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Kyle Mann Profile picture
Kyle Mann
@The_Kyle_Mann
Editor-in-chief of The Babylon Bee. Beer, baseball, board games. far too easily pleased
K.H.Grundahl Profile picture Postcards of the Hanging(s) Profile picture Cheri Stahl Profile picture Listo Lyman ( Dude/Duder/El Duderino) Profile picture Elaine Perry Profile picture 7 subscribed
Nov 13, 2022 • 11 tweets • 3 min read
In celebration of our @TheBabylonBee YouTube channel hitting 1 million subs, here are some of my favorite videos we've done: Spelling Bee Contestant Asks The Definition of “Woman”
Jul 27, 2022 • 12 tweets • 2 min read
In honor of today being the 129th day since @TheBabylonBee was banned from Twitter, here's a batch of unused headlines our writers have pitched recently.

If you don't think we're funny, wait 'til you see the headlines we DON'T publisH!

Thread: 'Pregnancy Centers Are Deceptive,' Says White Woman Calling Herself an Indian

Jill Biden Tells Breakfast Tacos She's Sorry Her Comments Made Them Hot Tamales

Baby's Last Thought As Brain Sucked Out Was 'I'm Glad Mom Is Gonna Get Promoted To Asst. Manager At The Job She Hates'
Apr 23, 2022 • 12 tweets • 3 min read
It has now been about 4 weeks since our @TheBabylonBee account was locked out. Here are some of our best posts in the last week or so, if you care to share any that tickle your fancy. Liberals Raise Concerns About Account That's Making Them Look Bad By Just Sharing Their Actual Words
babylonbee.com/news/leftists-…
Apr 19, 2022 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
If you're concerned about no masks on planes, don't worry. We're just gonna do this for 2 weeks to slow the spread of tyranny. Not wearing a mask is a small sacrifice. It's the least you can do. We're all in this together.
Apr 10, 2022 • 12 tweets • 3 min read
It has now been 3 weeks since we at @TheBabylonBee were suspended from Twitter. We're still not backing down. Here are some of our best posts since then, if you care to share and get a few eyes on them. Are You A Groomer? 9 Things To Look For
babylonbee.com/news/are-you-a…
Apr 6, 2022 • 5 tweets • 1 min read
Disney's LGBTQ push is just the natural consequence of the company's existentialist, self-centered narratives over the past 3 decades. You can draw a direct line from Ariel and Aladdin to pushing "queer stories" and "gender-nonconforming characters." Kids raised on the idea that they are "the one they've been waiting for" and that ultimate meaning is defined by the individual are ripe for preying on by radical identity politics.
Apr 3, 2022 • 13 tweets • 4 min read
It's been 14 days since our @TheBabylonBee account was suspended from Twitter. Here's a few of our biggest articles since then if you'd care to retweet any that tickle ya

Thread Jen Psaki Walks Back Claims That She Ever Worked For Biden Administration
babylonbee.com/news/jen-psaki…
Mar 20, 2022 • 13 tweets • 2 min read
It's time for another round of unused & rejected headline submissions by my talented writers at @TheBabylonBee!

Here we gooooooo Scientists Warn Nuclear War Could Have Devastating Effect On POC Representation In Netflix Films

Putin Expects Quick, Easy Victory in Kremlin March Madness Pool

Silver Alert: Confused 44-Year-Old Wanders From Home In Attempt To Rejoin NFL
Mar 6, 2022 • 10 tweets • 2 min read
If you think the headlines we publish at @TheBabylonBee aren't funny, just wait til you see what was rejected! Here's some unused pitches from my writers over the past 5 or 6 days: Betty White Mysteriously Silent On Ukraine Invasion

Blow Of Harsh Text Message Softened With Lol

Kamala Harris Reviews “The Batman”: “He's a man. Who Looks Like A Bat. Who Fights Bad Guys.”

Janitor Squeezes Fauci Into Storage Closet Between Greta Thunberg, Cindy Sheehan
Oct 18, 2021 • 6 tweets • 2 min read
This all boils down to the age-old "it's not satire if I disagree with it" argument. There isn't really a hard and fast distinction between satire and sarcasm, either: satire uses sarcasm and irony to make its point. "Satire takes a more objective posture" -- huh? Satire eviscerates foolishness. By its very nature it deconstructs and points out hypocrisy, folly, and foolishness. It can't be objective in any meaningful sense.
Oct 16, 2021 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
"The American Way" sent down the memory hole Superman is now gay, protests climate change, and hates America. You win, DC. We could never parody you this well at @TheBabylonBee
Aug 8, 2021 • 6 tweets • 2 min read
Some unpublished @TheBabylonBee submissions from this week, so you can see how much garbage we write to bring you the absolute gold you read day in and day out:

CNN Assures Female Employees They Can Rest Easy Knowing The Men Who Sexually Harass Them Have Been Vaccinated Biden Aide Hands Him Note That He Has Shredded Bit Of Constitution Still On His Chin

Cuomo Remains Governor After Enacting Strategy Of Being Democrat

Tragic Study Finds Diets Don't Work If You Don't Do Them

Biden: 'A Man Accused Of Sexual Harassment Must Resign From Office'
Aug 6, 2021 • 9 tweets • 3 min read
Just in case you thought wokeness wasn't coming for your niche hobby, a BoardGameGeek user asked gamers to stop saying "dudes on a map" (describing light wargames like Risk) because it's not inclusive to women. I replied "No" and got moderated for it.

Gatekeep your hobbies. Image It's so batshoot insane. A rando can come in and demand we stop using a term we've been using for years, and I get dinged for being "dismissive." Yeah, I think I'm allowed to be dismissive at a ridiculous request like that. I'm from California; "dudes" means everybody!
Apr 23, 2021 • 8 tweets • 4 min read
Facebook is penalizing @TheBabylonBee for "coordinating harm and promoting crime" for our satirical post MAKING FUN OF THOSE WHO RIOT. We appealed the decision but were told it was unlikely we'd receive a response. Drax the Destroyer strikes again babylonbee.com/news/facebook-…
Jan 10, 2021 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
I am calling on Apple to ban the highlighted apps, all of which could be used to incite violence. Oh music too. My bad
Jan 9, 2021 • 6 tweets • 2 min read
The left is getting better at comedy and it's making righties nervous Image A quick punchup: "People fleeing the Trump administration claim they did not see the fascism in the regime until now. You might say they're not-sees."

It's still a bad joke, but now at least the premise is only one part instead of two and the punchline is related to the premise.
Dec 16, 2020 • 12 tweets • 2 min read
We are going to run through the most prophetic Chesterton quotes on @TheBabylonBee podcast tomorrow! Send me your favorites! "The modern man in revolt has become practically useless for all purposes of revolt. By rebelling against everything he has lost his right to rebel against anything."
Oct 17, 2020 • 4 tweets • 2 min read
Facebook seems to have deleted @TheBabylonBee's post saying Senator Hirono wanted to weigh ACB against a duck for "violating our Community Standards." We requested a review but they haven't gotten back to us. ImageImageImage We finally tell a third conservative joke and they delete it. Though we stole this one.
Oct 16, 2020 • 5 tweets • 2 min read
I look forward to you also condemning The Onion for not labeling its articles as satire. Which one of these sites clearly says satire when you google it? 🤔
Sep 23, 2020 • 8 tweets • 3 min read
Libs unironically sharing the @TheBabylonBee article about NBA players wearing lace collars is pretty funny
Sep 23, 2020 • 4 tweets • 2 min read
.@snopes is running full defense for the Harris campaign Haha. "Well, see, Harris doesn't support any restrictions on abortion and supported laws allowing late-term abortion and allowing doctors to let abortion survivors die, but she didn't EXPLICITLY say the words 'up to the moment of birth' so MIXTURE."