I wrote a smut novel about A Christmas Carol, called āThe Ghost of Christmas ass!ā
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Oct 28 ā¢ 7 tweets ā¢ 2 min read
So last night, my husband and I went out, and saw a comedian at the Addison Improv. My first clue that something was off, was that everyone in there was an octogenarian, except for three women in the very front, and two other couples. My husband said it was probably dueā¦
to the fact that it was a Sunday 7:30pm show. The man in front of us was dating a much younger woman who was scantily clad, and soon his best friend arrived, also with a much younger woman. I began to feel uncomfortable. Then as the comedian was announced, there was no openerā¦
Jul 30, 2022 ā¢ 12 tweets ā¢ 2 min read
Neuroscientists have been able to detect differences in the brains of liberals and conservatives. Liberals brains are more active when it comes to empathy, and conservatives brains are more active in regards to fear. What does this mean for us? A threadā¦
It means weāre both being manipulated. Propaganda for conservatives is constructed to make them afraid for their future and perceived freedoms. By eliciting responses in their enlarged amygdala they become more radicalized toward self preservation, and viewing others as enemies.
Apr 27, 2022 ā¢ 17 tweets ā¢ 4 min read
The Johnny Depp, Amber Heard case is important. In the wake of her abuse of Johnny, the way she lied and claimed he beat her, and the way she told Johnny that no one would side with him, because he is a man, we should discuss how this damage splashed over all women.
I would like to begin with how Amberās defense team is dragging Johnny Depp for struggling with addiction, and mental illness, as if that justifies her cutting his finger off, putting cigarettes out on him, and generally abusing himā¦ absolutely detestable.
Mar 9, 2022 ā¢ 8 tweets ā¢ 2 min read
In light of yet ANOTHER republican showing he is a complete and utter fecal fucking clown, when it comes to rape, I would like to address what he said about ālay back and enjoy it.ā
Survivors of sexual assault, this thread is for you:
ITāS NOT YOUR FAULT. No matter what you wore. No matter if you fought, or froze, or screamed. No matter if they had a weapon, or just overpowered you. No matter if you didnāt cover your drink. No matter if you drank. No matter if he was your boss. No matter if you were underage.
Mar 6, 2022 ā¢ 7 tweets ā¢ 2 min read
I have too much on my plate to be in a flame war when Iām literally just trying to explain that someone is a good person, against someone who doesnāt know him. Blaire Iām sorry I said your parody was stale. It was reactive of me after you insulted me.
I understand that you are stressed out. But I know my friend. Iāve seen the good he has done with his platform. Iāve seen him help literally everyone who has ever asked anything of him. From helping protect women by outing sexual predators, to helping people with disabilities,
Feb 7, 2022 ā¢ 4 tweets ā¢ 1 min read
I did everything I have to do all week, today. Why? Because part of ADHD is disregulation of executive function. So when I have motivation I MUST DO ALL THE THINGS AT ONCE. If I lose momentum, I will not accomplish anything. Just have to keep moving.
If you struggle with executive dysfunction, there are some tips that can help.
1: donāt take off your shoes, I donāt know why but shoes mean itās work time.
2: get big machines going before you tackle small jobs
3: stream a tv show and put on headphones so you can zone out.
Dec 3, 2021 ā¢ 22 tweets ā¢ 4 min read
In light of the recent Supreme Court case, where the rights of every uterus owner in the United States are on the line, I thought it was time I do one of my long winded threads so, buckle up or scroll on by.
Letās start with something that always pisses me offā¦ the question.
The question every reporter asks every republican politician ādo you support abortion rights in cases of incest, rape, or severe health issues?ā
Inevitably republican politicians tap dance to let women know that Itās not them forcing them to be pregnant, itās āgodās will.ā
Sep 14, 2021 ā¢ 16 tweets ā¢ 3 min read
Letās discuss why masturbation is demonized, and how body control morphs into religious indoctrination. While this topic applies to both flogging the bishop and pressing the devilās doorbell, it affects men and women differently today.
Iām going to start with circumcision and how it was adopted by Christian fundamentalists to prevent boys from feeling carnal pleasure through slapping the one eyed salamander. In the Victorian era both male and female circumcision were practiced on children.
Sep 14, 2021 ā¢ 5 tweets ā¢ 1 min read
If you donāt have long wavy hair youāre missing out on some pretty great experiences, like: seeing someone out of the corner of your eye in a dark room, but itās actually your hair. Feeling spiders on you, but itās just your hair. Thinking your hair is on you, but itās spiders.
And my personal unfavorite; how do I phrase thisā¦ removing hairs that have fallen off of your head, and nestled in your ass crack somehow, despite the fact that it makes NO LOGICAL FUCKING SENSE!!! IāM WEARING PANTS AND UNDERWEAR, HOW?! FUCKING HOW?! Yet here I amā¦
Sep 13, 2021 ā¢ 10 tweets ā¢ 2 min read
Texas still has a ban on the sale of female sex toys, because the men feel emasculated that they canāt please us. Luckily, itās not enforceable because itās unconstitutional. This ban was never repealed. It was introduced in the 70ās, and upheld in the 2000ās. Letās discussā¦
They banned sex toys due to āobscenityā and stated they could only be sold in the state as ācake toppersā for bachelorette parties. If you went into a sex store in texas, they would be labeled as cake toppers, and marked with a sticker that said not for internal use.
Sep 12, 2021 ā¢ 9 tweets ā¢ 4 min read
My thread about 9/11 was not to say that 9/11 wasnāt important. It was to talk about how we ignore and forget millions of deaths caused by billionaires greed, every year. Yes, I include Covid in that list, because we would have stayed shut down, if it wasnāt for their economy.
Many people pointed out how disheartening it was to watch people search desperately for family, and that reminds me of people searching desperately for loved ones after hurricane Katrina. It reminds me of parents screaming their kids names outside of schools, movies and malls.
Sep 12, 2021 ā¢ 13 tweets ā¢ 3 min read
9/11 seems like a drop in the pond compared to so many tragedies that have happened since. At the time, it was formative for millions of young children like myself. We were bequeathed disillusionment. The burden of believing everything would be ok, was lifted from our shoulders.
I was a teenager, who showed up to school late, because she wanted to finish watching āGhostbustersā and my first period was art, and my project was already done. By the time I showed up at the high school, I immediately thought there had been a shooting.
Sep 5, 2021 ā¢ 20 tweets ā¢ 4 min read
A lot of people may be confused about Texas and why the women donāt just use birth control, so Iād like to talk about my personal experience in this state to give some insight; first of all, Texas teaches abstinence only sex education. Purity culture reigns supreme.
The idea is that if you have sex as a female you are unclean and lose your worth in the eyes of male suitors, and god. Your dad may even take you to purity balls where you promise him, in a room full of other dads, not to have sex with any man until youāre married.
Aug 23, 2021 ā¢ 6 tweets ā¢ 1 min read
A troll group is incessantly attacking me, Iāve blocked a lot of them, but they are scrubbing my social media to just keep the attacks going. Theyāre miserable, honestly. At this point if you see something please report.
I have a life to deal with and I donāt need the stress.
Quite frankly, itās pathetic that they claim to be decent people, but Iām a stay at home mom of special needs kids, just trying to be friendly with people. This all started when I parodied Tony Posnaski for being a jerk, and a creep, by selling a picture of a cat.
Aug 22, 2021 ā¢ 6 tweets ā¢ 2 min read
Getting attacked for taking my kids to the water parkā¦ we wore masks when not in the water, we socially distanced, we used hand sanitizer and sunscreen, and I took every precaution I could. I promised them that if they learned how to swim I would take them, in May, before delta.
Because my kids have disabilities and trauma, 3/5th of my kids lost their mom to a brain aneurysm and were abandoned by their father, I try my best not to let them down. They need me to keep my promises as best I can. So I find a way.
Aug 22, 2021 ā¢ 5 tweets ā¢ 2 min read
I wasnāt taking sides with a groomer I was provided 0 evidence of anything. Amphetamines are treatment for ADHD, I love tiktok. You donāt like my shit, get outta my ass. ā¤ļø
See @srfn_fitness@JLVsTW1@davenewworld_2 the goal is to manipulate and twist things to make people look bad, for nefarious reasons. As you can see from the above postā¦ Iād really appreciate, if we could chat about why being bestie with toxic trolls might not be ideal.
Aug 18, 2021 ā¢ 10 tweets ā¢ 5 min read
Imagine if you will that the United States was currently experiencing a zombie apocalypse. That everyone could be safe if they were vaccinated and wore a special anti-zombie device, in case of infection. So that they couldnāt bite others. Some people canāt take the vaccineā¦
Some are scared of it, some donāt like anti-bite devices because they think itās their right to bite people if they turn. Now imagine Texas; @GregAbbott_TX makes sure he gets as vaccinated as possible, more than other people, because all he cares about is protecting himselfā¦
Aug 17, 2021 ā¢ 6 tweets ā¢ 1 min read
There is currently not a single challenger to Greg Abbott that is for a mask mandate. Texas will be stuck with this murderous twerp if we donāt find someone better. 74% of Texans do not support his mask ban. That is a huge chink in his armor, but itās not the only one.
His terrible handling of the winter crisis where he claimed everything was fine and we would never have a problem again, despite the fact that the energy companies didnāt do anything, but donate over 4 million to his campaign. Then in summer our power grid was overloaded again.
Aug 10, 2021 ā¢ 14 tweets ā¢ 3 min read
When I first joined social media I never shared about my personal life. I just told jokes and I portrayed myself as a happy, normal person and perfect mom. Then I had a pretty massive tragedy. I was struggling, and looking at everyone elseās perfect lives broke me.
When I came back, I decided I would expose myself, warts and all. In case anyone else who was struggling, just needed to see that I was a train wreck too. I promised to never pretend to be perfect again, because we all struggle and no one should feel like theyāre struggling alone
Aug 9, 2021 ā¢ 8 tweets ā¢ 2 min read
If someone hypothetically wants to sue me for talking about her drama, then I guess I canāt hypothetically talk about her drama. This person may have lied about a sexual relationship, and told me things were unsolicited, when they were part of a relationship.
This person may have been upset that the man she liked was talking to another woman, and then she worked hard to make this hypothetical man not like the other woman by claiming she was a crazy stalker. This hypothetical woman may crop screenshots to make conversations look bad.
Aug 7, 2021 ā¢ 9 tweets ā¢ 2 min read
So my husband and I spoke to our kids pediatrician. She said now that the most vulnerable of us have been vaccinated itās ok to send the kids to school with masks. Their mental health and their development was the reason we spoke to her yesterday. My kids are honestly not ok.
My husband and I have been waffling, so weāve been calling around speaking to teachers and coaches, trying to figure out how much just a few months of delay would effect them. Iāve been so stressed that I canāt even deal. I canāt think. I weigh the options constantly.