Please read these statistics:

If a father does not go to church, even if his wife does, only 1 child in 50 will become a regular worshiper. If a father does go regularly, regardless of what the mother does, between two-thirds and three-quarters of their children will attend church as adults. If a father attends church irregularly, between half and two-thirds of their kids will attend church with some regularity as adults. If a mother does not go to church, but a father does, a minimum of two-thirds of their children will end up attending church. In contrast, if a father does not go to church, but the mother does, on average two-thirds of their children will not attend church.

Have you noticed that the western guys hardly impose LGBTQIA on Muslims? Have you noticed this whole idea of “inclusion and diversity” (the morally depraved type) is mostly imposed on Christians. They hardly try it with Muslims. Why? Because we Christians are spineless. We often do not stand by our beliefs in hard times. Christians are too diplomatic and my qualm with diplomacy in many cases is, in negotiating the truth, we end up chipping unnegotiable bits away and losing the whole truth. It’s like giving the devil a yard, he will take a mile.

When I say marry a kind man, I don’t even mean a man who’s generous with money. That’s great but I mean a man who is kind, whose conscience is alive. A man who won’t expect you to come back from a long day of work and stress to cook for him when he’s been home all day. That’s kindness. A man who won’t expect you to wake up very early in the morning, bath the kids, prepare breakfast, do home chores, still prepare for work, come back to prepare dinner, and still break the bed for his pleasure at night. That’s kindness.

Avoid regular contact with your exes when you’re in a relationship. It doesn’t matter whether the relationship ended sourly or amicably, exes should be exes. I think that love never dies: if you really loved an ex, you never stop loving them, you only decide to not pursue a relationship with them. Limit the access your exes have to you because you’re only but a deep history of the memories and feelings you shared with that person. Shun your assumed maturity because it takes just a second of weakness to sexually get involved with them, and regret it the next minute.

People have askef me if the gwo gwo ngwo song is profane, and to answer that: it isn’t a vulgar song. It is a song about an Igbo folklore cautioning us to be careful of who we follow. I grew up listening to Mike Ejeagha, because my dad will play his tapes on Saturday while we did home chores. My childhood is filled with memories of my dad’s best classics: Mike Ejeagha, Osadebe, Oliver D’Coque, Oriental Brothers, Bob Marley, Gregory Isaac, Lucky Dube, etc. These are clean, inspirational and value based songs that had lessons to be gleaned.

Nothing tests your Christianity like marriage. You think you’re patient? Marry first. You think you love God? Marry first. You think you’re a good person? Marry first. You think you’re forgiving? Marry first. You think you love like Christ? Marry first. It can be easy for outsiders to think of you as a loving, kind and Christ minded person, but only your spouse knows if indeed you are all people say you are. Often times, we find it easy to be patient and loving to outsiders than our partners.

I’m worried when Christians endorse Donald Trump as a godly man to rule America. Frankly, I like Donald Trump because he’s sociopolitically conservative, but many Christians don’t recognize the difference between political conservatism and biblical godliness. Trump might be conservative, but he’s not godly. Sociopolitical conservatism finely distinguishes itself from biblical conservatism, but what happens in most cases is that Christians unashamedly promote political conservatism as Christianity. While there might be similarities, political conservatism without godliness still suck

One of the reasons modern relationships fail is lack of making BREAKUP the last resolve. Many young people get into relationships with the quitter mindset already. It’s like they are one argument away from breakup; one fight away from calling it off; one misunderstanding away from annulling the relationship this pattern is lack of commitment. Ugly truth. There are extremities where people should leave — in cases of blatant and chronic abuse. However, that’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about the mental lethargy young people have towards the reality of making relationships work. It’s akin to wanting to drop out from school at every point of struggle. It just doesn’t show dedication. I think that we don’t understand the potency of commitment until it’s difficult to stay committed. That’s commitment.

A guy spoke to my wife and I, and told us about how a girl in his uni here in London, who expressed her displeasure a day after he touched her elbow. He was shocked because he innocently touches people when talking passionately, and this said girl ‘made a big deal out of it.’ It wasn’t a sexual touch from what I gathered from him, but it was just unfathomable to him. I advised him to be thankful that she communicated her displeasure, instead of reporting him without clarification, for sexual harassment.

Women with a sexually explorative past are not ‘damaged goods’ like alpha male fools have strongly propagated. I uphold conservative ideals regarding sexual liberty, but if a woman lived a sexually reckless life and turns a new leaf, she should never be taunted with it. The constant commodification and dehumanization of women by the alpha male camp is irking. I recognize the biological reality of women, but women in their 30’s with a sexually active past should never be described as LEFT OVERS. Such language is horrendously inhumane.

“Why are you bragging about your children being British when there’s racism in the UK…”

There’s racism in the UK, but the racism in the UK isn’t worse than the tribalism in Nigeria. When the police in Abuja dealt with me, they said “you guys are igbos, we will deal with you.”

It’s better that a stranger discriminates against me than my own people. So, racism over Nigerian tribalism. Thanks. “Is that why you married her? For papers?”

Whatever you think about me is true, and if it’s easy to marry for papers, do it. Marry for papers. There’s no law against it. That line is stale. True love is only when two miserable Nigerians marry, anything else is scam. No qualms.

My Uber driver yesterday was a 42 year old Pakistani Nigerian who lives here in London. He got married at 19, currently has 13 kids—8 girls and 5 boys, and his 37 old wife is still pregnant as they desire to have 20 kids. My wife and I were curious to know his inspirations. He got married at 19, because he would rather have a family, than frolicking around with multiple women. He’s never smoked, clubbed, womanized, or taken alcohol, and chose marriage to curtail potential proclivities as a young boy in London.

Happy children’s day to everyone in a long talking stage without a definition. Happy children’s day to men who date beautiful but badly mannered women. Why? Just because of bum bum. Happy children’s day.

Singles are scared of getting married and falling out of love.

The thing is, the love that motivates you to marry is not the love you need to stay married. The kind of love we must experience before marriage is hugely emotional, but after you say your vows and move in together, you’ll need much more than romantic love to stay married. What I feel for my wife now is very different from what I felt for her 1 month before marriage. Love evolves because even your partner will never stay the same. Every season unravels a different part of them. (Un)Fortunately, you don’t know who a person really is until marriage.

When we were still dating, my wife asked for my permission to go out with a long time secondary school male classmate, “Will you feel comfortable if I go out with him?” Another instance was when her prospective housemate was going to be a man. Asking for PERMISSION in marriage is common practice; it’s a show of respect and courtesy. The both times my wife asked for permission, I approved. Permission simply means consent/green-light. and it doesn’t have to be autocratic. If we are predicating everything in marriage on the foundation that men should love their wives like Christ, then this should be easy.

Cooking for a man isn’t just cooking. It’s not just a basic skill. To men, it is a stamp of care; it is the easiest feminine urge that most women have—to feed the people they love.

So when a woman is saying “I can’t cook for a man” “I can’t wake up to cook for my husband…”

A man is hearing “She doesn’t love me enough to nurture my primary needs.” The underlying problem isn’t cooking, it’s the virtue that compels a woman to cook for her man. It’s the ‘ignored boy’ in every man who desires food & sex. A man feels important that his woman remembers his meal-time and is thoughtful enough to plan or make something on the spot

I met my wife over the phone in March 2022. We spoke for hours that night, and a week after, I told her that I liked her and would want to pursue marriage. We started dating in June, I proposed on our one year dating anniversary, and got married in January of 2023( 6 months later).

When a man is ready, he moves intentionally. Nothing stops a man who’s ready! He communicates with clarity and intentionality. A husband is never comfortable being a boyfriend for long. He wants to move mountains to stamp matrimonial status on your relationship with him.

When I told my dad that I had found a wife. He said to me: “Remember, you’ll never get 100% in anybody. If they can offer you 60%, take it. You guys can work on 20% to push it to 80%, and you use love and tolerance to cover the remaining 20%.” This means that religiously sticking to getting all you want is foolish. Find a partner that has strong fundamentals and is open to evolving in the right direction. Marriage is a forever of learning together & your expectations shouldn’t require ultimate perfection at the start.

Because I hate using canned tomatoes. Every two to four weeks, I mass produce the tomato paste we use to cook. So time consuming, and then I remember that I rather waste time on this than buy can tomatoes that I find disgusting and unhealthy. I casually shared this. I thought it was common knowledge. It’s just the tomatoes, add some bell peppers for more flavor and redness, add garlic, ginger, onions. Then I grill it in the oven to get the smoky feel a bit. Then blend everything together and boil away the water. Pack it and store in the refrigerator. Use when you want to!

It’s simple.

Months into marriage, I felt that marriage was hard and that it slowed me down. Planning a wedding, moving to and settling in a new country, and being a first-time husband — it’s hard. A friend corroborated that getting married slowed him down at first.

An important thread Slow down here means a sense of responsibility that makes you less passionate about anything that isn’t focal to your family. After marriage, I felt I was disconnecting from some things I love. My phone and social media time drastically reduced, and my time on the guitar too.

My first school fees was paid by my pastor, back in RCCG. He gave me clothes, shoes and essentials. He bought my friend his first camera as a photographer. He set up countless youths. And he wasn’t super rich. He was a middle-class earner.

Pastors/churches have done more than people appreciate. Despite the peculiar flaws of the church, I received more financial support from church than from Nigeria as a state. I met my sponsor in church while serving as a zonal youth leader. He loved my zest, fervency and brilliance, and offered to sponsor me in school.