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Jenny Lawson Profile picture
Jenny Lawson
@TheBloggess
NYT bestselling writer. Proprietress of @nowherebookshop. Weirdo. (she/her)
Apr 21, 2020 • 21 tweets • 8 min read
Okay, I am not a museum but so many ppl have tagged me in this amazing thread that I think I’m going to have to a tour of the #CreepiestObjectsinmyhouse. Ready? 1. Fiji mermaid.
Mar 25, 2020 • 6 tweets • 1 min read
I need to vent. Feel free to ignore if you need too. It’s long... ...I think some ppl don’t realize the lengths you should go through to keep others well. My sister is still very sick, but better each day. She’s not gasping for breath now and that’s a big improvement. No tests available for her but treated as a coronavirus case....
Sep 21, 2019 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
1/4 1am tweet I’ll probably regret later. Today I went to the dr to get a steroid shot for a sore throat & she has me try a CBD oral spray for anxiety. Two hours later I’m eating (cold) lo mein and the side of my tongue suddenly feels like I burned it. 2/4 Out of nowhere there’s a giant black spot on my tongue like a goddam ancient pirate warning. 6 hours later it’s turning red in the center, like a blood blister under the skin. Wtf.
Jul 9, 2019 • 8 tweets • 3 min read
Short ranty thread: This? This is a massive problem that @Amazon needs to address: nytimes.com/2019/06/23/tec… In addition to fake book issue, some books that look to the uninitiated like they are mine are actually "summary books". This book is somehow linked to my ratings so it looks like it has thousands of positive reviews. The summary book? Is more expensive than my book.
May 25, 2019 • 10 tweets • 2 min read
Y’all. I don’t even have the words for what just happened. I came home from the shrink. Feeling a bit exhausted. Victor tells me there’s something for me in my office. I assume it’s cat hork since no one else in the house can clean up vomit without vomiting themselves.
Mar 17, 2019 • 37 tweets • 6 min read
Do you want to hear a ghost story? So. I’ve been all over the world looking for ghosts. I stay at haunted hotels and do ghost hunts and lurk thru cemeteries at night. In all that time I’ve only seen one real ghost. This is that story.
Dec 12, 2018 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
Tell me it’s all worth it in the end. Thank you for talking me through the dark last night. Depression & anxiety are such a cunning liars. It’s so easy to fall into the terrible parts of your mind after the house goes silent.
Dec 4, 2018 • 9 tweets • 2 min read
Did you know that if you have a central vacuum in your house you have to empty the tank? BECAUSE I DIDN'T. Related: My house was just on fire.
Aug 1, 2018 • 34 tweets • 8 min read
Y’all. I’m about to tell you a story that might end with me being murdered by monsters so, trigger warning because I JUST FOUND A SECRET ROOM IN MY HOUSE. We’ve lived here 5 years and Hailey has always complIned about hearing footsteps above her at night and I explained it’s probably just raccoons on the roof bc she’s on the second floor and nothing is above her...