I've had enough of human superheroes also being mega-geniuses who are coincidentally trained in every known martial art. I want to see a superhero who's dumb as a box of rocks & has developed absolutely zero useful skills It's called representation

Daily reminder that, objectively speaking, everyone you've ever known or loved is a freaky lil ape made of sentient meat If you ever find someone else intimidating just remind yourself that they too are a freaky meat-ape who used to shit themselves constantly

I'm trying not to post about my new job much, on account of how I actually like it, but yesterday I did receive the phone call "why is my cat meowing" Like. Buddy

I think it’s very important for the people to know that both Mads Mikkelsen and his wife Hanne, are hot, It’s always nice to have something in common with your partner

Oh my god so

I highly recommend checking out the Yellow Card Scheme reports that show what side-effects people have self-reported from different covid vaccs: Menarche is the technical word for the very first time someone menstruates in their life.

So I’m not entirely sure how two people reported that the vaccine delayed its onset and one reported that it brought it on too early

Do they know the future

Walking home from a catsit where I couldn’t find the bin, so I’m jauntily dangling a poo-bag filled with dessicated cat turd as a little accessory, and thinking how hilarious it could be if someone decided to mug me at this very moment Surprise, bitch! Cat turds in your eyes! Enjoy that toxoplasmosis, sucker!

The real reason they discourage MRIs during pregnancy is because then people would realise they’re incubating nightmare demons and would be rightfully terrified I like how this one has its hand up like HELLO MOTHER DEAR I AM COMING FOR YOU

My cat just brought home a sword How did you get this through the cat flap raffy

Also are you the king of England now

Good morning today my job involves trying to find and capture a small hedgehog that is somewhere in the basement Apparently the hog is “the size of a small hand”

Why the actual fuck do men act like they’re going to die if they can’t touch strange women on the waist and lower back

https://twitter.com/badandyrox/status/1275661239998468096

Women: we hate this, it makes us uncomfortable, we don’t do this to men, here are alternatives if you don’t know any

Men:

If I see one more beleaguered girlfriend online excuse her boyfriend’s shitty behaviour because “he’s on the spectrum” I, a certified autiste, am going to go absolutely apeshit

The problem isn’t that he’s autistic! The problem is that he’s a cunt! You can be bad at reading social cues BUT STILL NOT DELIGHT IN HURTING AND DENIGRATING THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

Just learned a new thing about the platypus, this patchworked river dumbass, God’s drunken mistake, the greatest shame of the antipodes So female platypuses have two ovaries, just like humans, but only the left one actually ever develops. Always the left, always only one. Why? Who knows!

Oh my god

Jk Rowling made up a Japanese wizarding school

The name of which translates to “magic place”

But in a way that is grammatically incorrect

And she’s provided a pronunciation guide!

The pronunciation guide is wrong Clear evidence that being a t*rf rots your brain

@Tesco 1. To anyone saying “beige plasters aren’t supposed to match Caucasian skin tones!” ding dong ur wrong that is explicitly what they were designed to do. @Tesco 2. “I’m white and they don’t match MY skin tone!” yeah me neither but they’re close enough - they’re designed to be an average sort of beige that doesn’t stand out too wildly on any white person’s skin.

A big ADHD thing I have difficulty getting other people to understand is how stuff becomes “invisible” to me if I’m not actively focusing on it - especially mess/clutter, which means that if I’m not doing a Serious Deep Clean I’m very bad at keeping my environment tidy. Has anyone else ever found useful language and/or resources to explain this experience to neurotypical people? I just get a lot of “just think about what you’re doing!” and like, if I could do that then we wouldn’t even be having this conversation okay

@neiltyson The difference is that mass shootings have never inspired a single effective action to ensure that they never happen again. The equivalent would be if nobody worked on flu vaccines, or effective treatment, despite people needlessly dying from it. @neiltyson Medical errors: staff can be suspended, fired, have their licenses to practice medicine revoked. Patients or their families can sue the hospital. Staff can be re-trained, if appropriate, or punished. Policies can be made to prevent it happening again (see Harold Shipman case).

One of my many charming traits is that every time a piece of media calls a tortoiseshell or calico cat “he” I pause it to give the long and detailed lecture on cat genetics that nobody asked for All tortoishell (black/orange) and calico (black/orange/white) cats are female because they need to have two X chromosomes to express this colouring. Rare tortie/calico males have XXY chromosomes instead of the regular XY and are usually infertile.