Just so we’re clear here, Florida wants to ban children from discussing their periods but also wants student athletes to report their periods, in case you were still unclear about how fucking dumb these people are. Yes I’m aware that they are also very evil, thanks reply guys.

Can we please talk about the “rape or incest exception” for abortion? First of all, abortion should be legal for any reason but let’s just dissect this so-called “exception.” In order for rape or incest to even be considered, the case has to have been reported to the police, and those who do report know how that goes. But that doesn’t even prove rape or incest. First a rape kit has to be done. And we know how quickly rape kits are reviewed.

The Kamala Harris “Bluetooth scandal” is just further evidence that it was never “but her emails,” it was always “but they’re females.” Trump literally told Russia to hack Hillary’s emails and people are criticizing Kamala for… trying to protect national security?

Banning abortions unless we’re raped is saying we don’t earn autonomy over our own bodies until a man violates it. Also important to note that it’s extremely hard to prove rape. Victims are accused of lying and that will become more common if the only way to get an abortion is if you’re raped. Also it takes time to prove rape. Time isn’t something someone who wants an abortion has a lot of.

Just so we’re all clear, critical race theory isn’t taught in elementary school but active shooter drills are. Your elementary school kid didn’t come home crying because he was taught CRT, but I would believe it if you said he came home crying because he had to participate in an active shooter drill.

Laura Loomer: I hope I get COVID.

COVID: Ok, Loomer. ICYMI

Best characters in Marvel movies who weren’t the main star. A thread. Kicking it off with my favorite. Hela (Thor: Ragnarok)

She’s the goddess of death which is more metal than all of Daenerys Targaryen’s titles combined. She makes an entrance by impaling a bunch of warriors and looks hot doing it.

“Jokes about Barron Trump are off limits! He’s just a child!” say the people who were fine with calling Obama’s children racial slurs. Jokes about Barron Trump: He’s tall! I hope he doesn’t wind up like his dad!

Jokes about the Obama girls: I won’t repeat them because most of them contain rape threats or the n-word.

Why does everything Fox News wants its viewers to be afraid of sound like a cool band? ANTIFA. Reverse Racism. BLM. Caravan of Migrants. Social Justice Warriors. Critical Race Theory. I would absolutely attend this music festival. I saw The Gay Agenda open for Jewish Space Laser back in the 80’s.

I didn’t know I needed this but now it’s all I can think about. The Fast and the Stegosaurus

We need a Disney Princess who’s going through menopause. Moanapause - Gramma Tala’s Story

I AM A GROWN REPUBLICAN CHRISTIAN MAN AND I AM UPSET THAT DISNEY WORLD HAS REMOVED RACISM AND DEPICTIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT FROM MY FAVORITE CHILDREN’S RIDES! They changed the theme of Splash Mountain, which was initially Song of the South, a movie no kids today remember and so racist that Disney locked it in the vault forever, to Princess & the Frog which introduced the first Black Disney Princess.

Between the blood in his eyes and the fly on his head, Pence was like a one-man story of Passover last night. Pharaohnavirus.

Wonder what wildly inappropriate thing Trump will say about 9/11 today. His past responses over the years will be tough to beat. Never forget that last year Trump invited the Taliban to Camp David right before the anniversary of 9/11 then canceled it because of criticism and claimed that he didn’t know they were so bad.

[Trump smacking the bag of cocaine out of Don Junior’s hand]

I said white POWER, you idiot! Sometimes I love this awful website

Store Brand Melania sounding like Gaston riling up the townspeople to go kill the Beast.

https://twitter.com/atrupar/status/1298075982595842048

Eva Brainless

This is like Mortal Kombat if everyone’s fatality was racism. Looking forward to the “but he has a black friend” replies.

If the Black Widow movie doesn’t involve her fucking Spider-Man and then eating him how is it really a Black Widow movie? The fact that there are fanboys mad at this tweet because they’re saying Spider-Man is underage but not because of the cannibalism tells you everything you need to know about them. It’s a nature joke. Imagine David Attenborough reading it.

https://twitter.com/98Simply/status/1289238170035466242

I actually just watched the Last Unicorn for the first time in years yesterday. It’s my favorite movie about a prince who wants to fuck a magic horse.

While Tucker Carlson is trending I feel like it’s a good time to remind everyone that he calls liberals snowflakes yet once did an entire segment because he was upset about a bakery that made gender neutral gingerbread people. This really happened.