Should I call myself gay?

Here's the problem: no matter what words I use to refer to my sexuality, I'll be misunderstood by someone. Every possible term/phrase carries baggage with one group or another. There are no good options–– And admittedly, over the past five years since I publicly came out and used the word "gay" to describe my sexuality, the ways the LGBT+ community guards the word “gay” seems to have changed.

🧵 As I understand it, God didn't intend for me to be attracted to men. Yet over the past 20 yrs, the journey of bringing my sexuality before God and asking Him how He wanted to use my brokenness has been the greatest blessing of my life. Not bcs of my brokenness, but in spite of it

How can Christians compassionately care for trans Christians?
Session Three of Equip’s Gender Incongruence Course explores the following recommendations for ministering to trans people with Gods love and wisdom: 🧵 1. Adopt a general posture of empathy and compassion - God made trans people in His image, and we must treat trans people with the dignity and respect every imago dei deserves. 2/

Did God make me gay? I recently went on the Things You Don't Hear In Church Podcast to talk about faith and sexuality. One of the questions we explored was whether God intends for people to experience same-sex attraction. 1/ Even queer secular scientists recognize that no one is born gay. We all develop our sexual orientations from a mix of genetics and relational upbringing. But even if we were born gay, that doesn't tell us about God's intentions. 2/

"Is masturbation a sin?" I get this question a LOT. You'd be surprised how many people follow me and drop this question in my DMs. Those who think they might be called to celibacy are curious (worried?) about healthy ways to follow God's wisdom. So here's my answer: Some people say they can masturbate consistently without lusting (without sinfully objectifying the image of another). I have never met anyone for whom this is the case. It's certainly not my experience. 2/

Should you treat your gay friend like someone of the opposite sex? @NaomiVacaro and I recently discussed this and other questions in a conversation about faith and sexuality. I get this question a lot. 1/ Well-intentioned friends want to love their gay friends. They take precautions to "guard the heart" of people of the opposite sex who might be attracted to them, so they wonder if they ought to take the same precautions with gay people who might be attracted to them? 2/

Good Qs to ask after someone "comes out" to you:
- Are you feeling/have you ever felt suicidal?
- Are you being/have you ever been bullied/teased?
- How have your friends responded to you?
- How have people at church responded to you?
1/ - Is there anything else you would like for me to know right now?
- Do you prefer I share with others or maintain your privacy?
Then later, once you've demonstrated safety and earned trust to ask theological questions, try starting with these:
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Please pray for wisdom & clarity for men considering the Nashville Family of Brothers. NFOB's 12-month Exploration Process is coming to an end. Men considering joining our brotherhood have met weekly to study our Community Covenant. 1/ In addition, they've met monthly with a spiritual director and a prayer team of friends+family to explore their excitement and hesitations. Plus, they've gathered with current brothers on a Spiritual Retreat to draw near to our Father. 2/

What's five ways churches can support singles?
1️⃣ Teach about vocational singleness
2️⃣ Value by hiring & making godparents
3️⃣ Celebrate commitments + kingdom work
4️⃣ Guide young adults to discern
5️⃣ Help vocational singles find family First, teach what Jesus & Paul actually had to say about a lifetime calling to celibate singleness for the sake of kingdom work w/ undivided attention. If we only ever teach about temporary singleness focused on self or casual dating, should we be surprised when few 2/

A recent study found that 39% of Gen Zers identify as LGBTQ. It probably doesn't mean that nearly 40% of kids and tens have either robust same-sex attractions, no sexual attraction, or feel strongly that they were born the wrong biological sex. centerforfaith.com/blog/disciple-… Regardless of the reasons behind these statistics, it's reasonable to note rising LGBTQ identification and guess that a majority of the next generation will identify as a sexual or gender minority in some way. Here comes the Queer Generation. 2/

A recent study found that 39% of Gen Zers identify as LGBTQ. In the past, Christian parents have defaulted to doubting the sexual identity of teens, leading to destructive results. What if instead, parents responded discipled the queer generation?
centerforfaith.com/blog/disciple-… What if instead, parents responded calmly, "So you're queer? Alright! God's not surprised, and His wisdom is still clear and very good for you!" What if instead of disputing the sexuality of kids and losing their trust, Christian parents taught their children about God's love 2/

My therapist gave me hw: be proud of the kingdom work God and I have been doing. It's difficult for me to celebrate because college pastors told me I could do nothing good. That I could only do evil. That if I appeared to do good, it was really just God (and God alone). 🧵 I was shamed when I misstepped. Accomplishments and kingdom work were minimized. And if I showed an ounce of healthy pride, I was shamed for that too. But over the past decade, trustworthy pastors like @thomasmckenzie have reminded me that I was 1st made in the image of God 2/

If not a sacrifice, why is gay celibacy so difficult?
Last week I shared that giving up gay sex/romance isn't a sacrifice. God isn't asking me to give up anything good/that I need. I want to be clear: being a gay Christian committed to a traditional sexual ethic is painful...🧵 ...& difficult for (+most faithful gay Christians). BUT that's not because God is depriving me of something I need, something good (He isn't). It's not because vocational singleness is inherently more difficult than faithful Christian marriage (it isn't). It's not because...
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Discerning brothers recently heard from Father @wesleyhill about his discernment, finding community, and kingdom work:

Wes shared about mourning the loss of the blessings of marriage (and the false promises of the idolatry of romance). 1/ @wesleyhill While Wes treasured celibacy, he recognized that setting aside marriage would mean forgoing the unique blessings of Christian marriage. He also noted the need to mourn the letting go of lies (heard in and our of churches) that we need romance, marriage, and sex to be happy. 2/

The hope for family feels less risky. On Saturday I made a three-year commitment to the Nashville Family of Brothers. I believe God is calling me to make lifetime commitments to this community, and I’m spending the next three years to seek confirmation from God.

1/ Hoping some of these men will actually become family doesn’t seem as risky anymore. It doesn’t seem so outlandish anymore that 20 years from now a house-full (or multiple house-fulls) of us will gather for holidays or ordinary Thursday nights to share meals and conversation.

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