Over the past decade I've helped over 300 men with problems in their love lives.

There were all very different guys, with very different issues.

But without exception, all of their struggles with women fell into one of 3 areas:

🧵 1. CONFRONTING FEAR

There is nothing more terrifying to most men than being rejected by a woman.

Whether it’s speaking to that attractive girl across the room, or expressing your needs to the woman you’ve been with for years, success with women requires vulnerability.

Between you and every new level with women, lies a fear you must confront and overcome.

High-trust relationships always require some degree of vulnerability

That doesn't mean overextend yourself or neglect due diligence

But you will ultimately have to risk betrayal from someone to develop that kind of dynamic

Most are too afraid of getting burned and miss out Throughout my year in prison, I could depend on my wife for EVERYTHING

Bills and taxes paid. Kids taken care of. Visits every weekend. Money on my account when asked for, books sent. Phone always answered

We had no fights.

Basically unheard of for prisoners.

How did we do it?

10 THINGS I LEARNED IN PRISON

On Sunday I was released from Federal Prison, one year to the day that I came in.

Here are 10 things I learned during this crucible: 1. Your Opinion Doesn’t Matter

In the civilian world, everyone feels entitled to say what they want, and most people take offense when others don’t agree with them. We live in an outrage culture that thrives off of people spouting off on each other (this is basically Twitter)

In prison, this kind of behavior isn’t wise. Unless asked, you keep quiet about your opinions, and learn to tolerate others. You don’t provoke them.

Arguments turn violent frequently. If you want to be right, prepare to fight.

Just as I coach men on how to build their ideal dating life, @limitlessleila coaches women on how to discover their femininity and attract the man of their dreams.

She’s got a real graceful femininity and maturity to her perspective, and it stands out in this interview. Leila’s great at calling out the imbalance between masculine and feminine energy in women.

We get patterns ingrained in us from our families - from our parents’ relationships - and we model those unconsciously, even if they are destructive messages.

Dating / Relationship issues today are downstream of a spiritually broken culture. A product of a society that trusts nothing and has no belief in its future.

No tactic or theory is going to solve this. It may get you sex; it won't get you love. If you are looking for a wife, you need to screen for women who have resisted this rot. Not perfect women. Not even pure women.

Women who against all odds have kept the light in their soul alive. Who have kept a willingness to love, and resisted the temptations of despair.

Most sexual "incompatibility" is due to there being 3 different primary sexual styles:

a) sensory-focused sex
b) emotionally connected sex
c) fantasy / role-play sex

If you're with someone with a different style you'll probably feel "out of synch" with them

But there's hope 🧵 You can LEARN to express different styles. In fact this is a key part of actually being good in bed

The main reason people pigeon-hole themselves in one style is FEAR

Fear of focusing on their own pleasure, fear of intense emotional connection, or fear of embodying an alter-ego

I'm going to piss off most of the manosphere with this tweet

But women don't and have really never had an issue with men being "strong"

They're just tired of listening to guys who lack self-awareness, are emotionally rigid & feel entitled to a doting wife just because he works Most men are not present and completely zoned out. They make women feel NOTHING. Why should they accept a life like this? How are you exactly incentivizing them to commit to you?

You are BORING and repressed and worst of all you don't even realize it.

Rather than blame your woman for "not treating you with respect"

And waste energy arguing about it (& look like a baby)

BLAME YOURSELF

YOU are not only the who's tolerated it

YOU secretly agree with her

Otherwise you wouldn't care so much about changing her mind about you She's being unfair?

The more you complain, the more you act like a man who doesn't deserve respect (a victim)

And as we saw with Crowder, being reactive and defensive also comes not only weak but contemptible

Yet agreeing to her characterization is capitulation

What to do?

Yeah this is ugly. Is it abuse?

We don't have ANY context about the rest of their relationship to make a judgment about that.

I see a bad fight. Crowder being hateful towards his wife, because he feels unloved.

Dark but NORMAL marriage conflict.

Should not have been released.

https://twitter.com/AFStreamWatch/status/1651688352712650759

I could isolate a bad fight from 80% of marriages and it would look something like this.

Maybe Crowder is a shithead like this regularly while his wife is trying to do his best. OK, THAT is abuse.

I guess we'll see as more comes out.

But jumping to conclusions is immature.

Your long-term relationship is "boring" not because you are growing apart but because you have gotten too close.

You are afraid you might lose them, and have begun to hide who you are.

Nowhere is this more apparent than in the bedroom.

🧵 To reclaim the passion you must face this fear.

You must be more open while simultaneously less demanding. You must allow the possibility of rejection.

You must prioritize self-love & expression over validation & acceptance - take the pressure to make you whole off of her.

“I don’t feel connected to her anymore”

“It seems like she’s not interested in sex”

“All we do is fight”

Most guys see this as a relationship ending - it means you are growing apart.

This is WRONG, and let me explain to you why ->

🧵 When you have all these issues with your woman, the problem isn’t that you are growing apart.

The problem is that you are TOO CLOSE.

You are emotionally enmeshed with each other. You both want the other to behave in “exactly the right way” so you can merge perfectly.

The biggest political reform in the US needs is one you haven't heard of

It's one the founders understood well

Yet due to a strange twist of fate, it was never added to the constitution

What is this missing piece?

Article the First - fixing congressional district size

🧵 There were 10 initial amendments to the Constitution - the Bill of Rights

But 12 were actually initially proposed.

1 of the 2 that didn't pass concerned congressional pay. This was finally ratified in 1992 as the 27th Amendment

The lone holdout remains Article the 1st (A1)

"I don't like the way my woman acts"

Do you like the way YOU act?

You might be right about her issues..

But you're only focusing on them because they help you to avoid your own.

If you were satisfied with yourself, she would change - or you wouldn't have a problem leaving her The less you respect yourself, the more you will seek out the validation of a woman

You need HER to make you feel better about yourself, so you become hyper-sensitive to her emotions - her reactions about what you do

Creates a cycle of dissatisfaction & resentment on BOTH sides

A woman's need to control her man is directly correlated to the lack of love and concern she feels from him The biggest mistake men make is to accede to these demands

She gets upset, he immediately backpedals

Now he has shown he can be emotionally manipulated

But because he is REACTING, she doesn't feel more loved. She just feels more power

How toxic relationship dynamics form

My perspective on this past election and where things are headed for the United States.

🧵 In the next few weeks, like in 2020, we will once again see a clear & obvious "red wave" whittled away to a narrow blue lead. Even if this doesn't occur and republicans maintain a narrow House majority, it matters little. It will be so slim, w RINOs MAGA's agenda will be neutered

Men:

Yes, tease your girl. She loves when you mess with her & don't take her too seriously.

But if there's underlying resentment in your relationship, it's MUCH better you focus on praise.

If she doesn't feel loved she won't trust you enough to receive your comments playfully. I see this often with witty couples. Great banter in the beginning. Lots of laughs and sexual tension.

As time goes on tho it develops a flavor of passive aggressiveness. She gets more defensive, he gaslights. "I was just joking, stop taking it so seriously." Defense mechanism.

One of the simplest and most effective ways to supercharge intimacy your relationship

Or DEEPLY attract a woman you are interested in dating

Is to learn Gary Chapman's the 5 LOVE LANGUAGES

Let's dive in -> 🧵 Love languages are the ways we prefer to receive love

They go right to our heart. Even if we are being loved in other ways, if we don't receive in our own love language, it can still feel like we are not being neglected

Learning yours and your woman's is thus essential

Hate to break it to you guys

But dating apps are NOT what they were even 2 years ago

The algo is rigged against you. And most of the pretty girls have left the platforms

If this is your main strategy, you are going to get bad results. Consider these approaches instead -> 🧵 When it comes to dating, so much of where to focus depends on your personality

If you're a charismatic partier, you will do better with a different approach than a more low-key artist

The key variables are 1) playing to your inclinations/strengths, 2) getting proximity to women

HOW TO ATTRACT A WOMAN RAPIDLY

In this thread I will show you 3 simple, effective techniques ANY guy can use to get a woman interested

Nothing canned, all natural

Let's dive in 🧵 #1 HOLDING SPACE

Struggling with what to say to a girl?

Good news: you don't need to say much!

What matters isn't being clever, but that you can handle the TENSION

Going up to a girl and saying "excuse me" - waiting until you have her attention, while looking into her eyes...

A lot of guys accuse women of overreacting when they're upset because they are unable to handle the emotional tension

The result?

The woman feels uncared for. She doesn't FEEL her man PRESENT.

And so her mood intensifies. And gets directed towards him This is how negative patterns develop in relationships

The man withdraws, or pushes back against the woman. Calls her irrational. An energy drain

These accusations may be true. But they are irrelevant to the feminine.

She is not feeling your presence. She lacks trust in you.

FOR YOUNG MEN STRUGGLING WITH WOMEN

I know the advice a lot of guys, myself included, give on here tends towards the more advanced

But I remember what it’s like to be a young and clueless with girls


If I were <25 again, this is what I would do 🧵: First thing important to understand is when you are young, the game with women is VERY different than the game when you get older

Women at this age DO NOT CARE about your income and only marginally about your ambition. They do not even care that much about your masculinity (!!!)