well than to start well. In the New Testament, Saul (of Tarsus) started off very badly (as a persecutor of Jesus), but he finished well (as the great apostle, Paul). Jesus, as always, shows us the way. His life was relatively short. He died in his early thirties, yet he finished well. He "completed the work the Father gave him to do" (John 17:4).

This is my ambition in life. I want to complete the work God has given me to do. How can we all make sure we finish well?

/2

I posted yesterday about one of my favorite *concept* albums from a few years back called *The Heroin Diaries*.

It was my favorite album for a time because of the honest vulnerability found within the lyrics of a man searching for truth amongst the hedonistic trappings of his life.

One of the song's lyrics seemed to be a last-ditch effort to tackle the question of faith and God after at least one near death overdose.

The search leads the songwriter/drug user to the precipice of God's truth, but never quite reaching or understanding the answer. Again, the trappings of this life are too strong for him to abandon, let alone acknowledge or embrace the existence and essential need of a savior.

The songwriter is the modern-day, rock-and-roll version of the parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15 in the Bible, but without the admission of the need to come home to forgiveness of his Father for the life he has been leading.

Instead, he is more like the rich young man seeking answers in Matthew 19:21-24:

[21] Jesus told him, “If you want to be perfect, go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
[22] But when the young man heard this, he went away sad, for he had many possessions.
[23] Then Jesus said to his disciples, “I tell you the truth, it is very hard for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
[24] I’ll say it again—it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!”

I, too, was a lifetime prodigal daughter, and these last few years, I have been immersed in the forgiveness of the Father for a lifetime of pleasure seeking and squandering of His *gifts*. I am living proof of the Lord's grace and mercy and forgiveness.

We have a choice to make: follow our whims and desires in this life, or follow the Lord, for our true pleasure and treasure is waiting for us in heaven.

It's true what the old adage says: it's never too late for a dog (or Kat) to learn new tricks. It's worth it to change the trajectory of your life.

/1 TAKE TIME TO CELEBRATE
by Nicky Gumbel

"A glimpse of heaven" is how one twenty-seven-year-old woman described her experience at our annual church holiday (Focus). She also spoke about the year she missed it in order to go on an exotic holiday: each day, she could only think of how she longed to be at Focus. Focus is the time when [our whole church] community comes together in a festival of celebration, worship, thanksgiving, and praise. We often experience a great outpouring of the Holy Spirit. It is a time of spiritual growth when we listen to visionary and practical teaching from the Bible on how to live our lives. It is a time of laughter and fun as we meet together for a week-long party: playing, picnicking, singing and dancing. We make new friends as well as having a great holiday. It really is "a glimpse of heaven". It takes time, but celebration is an important part of life.

/2

I've learned firsthand the difference between a *panic* blessing & a *praise* blessing.

A *panic* blessing is thinking *you* prayed God's blessing into existence, fretting about a specific need, & being relieved when it happens in the nick of time.

A *praise* blessing is something you pray to the Lord about, w/ friends & family, then releasing it into God's care. But rather than fretting, you praise him in the waiting, assured He'll take care of this need according to His will.

I started this recovery journey fully clothed in anxiety, wondering how I was going to get through the various hardships. I prayed & prayed, woe is me, and God brought the blessings *in the last moments*. "Whew," I thought, "that's a relief."

But then you look back on all the times God *rescued* you before, or provided for you at what seemed like the last minute, and you realize God’s timing is *His* timing: perfect every time & always in line w/ His will.

So when I continued on my recovery and my truck blew a head gasket, I had an opportunity to not panic, to wait on God's timing & blessing, & I praised him in the waiting. (I heard somebody say once, while you're waiting for a door to open, you praise the Lord in the hallway.) And that's what I did.

That doesn't necessarily mean I sat back & did nothing. I figured my truck breaking down was a blessing in the timing since I wasn't driving anyway. I was thankful it didn't blank out on me while I was in the thick of deliveries.

But I got to work, researching & getting estimates on the cost. The results were staggering: $6,000, parts & labor, mostly billable hours.

But I waited. I didn't panic. I knew God would handle this situation, so I *praised Him in the hallway."

About a week goes by, & my neighbor says he noticed I stopped starting up my engine every morning to keep the battery alive. I told him about the head gasket situation & how I was just getting ready to sell it for a smaller, more gas efficient vehicle so when it *was* time to drive again, I'd be ready. He said, "Well, you if you're gonna sell it anyway, why don't you let me loan you the money & you can pay me back once you sell it. I'm in no hurry." I was floored. I was also cautious. Was this a blessing, or was the devil trying to trip me up with a trick disguised as a blessing?

I thanked my neighbor & said I'd pray about his offer, but that I wasn't going to rush into anything.

One of the people I consulted for an estimate for the head gasket was my ex, who was surprised when his mechanic came back with the same result: $6,000. But his mechanic offered an alternate solution: maybe an engine from a totaled vehicle at a pick a part yard? That might be cheaper. So the hunt began.

And my ex said while the neighbor's offer was generous, he wanted me to be careful of that kind of debt between friends. He said it would be fine if it was "only $2,500 or something, but $6,000 was a lot," I agreed, & his comment stayed in the back of my mind.

/1 So last week, I was on my evening PT walk in the neighborhood, & for some reason, I decided to walk a different route. As I was nearing home, a neighbor I hadn't seen for awhile pulled over to talk. I shared that I'd had a stroke, then it hit me: this guy is a mechanic. His entire life was car engines (Think Marisa Tomei's character in My Cousin Vinny). So I told him my truck's problem and asked if he'd mind getting me an estimate. Not a problem.

Five days & a lot of research later, he came back w/ great news: "I can do it for $2,500."

"$2,500? That's it?"

"Yeah, I'll do the job in my driveway, - no overhead - & I'll have it done in a couple of weeks. Oh, and my best friend is the finance guy at Toyota. He can help w/the purchase of your next car, if you'd like to talk to him."

👀

So my neighbor starts on the truck next week. And my other neighbor, the one writing the check, has offered to go with me to hear the diagnostics of the problem, so I don't misunderstand things. Hes also a car guy, but more like a hobby.

Now THAT'S what I call a *praise* blessing.

/2

I'm determined to be more mindful about hydrating today. And naturally, the algorithm put an advertisement re headaches in relation to the tissue around the brain (according to this doctor, the brain itself has no nerve endings, but the tissue does, and headaches can be caused by the tissue contracting too tightly or expanding too loosely...hydration is key, essentially). I'm naturally more curious about my brain now. What makes it tick? Even though I'm no neurosurgeon, I am an amateur with a ton of curiosity that needs satisfying.

Excuse me while I go fill up my BPA-free water bottle.

/1 HOW TO FIND PEACE IN ADVERSITY
by Nicky Gumbel

For 2,000 years, followers of Jesus have faced adversity, opposition, and persecution. In many places Pippa and I have visited over the years, Christians face physical persecution. In fact, persecution of Christians around the world today is probably worse than at any time in history. We do not, at this time, face physical persecution in the West. However, as we see some of the messages that are emerging from those with their stated intention of "eradicating faith", it is clear that the aggression and vehemence of the attacks may increase. Opposition is bound to come. Those who desire "to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted" (2 Timothy 3:12).

Opposition comes both from those far away from us (the Philistines in the Old Testament passage for today) and also, sadly, sometimes from those closer to home (the Pharisees in the New Testament passage). How do you find peace in adversity?

/2

I had several blessings drop into my lap yesterday. I praise God for each of them as they were answers to prayer. Are they blessings from God? Or are they the devil's schemes meant to trip me up when I'm at my most vulnerable? I believe it's the first option, yet I'm still very cautious about these blessings and I constantly ask for guidance and confirmation in prayer. I've had enough of clearing the pathway to blaze a trail for my own desires. I want only to be on God's path now. It's the best path.

/1 KNOWING GOD AS A FATHER
by Nicky Gumbel

What is the best thing in life, bringing more joy, delight, and contentment, than anything else?

*Knowledge of God*

What were you made for?

*To know God*.

What aim should you set yourself in life?

*To know God*.

These are the questions J.I. Packer raises at the start of his influential book, *Knowing God*. Jesus said, "I am the good shepherd; I *know* my sheep and my sheep *know* me – just as the Father *knows* me and I *know* *the Father*" (John 10:14).

/2

Happy Friday, y'all!

I managed my emotions this week better than I have in the 4 months since this odyssey began. I articulated my thoughts and needs succinctly, without rambling on & on (I can tell my boss was shocked and pleased), only losing my composure once when trying to explain a procedure. He told me not to worry about it. Okay, I am no longer concerning myself with it. I've prayed about it, and I've let go of trying to control it.

I do this a lot lately. I deal with things to the best of my ability and with the resources I have, then let God handle things.

It's a great way to live stress-free.

/1 YOUR STORY HAS POWER
by Nicky Gumbel

Mark Heather’s parents split up when he was a child, and he was brought up by his alcoholic mother who beat him. When he was fourteen years old, he stood up to her and said he would not accept the beatings anymore. The next day, she took her own life. From that moment, he was placed in care and became, in his words, ‘pretty nutty really’ – getting into trouble with the police, involved in drugs, and spiralling into an increasingly self-destructive lifestyle.

Mark (now in his 30s) was invited by his girlfriend to Alpha (alpha.org) at HTB (htb.org). On the weekend away, he had a powerful encounter with God. He said, "My group leader, Toby, prayed for me, for the Holy Spirit to come – and I knew that it was happening. The experience resulted in me crying uncontrollably... I ran to the pub down the road, grabbed a beer, wandered back and sat in the darkest corner outside that I could find. After sitting quietly, a total comfort enveloped me. I felt total love. I felt part of a family, which is something that I had no way of knowing until then. Crying, I prayed for one more sign. I asked for Toby to come out the door. As I asked, Toby walked through that very door to look for me. God is real and he loves me unconditionally, and he is gentle. The Holy Spirit saved me. The Alpha Weekend helped me find him. He knew where I was, so when I got to the right place, he was waiting."

Mark’s personal story has had a powerful impact on many people’s lives. Your story may not be as dramatic as Mark’s, but *everyone* has a story. Whether you were brought up as a Christian or whether you have only been a Christian for a few hours, your story has power.

/2

It occurred to me how hard it is to fundraise for an excellent, godly cause as compared to fundraising for a personally important but worldy cause (political or legal-related, for example) can be. What stirs a person's heart strings (and purse strings)?

I thought about this today, and it seems the strength of one's spiritual (faith) life must be stronger than the pull of one's secular life or worldly point of view.

We've all seen the fundraisers for criminals (or victims of criminals) catapult into 6 figures seemingly overnight. The thing is, according to the Bible, these riches are temporary. (Luke 16:9 "Here’s the lesson: Use your worldly resources to benefit others and make friends. Then, when your possessions are gone, they will welcome you to an eternal home.) When you give from an abundance of the heart, you are storing up unknowable treasures in heaven. This kind of wealth is immeasurable. Money we give to worldly causes will disappear as quickly as they're given, and sometimes with zero results. Not saying you can *buy* your way into heaven, but the apostle Paul does instruct us to "decide in [our] heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. 'For God loves a person who gives cheerfully.'" (2 Corinthians 9:7)

Isn't it time we all started investing in eternity?

/1 ALL HE WANTS IS YOU
by Nicky Gumbel

In his book, "*All I Want Is You*", Bishop Sandy Millar describes attending a conference in California some years ago at which he saw the Spirit of God working in powerful ways. When it was over, he went for a long walk along the coast. He writes, "As I was walking, I was caught up with the excitement of all that lay ahead and the thrill of the Spirit of God. I was saying, 'Lord, I will give you anything you want… I will do anything you want me to do.'"

Sandy continues, "I can honestly claim to have only heard the Lord speak about three times in this way, but as clearly as I have ever heard him speak, he said, 'All I want is you'... It was the most humbling thing…" He can do anything he likes. But all he wants is you.

(Mush: this seems contrary to what I wrote in the intro, but part of giving yourself fully to the Lord includes giving of your God-given talents and gifts so that others may come to know God and his glory.)

/2

My own backyard had a good example of how the devil works in our lives. He lurks, waiting to cause havoc the minute we aren't paying attention.

It's best to shoo him away (pray for the Holy Spirit to help you), avoiding any nonsense the devil brings to your yard (through prayer, the Holy Spirit will give you strength and wisdom to handle situations in a godly manner any time you ask).

/1 IT'S POSSIBLE WITH GOD
by Nicky Gumbel

I was eighteen years old when I first encountered Jesus. I remember distinctly a conversation I had with a Christian leader shortly afterwards. I said how glad I was that I had not become a Christian earlier, since I had been able to experience the difference between life without God and life with God. He pointed out the fallacy of this way of thinking and suggested that the sooner we experience life with God, the better. Looking back on my life now, I see the wisdom of his words. I am so grateful to God that our children can look back on their own lives and say that there has never been a time in their life when they were "without God".

Over the years, I have interviewed hundreds of people who have encountered Jesus at Alpha (alpha dot org). They contrast their life *without* God and their life *with* *God*. There is a sense of great joy and relief, and often regret that they did not begin their life *with God* earlier. You are created to live in a relationship with God. Without that, life will never really make sense. Being *with* God is even more important than what you do *for* God. With God, everything is possible.

/2

Mother's Day. It almost passed me by.

I didn't realize how many of my social cues and reminders came from advertising & marketing. But regardless, I'm thankful for my mom in heaven today for giving me life and for the Lord sustaining it.

*lifts a coffee cup*

Here's to you, Mom. Thank you for teaching me the value of hard work, and the stick-to-it-iveness to complete what you started.

/1
ENDLESS ENRRGY, BOUNDLESS STRENGTH
by Nicky Gumbel

We often tell the story of when Pastor John Wimber first visited our church. We saw a remarkable outpouring of the Holy Spirit and several healings. One incident, which occurred on the second night, is indelibly printed in my memory. One of our closest friends was eight months pregnant at the time. The Holy Spirit came upon her with great power. She started to whirl around at high speed. As she did so, she exclaimed over and over again, "I feel so *strong*!" A few weeks later, she gave birth to a son who, from his earliest days, showed not only spiritual and emotional strength but also extraordinary physical strength. He became an outstanding rugby player, a superb athlete, and is now a successful model. To some (like Samson, who we read about in today’s Old Testament passage), the Holy Spirit gives extraordinary physical strength. To all of us, the Holy Spirit gives spiritual strength. The apostle Paul describes God’s "incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his *mighty strength*, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead" (Ephesians 1:19–20). It was the Holy Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead (Romans 8:11a). The Holy Spirit is "his mighty strength".

That same strength now lives in *you* and "will give life to your mortal body through his Spirit, *who lives in you*" (v.11b). I love Eugene Peterson’s translation (of the Ephesians passage) where he speaks of God giving "endless energy, *boundless strength*"!

/2

Kept hearing a small meow as I was divvying up the breakfast dishes for the furry ones this morning, so I assumed it was Mimiaow being extra chatty. Turns out it is Auggie's tummy (or intestines) but he's not acting sick, so I'll just have to keep an eye on him today.

Feeling a little off myself today. A bit of vertigo. Always more concerning now than before. Guess I'll keep the other eye on myself today. Really looking forward to my new prescription glasses getting here on Saturday, and hoping that helps my eye issues.

Lord, watch over me as I navigate this day. Amen.

/1 HOW TO LIVE IN HIGH DEFINITION
by Nicky Gumbel

It was back in 1966 when England last won the football World Cup, yet I can still remember the moment. As children, we were watching the match on a black and white television set. We could never get a very good picture; it was always fuzzy and going into lines. We were quite happy with it since we did not know anything different. One day, we discovered all it needed was an aerial! Suddenly, we found that we could get clear and distinct pictures. Our enjoyment was transformed. Now, not only do we have color television, we can get high definition (HD). There are no fuzzy lines or distortions, and it produces a richer, bolder, more vibrant picture than ever before.

Rather than black and white, or even color, Jesus offers you high-definition life. There are two Greek words for "life". The word "bios", from which we get the word "biological" means the condition of being *alive* rather than dead – mere existence. The other word "zoe" means the full, abundant, spacious, open-hearted, richness of life that Jesus speaks about – a life of fulfillment and purpose. This is life in high definition. (Mush: I have a friend named Zoe - this definition has forever changed how I look at her because she definitely lives in HD.)

/2

Thankful for do-overs & the spirit of forgiveness today. And the wisdom of waiting instead of impulsiveness. Not that I have that trait locked in, yet, but with practice, I can see the difference a day or two's contemplation and rest can do. As my pastor said Sunday, let God do God. Don't try myself to do God's stuff. He's already shown me my stuff. Stick to that stuff. 🙌

/1 TWELVE WAYS TO BE USEFUL TO GOD
by Nicky Gumbel

A water-bearer in India had two large pots, both hung on the ends of a pole, which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot always arrived half full. The poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water-bearer one day by the stream: "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you. I have been able to deliver only half of my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don’t get full value from your efforts." The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, and I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you’ve watered them. For two years, I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."

Thankfully, God uses cracked pots! You do not need to be perfect for God to use you. We want our lives to count for something. If you want to be useful to God, here are twelve keys:

/2

I let the dogs out into the dog run today for their morning routine. I didn't know that Shirley had snuck in the dog run in between the dogs' first run out & their follow-up foray before breakfast. Auggie ran out the second time, and came face to face with Shirley in a very confined space.

Sometimes, like Shirley, we sneak into places (or sin) we have no business meddling with, only to find ourselves trapped with a *monster* God was protecting us from. But our desire outweighs the obedience to God, temptation squashes doing the *proper* thing, and we find ourselves hissing & spitting & clawing our way out of the mess.

Thankfully, Auggie was only half-heartedly trying to catch Shirley, and I was able to distract him so she could escape. But now I see how she's getting in the dog run to begin with.

Pretty sure she learned a good lesson that the dog run is not a place for cats (except when Lunchie went out to sun himself), and she shook the experience off and came back to wait for breakfast on the proper side of the barriers like Lenny.

Let's hope the lesson sticks. (BTW, preaching to myself here this morning).

P.S. I just looked at the title of today's Bible study & let out a laugh. Perfect timing, Lord.

/1

HOW TO HANDLE CONFRONTATION
by Nicky Gumbel

Confrontation is not something that I find easy. It is a delicate operation. It is crucial to find the right approach, the right words for the job. Or, to use a golfing analogy, it is like the skill of knowing which club to use. Those who are skilled at confrontation have a great variety of approaches and words, and know when and how to use the appropriate one. Confrontation is not always the right course. Not every critic has to be confronted. Not every wrong statement needs to be refuted. I greatly admire the skill of those who know when to confront and are good at confronting in a loving way. They have learned how to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). (Mush: I have not learned to speak truth in love; I still freak out & get angry or frustrated & lash out. Hence the screaming at Auggie this morning. Too emotional.)

When confrontation is necessary, how should you go about it?

/2

Kind of hit another milestone yesterday: it was the first time I had a conversation without breaking down into tears over something.

I felt as if my out-of-control emotions had suddenly been able to apply the brakes. It didn't hurt that I was speaking to my former pastor, who would've understood my emotional state anyway, but I kept it all in check and we had a very nice state of spiritual affairs conversation.

Big bonus: he offered to come to my house to share communion with me at the beginning of next week. If I *was* going to cry, that would have been the moment. I had felt strongly about no communion lately, and this offer was an answer to prayer.

There's something beautiful about a former pastor never ceasing to be your pastor. If y'all wouldn't mind keeping him in your prayers. 🙏 He's got his own share of medical challenges and not once have I heard him complain. A model for my own recovery, to be sure.

/1 GOD WANTS TO SURPRISE YOU
by Nicky Gumbel

At the age of eighteen, I set out to read the entire New Testament in order to disprove Christianity. As I read, I was surprised to find that I became convinced that it was true. The last thing that I wanted to do was to "become a Christian." I thought that would ruin my life and make it boring by stopping me having any fun. Yet, knowing in my heart that it was true, I felt I had no option but to say "yes" to Jesus. The moment I did so– to use the words that C.S. Lewis chose to describe his own experience of encountering Jesus – I was "surprised by joy." Ever since, Jesus has never ceased to surprise me. God is the God of surprises. Jesus constantly surprised his followers, and he wants to continue to surprise you.

/2