half human, a third bad at fractions. as seen in the movie about a guy lying about being in a movie. Writing. Talking @micchequepod
May 26, 2020 • 5 tweets • 2 min read
I know Dave Chappelle is already writing Azealia Banks material for his next special. “She said I cheated on my wife. I was furious. Everyone asked me ‘Dave, is it true? Did you do it?’ And I was gonna deny it. But she also said I have good dick. Fellas, it’s a tough one...” 😂
“My manager called and told me I needed to make a statement. I said NIGGA, I ALREADY DID! And people ask me, ‘Dave, what did your wife say?’ and I laugh. My wife looked me dead in the eye and said, ‘I know that’s not true because I’ve fucked you. And you’re not that good.” 😂
Sep 19, 2017 • 14 tweets • 3 min read
The first time we installed wifi at the house, I told my dad to switch off his mobile data because he wouldn't need it anymore. 1/2
That night, he called me from the bar asking why he's not receiving any wozzap messages and we paid for the damn wifi at home.
