a future teacher somehow. ask me about my spreadsheets. let's go, jews! 🏳️🌈 (she/her)
2 added to My Authors
May 3 • 44 tweets • 12 min read
ok nobody asked but here's my met gala outfit thread
the cool couple who just got married and your mum thinks it's not appropriate that the bride wore a sleeveless dress in front of the rabbi under the chuppah
Apr 19 • 14 tweets • 2 min read
a man and a woman from Shevet Levi have a baby boy.
these are the humble beginnings of Moshe Rabbeinu - no names, no pomp and circumstance. this baby boy, like all others of the time, is destined for a swift and horrific death. he’s to be murdered before his life can begin. 1/14
but this is moshe. moshe is different.
in the opening sequences of his life, there’s a milah mancha, a recurring word: ראה, which means ‘see’. moshe’s mother sees that he is good. miriam sees him float down the Nile. bat pharaoh sees his basket drift toward her. 2/14
Apr 19 • 23 tweets • 6 min read
how id use the new emojis as a jew: a thread
when u experience ur first shabbes in jerusalem and ur aircon turned off and u can’t turn it back on
Apr 6 • 14 tweets • 3 min read
i went on tour in the tenement museum. it was the tour guides second day working there. she taught us about two jewish families, and the 1902 meat riots. one family’s husband was a garment maker, the other a butcher. (1/12)
she explained that the families were both orthodox, and what that meant to them as new immigrants. she explained the man’s beard and his wife’s wig. she told us their english names - despite being in touch with their descendants, they don’t know what their hebrew ones were (2/12)
Apr 6 • 13 tweets • 4 min read
literally nobody asked but here are my grammy red carpet takes:
lady gaga looks like a black and white cookie
they both look like they stole their dads’ jacket off the back of his chair while he dozed off at shabbos lunch and played dress up
Apr 5 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
remember when madonna and other celebrities were into kabbalah for a hot sec in the early 2000s and we just,,,, let them do that? like they paid thousands of dollars to wear a red string on their wrists, did they know they can get that shit for like 5 shek by the kotel?
if ur gonna appropriate judiasm u also have to appropriate the stereotypes and be cheap
Apr 5 • 14 tweets • 1 min read
*tips my hat toward the doorpost* m'zuzah
*tips my hat towards a big basket with two different types of foods in it* m'shloach m'not
Jan 12 • 13 tweets • 3 min read
tonight and tomorrows hebrew date - 11 shevat - marks my uncle moree’s seventh yarzheit. it always does catch me by surprise, how quickly time passes while we mourn and grieve the people we love. (1/13)
in this week’s parsha, parshat beshalach, the israelites stand on the shores of a roaring sea — in front of them lies certain death, and behind them the egyptians inch closer and closer. (2/13)
Dec 27, 2021 • 8 tweets • 2 min read
why yes i did choose the frog plague to present on in class so i could talk about the Giant Frog of The Nile
but also this plague is turning out to be a really great metaphor for the jewish people in egypt and i’ve learned a lot a lot from this small chunk of text
Dec 20, 2021 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
i guess i’m a tired of the whole “jews fight god behind the dumpster of a wendy’s” shtick bc how can you read the torah and not see a God so wholly and fully obsessed w the israelites who just wants to love and be in relationship with us
one of my favourite pieces of torah i’ve learned this past year is from my friend @claire_ism: God knew that being alone was bad for people, because all God knew was being alone. God created people to know them - dude doesnt wanna fight, dude wants to love and chill.
Dec 13, 2021 • 7 tweets • 1 min read
if one more person tells me that being gay is ok according to the torah because of a recently studied historical context that people didn't take into account i'm going to scream
those takes do not change the reality that is halacha or lived religious experience. it does not make me feel better when you say 'well actually its about pedophelia' or 'its about male rape' bc halacha doesn't give a shit about contemporary (secular) biblical analysis
Dec 5, 2021 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
when the chazzan decides to sing all of the long hallel tunes
when the rabbi’s dvar torah is longer than all of davening
Oct 19, 2021 • 5 tweets • 2 min read
looking at photos of myself from high school
Oct 11, 2021 • 6 tweets • 2 min read
ive just been informed it's coming out day. there are so many days now.
identifying as anything outside of the cisheteronormative frameworks that govern jewish communities can be really fucking hard and super isolating. i've been there. sometimes i'm still there (1/6)
i dont think we ever fully leave the struggle behind. but we choose our derech, we live our lives and we love ourselves as best we can.
and if you're at a place where you can't do that yet because you feel unsafe or unsure or like you couldn't possibly be LGBT+ and jewish: (2/6)
Sep 26, 2021 • 6 tweets • 2 min read
i bloody love that the last chapter (or in the very least the last 3 pesukim) of the torah reveals that it's actually just a really long love letter to moshe.
bereishit is basically just a prequel -- 'look at the great people who got us to this point' (1/5)
and then bam, shemot hits and all of a sudden it's about this new dude moshe. he puts up with a lot. but God loves him and he loves God and despite their faults he leads bnei yisrael through thick and thin (2/5)
Sep 12, 2021 • 12 tweets • 3 min read
i often debate whether or not to post more serious personal things, but decided to throw caution to the wind for this one.
i don't like going to selichot anymore. there was a while there i enjoyed it, but for the past few years i just cant bring myself to go (1/12)
it's not that i dont have things to repent for. i have a long bloody list of things i should be atoning for, of things i know i should speak to god about, but instead without fail i will stand in that room and the only thing i will think about is the fact i'm gay. (2/12)
Aug 16, 2021 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
im sick of antisemitism in medical shows so here is how i think a medical show with frum jews should be handled:
[INT. HOSP - DAY.]
Doctor approaches the patient, who is clearly an Orthodox Jew. The Jew, surprisingly, is not praying. Instead, he flicks through the TV channels.
DR: Listen to me. You need this surgery otherwise you'll die.
JEW: okay, schedule it.
JEW: schedule it, what's the issue?
DR: i thought you'd fight me on this
JEW: the fighting comes when i get my bill in the mail.
Nov 21, 2019 • 17 tweets • 2 min read
phenomenal jewish pickup lines we should all be using: a thread
wanna get a drink sometime? i was thinking a glass of wine, i know this really great chuppah we can hang out under.