Having women tell me publicly and privately when I've made them feel uncomfortable or been inappropriate when drinking led me to a horrifying realization and reckoning with the harm I'd done and the impact I had on women around me. 1/
A woman today shared her own experience where I made her feel unsafe and acted wildly inappropriately for what is in effect a work environment (at a convention bar). I am not tagging her for the privacy of the woman involved, but I am deeply humiliated and sorry. 2/
Jun 9, 2020 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
One thing I’ve been fighting to do is unlearn the toxic “misery ethic” I learned in the military - “If it ain’t rainin’, you ain’t trainin’” “Pain is weakness leaving the body.” The idea is that suffering builds character, that hurting makes you more powerful. It’s crap 1/4
There’s no evidence this is true. You absolutely need to be able to face discomfort and suffering to be successful, but seeking suffering at all times turns you into a miserable drag that nobody wants to be around. More importantly, constant suffering *distracts* you. 2/4
Dec 28, 2019 • 7 tweets • 2 min read
I have literally spent my entire life practicing, training, simulating, participating in, studying, and writing about war. My life has been, and is, monolithically violent. It’s only recently that I’ve seriously started interrogating that. Why? In 2019, this seems important. 1/7
As we work together to reform toxic masculinity, spear-carriers have to be willing to ask these questions and answer them honestly. Part of the why for me: I love my parents, but they abdicated their roles. Nobody raised me. I had to figure it out mostly for myself. 2/7
