Visibility =/= Payment. Unfortunately, capitalism doesn't accept "gratitude" or "exposure" as a form of currency. I asked.

If you study the eyes of newly discovered celebrities vs their gaze in photographs over the course of their careers, you can literally see their light dim...

I get it. Everyone saying this goes for every occupation...few occupations outside of entertainment (modeling included) consistently publicly documents a person's life as they age.

Also, money isn't always the salve you think it might be if you have to exchange your soul in the process.

"I am not the target audience for this."

8 words. 11 syllables.

More cishet white male film critics, in particular, should practice articulating these words in front of a mirror. "Target audiences" are not required to love the work, nor are non target audiences; however, dismissiveness, racist/sexist/homophobic undertones, bigoted euphemisms, lazy analysis, etc are often markers of critics who are rarely required to engage work that does not center them.

Please continue to post the profound things your therapists say so I can continue to vicariously be in therapy.

Thankyousomuch. Me, in therapy with you feeling second hand growth.

Kyrsten Sinema reminds me of eclectic white/white proximal women with multicolored hair who gentrify urban enclaves to make 6 figures heading up non profits with no intention of actually serving the communities whose oppression pays for their closet full of lululemon leggings. I could build a video game based on every character variation of 'oppressor' I've been forced to understand inside and out in my already too long life.

Late b/c I don't like to watch too much when in creation mode but my god, DARK on Netflix is one of the most cogently stunning pieces I've seen in a while from the haunting score, visceral performances, generational casting, precise composition,existentialism via sci fi. "The end is the beginning" using time travel genre as a vehicle to explore grief, the endlessness of vengeance, inevitability of death...:chief's kiss:

Now...the backlash. Your passive "thank you's" won't protect us from the active racists among you.

What else you got?

The ease with which you all ask Black women for free labor... The expectation that our labor is inherently free--that we should feel privileged just to be asked...

A lot of *how did we get here* tweets are reminding me that for our very survival, Black and Brown folks have been forced to thoroughly understand whiteness better than white* people understand whiteness. Part of privilege is not having to be aware of the intricacies of the massive monster one "benefits from".

"...racial minorities are sleeping less on average than non-Hispanic white individuals." ...these groups had worse sleep quality, such as spending more time awake...and experiencing more interruptions during the sleep period." popsugar.com/fitness/how-ra… Feeling like a walking zombie (Haitian origin) is not an imaginary state. We are sleep deprived in the very system that relies on our exhaustion for prevention of rebellion.

My brother is a cinephile/tv-phile--I do an exercise with him where I force* him to pay attention to Black women characters: their absence or presence.

Which women's lives are all* men conditioned to value in motion picture? Which women are they conditioned to see as valuable? Surprise: it's rarely women who look like black men.

Some news: I just got staffed on a series! My team closed the offer yesterday.

Starting my first writer's room on Monday. 🥴 I've dodged the idea of being in writers rooms in the past b/c I didn't want to live in LA and I couldn't risk being in a potentially toxic room with people for 10-12 hour days, 5 days a week, for months.

I was (am) hyper focused on Directing and writing my own content.

These industries don’t know what to do with darker skinned black women who have never hated their complexions. They love the narrative of “I hated myself but now realize i’m beautiful.”

A dark skinned phoenix rising from her ashes of self hatred.

The book that was a catalyst for my overactive childhood imagination that is now my overactive adult imagination: Would love to adapt some of the stories to the screen.

“I am owed at least three thousand dollars yet I cannot pay the rent. My utilities are about to fall behind because I must use the money I have to buy food […] What can I pawn quickly…?”

— Octavia Butler, journal entry, ca. July 6, 1977–May 5, 1978 "The thing that has surprised me most was really how cash poor [Octavia Butler] was..." -@AyanaAHJ

Digging into history of "invisible labor" for my script rewrite/stumbled across this: In 1881 a group of 3000 Black washerwomen shut down Atlanta fighting for ⤴️ wages. "Nearly every white household relied on a Black woman to do its laundry, the strike affected the entire city" After the 13th Amendment "ended slavery":

"Washerwomen in Atlanta largely consisted of black women with children. By 1880, 98% of Atlanta’s Black American female population were domestic workers in the home of former slave owners."

A masterclass from Kasi Lemmons today feels like balm to my soul in the madness. #SundanceDirectorsLab "Eve's Bayou was the first script I wrote alone..." Kasi says it was a very personal, autobiographical film, which was a "fantastical and allegorical look at things"

With this, her first official feature, she felt like she "proved what she had to prove."

I'm noticing a lot of white pple on twitter sharing their #COVIDー19 status+protocol for being diagnosed (which is helpful) but also wow: publicizing your sickness knowing it won't be racialized is a different kind of privilege... Sick white people are individuals to be treated for their illness(es) accordingly. Sick BIPOC are an infected monolith to be avoided at all costs.

Yesterday I asked if my film students had seen Fight Club. Everyone stared at me blankly.

Since so many of my white male students are exploring male rage in their work I didn’t want Joker to be their only cinematic reference.

The first rule of fight club: watch Fight Club. also: I felt old ah

Who is making all these "single mothers" single? We have to investigate this.

Are "single mothers" murdering the fathers of their children and burying them in a mass grave?

I am concerned.

Whatever the answer: "single mothers" are definitely to blame. No question about that.

White parents, why are you producing so many young white male terrorists? What is going on in your households? How involved are you with your sons? Are you missing signs their racism is filtering out of commonplace household racism into "I want to murder strangers" racism? Asking for humanity.