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Kristi Yamaguccimane Profile picture
Kristi Yamaguccimane
@TheWapplehouse
•America’s Stepdad•@jortscenterpod•alt @wapplehouse•
Feb 24 • 12 tweets • 3 min read
Here’s mine: the day before the start of 9th grade my buddy Carl came over and we were shooting pool and every time he’d walk by I’d smell shit and finally I asked him “Carl did you step in shit?” and he was like “uhh, naw man, I didn’t…uhh I farted” and I could tell it… wasn’t a fart because you can smell the difference between human shit and a fart. One has a much earthier fragrance. But every time he’d walk by I’d smell it more and more and he just kept insisting that he farted or that maybe he’d stepped in dog shit and I could smell that…
Jan 7 • 9 tweets • 2 min read
oh my god this is the whitest shit I’ve ever seen This video has everything:

-an angry white boy named Connor
-Southern accent
-concerned white women that aren’t helping
-white wine
-some stupid shit only a drunk white guy would do
-playing old school hip hop
-an ugly vase
-a woman wearing a fur
-navy blazer with jeans
Dec 13, 2023 • 7 tweets • 2 min read
Thought he had an easy target. Didn’t realize dude rockin the sandals/jeans/ponytail/solo Bluetooth was born into the shitty internet debate. Molded by it. When Mr TikTok was out partying he was studying Usenet archives and paying for Something Awful…

This shitty premise was your opening gambit? You absolute fool. This man has battled holocaust denying foes twice his age in the darkest corners of the internet. Refreshing the page eagerly awaiting a reply, fingers hovering above the keyboard between sips of code red…
Nov 6, 2023 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
Yeah, because those children didn’t condemn Hamas so… Image They changed the wording lol Image
Sep 26, 2023 • 6 tweets • 2 min read
Guy walking to work gets stopped, body slammed on his head, suffers fractured hand, fractured skull, ruptured eardrum, concussion and TBI then gets told to shut the fuck and it’s his fault for being a dumb bastard

Department decided this force was justified, cop not charged Part 2

Guy spent 9 days in the hospital. The deputy was fired but not for this incident. Unsurprisingly lies his ass off about what happened.
Sep 13, 2023 • 8 tweets • 3 min read
“But she IS dead…(laughter)…she was a regular person. Just write ‘em a check. $11,000. She was 26 anyway. She had limited value.”

You can’t reform this.
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 This is fucking nauseating man
Sep 12, 2023 • 4 tweets • 2 min read
Can’t let today go by without posting the funniest reaction to 9/11 and that’s the list of 164 songs deemed inappropriate to play that Clear Channel sent to its radio stations


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Aug 20, 2023 • 48 tweets • 11 min read
Again, I can’t stress enough, DO NOT DRIVE THROUGH FLOOD WATERS

If you don’t lose your life you’ll at least lose your ride

🧵⬇️⬇️⬇️
Apr 13, 2023 • 4 tweets • 2 min read
Hey guess what this dipshit didn’t realize? You can’t use “Ultra” in the name of your “$35 for 6 cans” beer. A little company called Anheuser Busch is super litigious about it lol. Image 100% he’s hoping for a cease and desist so he can cry about being cancelled by Bid Light and start a GoFund me or whatever the conservative parallel economy version is
Apr 12, 2023 • 7 tweets • 3 min read
This dude bought a 2022 Ford Escape and then plastidipped the black interior to make it tan.

“Anything my hands touch needs to be tan” was his direct quote so instead of buying a tan interior he bought and did this then traded it in with 3,000 miles on it and took a huge loss. twitter.com/i/web/status/1… Image He did the WEATHER STRIPPING

Just gobbed it on with a brush

This shit is going to take forever to get off 😭 twitter.com/i/web/status/1… Image
Apr 12, 2023 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
Image I cheated
Apr 12, 2023 • 5 tweets • 1 min read
Motorcyclist survives hit and run m.facebook.com/reel/170129325…
Apr 4, 2023 • 5 tweets • 2 min read
Every morning the news would have a little color in the corner of the screen showing the “terror threat level” based on “intelligence chatter” but it turned out they were just picking a color based on what the Bush administration needed to get done politically on any given day ImageImage Everyone knew someone who had a friend whose cousin was a Fish & Wildlife deputy who’d heard via FBI bulletin there was chatter that Al-Qaeda’s gonna blow up the water tower in Burgaw, NC because it was strategically vulnerable which is why the local PD needed rocket launchers
Apr 3, 2023 • 11 tweets • 3 min read
I have so many Image Image
Mar 28, 2023 • 32 tweets • 8 min read
Yes. Tires can attack at any time and in this thread I’ll make you terrified of it happening to you.

🧵
Mar 27, 2023 • 6 tweets • 2 min read
We need a John Wick style movie where the dog avenges the death of his owner called Air Blood gonna play the wapplehouse jukebox
Mar 27, 2023 • 6 tweets • 2 min read
I gotta start a new thread of these since the other one died
Mar 27, 2023 • 5 tweets • 1 min read
“One more time!” to no one else singing is absolutely fucking killing me this woman is braver than the troops
Dec 19, 2022 • 7 tweets • 2 min read
There’s a bird nesting in the “S” of the Sony building and it’s shitting everywhere That bird needs a little 𝒢𝑜𝒹 𝐵𝓁𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝒯𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝑀𝑒𝓈𝓈 sign for its nest