There's often this quiet sadness I feel upon departures. The fading of autumns. The separating from loved ones. The removal of what we know and entering what we don't. The closings of holidays. The leaving of beautiful places and moments. The endings of things. That's the hard part of life:
The constant movement. The change.
But why does it hurt? It hurts because we hold onto what we know, and fear what we do not know. We find comfort and security in the familiar. But what if we didn't see it that way?

When facing an enemy, many of us focus on the enemy's "power" to harm us. Or we focus on the harm already caused by them.
What if we changed our perspective entirely. What if an enemy became nothing more than a tool? A tool meant to refine, shape, and develop us? My teacher often says, "There would have been no Bilal without Abu Jahal." And isn't that just it? Even the existence and attempted plots of shaytan himself can end up having the opposite effect, as we are pushed more towards Allah for refuge.

Beware.Shaytan comes at us in different ways depending on our state. When we are at a spiritual high,he comes at us through arrogance and self-righteousness. He tries to make us pleased with our deeds,to make us believe we are perfect,superior,that it is others who need to change We start to go on a haram police rampage. While naseeha is an crucial part of our faith, we begin to shift the focus from fixing ourselves to fixing everyone else (since we think we are already perfect).

You can continue to blame the people and the situations that have hurt you. Or you can take back your power and look through the actors. To see the Director.

Every single aspect of your life has a purpose and is by divine design. Even the parts you hate. Even the parts you try to hide from the world and yourself. Even the parts that hurt. Even the tears. The betrayal. The divorce. The loss.

You will find the purpose when you grow through this. When you allow nothing to shrink you. Or chain you. Or own you.

There's a simple, but powerful psychological principle: what you focus on grows.

To demonstrate this principle in many of my classes, I share the example of a photo with two little boys.
On the top is a picture of a little boy holding one slice of cake and beaming with joy. Just underneath that photo is another picture of a boy holding an entire cake with 13 slices, but just one slice is missing. So that boy is sad.

When you examine this scenario, you recognize that the boy who is sad actually has much more cake than the boy who is happy. How?