I often object to "feminism benefits men!" arguments because it needs to be enough for feminism to benefit women, but I also sometimes hesitate at them because like... patriarchy benefits men. And some men would rather have the benefits of patriarchy than the benefits of feminism Men are not stupid, they're not banging their heads against the wall of toxic masculinity because they were just Socialized That Way, men get material benefits from the subjugation of women and they don't want to give them up!

I have allowed myself the indulgence of explaining the Crown of Candy minis auction to ONE outside-the-fandom friend and so I just got to message them "the cake man I told you about went for $11,000." My predictions about the auction that came true:
1. Everything went for a LOT more money than people were expecting. The people who thought they could pick up a random Bread Soldier for $300 were predictably disappointed.
2. Calroy took highest bid (obviously)

CW weight, moms
Today I had the conversation with my mom about how I'm still losing weight and have started counting calories to try to gain the weight back. She admitted (and I knew this already from her behavior) that she thinks I look better now than at my happy weight. I want to clarify, this was not deeply hurtful to me because I simply do not value the same things aesthetically as my mother does. It means nothing to me that my mom thinks I look better slightly underweight.

Personal style is one of my passions. A few years ago I made a questionnaire to help people figure things out about how they want to dress, which I will thread here: Colors/shades I love:
Colors/shades I avoid:
Fabrics I love:
Fabrics I avoid:

The most generous possible reading of "men today aren't shit because they can't plumb" takes is that straight millennial women feel like the sad patriarchal bargain they have often struck in their relationships with men has less benefits for them than it used to. I think it also shows up in young women romanticizing having a man who pays all the bills, even though that is a precarious situation.

This is going to be a thread about what "grooming" actually is and why it's much less obvious and easy to point out than people seem to think. "Grooming" generally refers to the process that adults who sexually prey on children use to gain the trust of their victim and their families.

I am a very picky eater and have inattentive type ADHD. Sometimes this means that I get a craving for a food, attempt to acquire the food, do not pay enough attention, and end up with a food that is Wrong and that I will not eat. Today I stopped at the further-away grocery store and saw some of those Italian bakery style cookies. The oval ones where one half has sprinkles. I bought a pack. Later, when I was really excited to eat them, I realized they were jelly sandwiches.

I rarely make "I have an MSW and..." tweets but I guess this is worth it: I have an MSW and it is impossible to "trauma dump" on your THERAPIST.
Even in relationships with laypeople, "talking about your trauma a bunch" is not even what "trauma dumping" MEANS. (CW abuse, violence) "Trauma dumping" is when someone posts like "LOL my mom didn't know the difference between a booty call and a butt dial" and someone else replies, "Must be nice to have a good relationship with your mom, my mom tried to drown me in a bathtub."

I'm currently having a bummer of a healthcare experience at a Planned Parenthood. It is not anybody's fault and I am very grateful for this clinic, but I am having a bad time. (I took PTO to get to my appointment on time. It is now two hours later and I have no idea when I'll be seen. All the staff have been lovely but I am hungry and deflated.)

A lot of people take it as self-evident that incels, redpillers, and other types of lonely toxic men whose violence we fear "need to go to therapy" and I have bad news for you about the level of training most therapists have in deradicalizing someone from a hate group. I have an MSW and have lurked Incel forums for years, and I have no doubt that SOME of the guys who post on those forums could benefit from some cognitive reframing work and maybe antidepressants, but

My only spicy take on fandom/criticism/media is that fandom spaces are mostly for people who liked the thing, and they stop being fun when more than 50% of the posts are people talking about what they hated about it. Most of my takes on fandom/criticism/media are pretty milquetoast -- criticism is good, harassment is bad, you can both let people like things and let people critique things.

If you won't wear a mask in the store to protect other people from COVID-19, I had better not EVER hear you saying that a 14 year old girl should wear sleeves at school to protect her male classmates from having erections. Please let this be my tweet that goes viral

INB4 "but male suicide rates!!!"
Women attempt suicide at four times the rate of men.
Male suicide attempts are more fatal.
The reason for that is guns.
If you want to eliminate the gender suicide gap but aren't willing to talk about gun control, I cannot help you. Emma Lindsay has a great piece about this: medium.com/@emmalindsay/m…

I can't believe I have to say this, but there IS a difference between saying men with mental illness should pull themselves up by their bootstraps and noting that men with mental illness do less to actively manage their health than mentally ill women do. (And then frequently somehow blame women for their worse outcomes.)