Let’s talk about the 80/20 rule in relationships. For those of you who already know about it, this one is with a twist! And for those who don’t, let’s bring out our notebooks, shall we?

So, what is the 80/20 rule? Swipe! The 80/20 rule simply postulates that by observation, many of us have this “100% mark” that we tend to expect from our romantic partners. That is to say, we all have boxes that we typically want them to tick off in totality.

Now, because no human is perfect…

8 questions to ask your partner if you really want your relationship to grow stronger: 1. What can I be doing for you right now, that you feel you’re not getting from me at the moment?

Relationship green flags that let you know that relationship is worth keeping (Part 1): 1. There’s always room for communication, they’re always willing to talk things out and actually hear you, no matter what the issue is. Rather than start meting out silent treatment, they use their words, and the process stays healthy AT ALL TIMES. No raised voices or insults.

Love is so funny🤣🤣🤣

You’ll be having an argument with your person and it’ll be like your world has turned upside down. Your chest will just be ‘tighting’, your temperature will rise, but the moment you settle like this! All is right in the world again. Joy and bliss🥹😍 Love is so funny😆😆😆

When you messoppp and you know that your partner will rightfully correct you in (tough) love if they find out, instead of just locking up and not saying anything, you’ll still open your mouth, “Waaahhhh”

Team, “I cant keep anything from my partner.” Sio!🤣🤣🤣

Yes, this one is self sub🤭

People often say “Choose a kind partner!”

But really, what does kindness actually look like in a relationship?

If you’ve been wondering, here are some core things to keep your eyes open for: 1. They NEVER use demeaning words on you. Not playfully, and most especially not when they’re angry.

No derogatory remarks to make you feel small, stupid, or not enough. They choose their words carefully and deliberately, to express their feelings, at all times.

1. Reach out.

Talk to them about it and hear what they have to say. Pay attention because people tend to lie and make you feel like it’s all in your head, but deep down, you should be able to tell if they’re being genuine or not.

Time always reveals the truth. Do they adjust? Or do they go back to giving you mixed signals?

Sometimes, they could adjust and make you think all is well again, but after a short while, give it a week at most, it’s back to status quo.

At this point, don’t even bother again. Just move🙏🏽

How to know someone’s tired of you: They start taking forever to respond to your messages and always forget to call back.

The little things they used to do effortlessly before, suddenly turn to “Don’t you think you’re asking for too much?”

9 words of affirmation that will definitely make your partner swoon and feel secure❤️: 1. “I really love being with you, having you as my partner makes everything better.”

As we grow older and become weighed down by the burdens and realities of adulthood, it’s really important to remain in touch with our inner children.

Here are some ways I let my inner child roam free from time to time: 1. Dancing anyhowly and singing loudly, along to my favourite songs.

As long as the music makes me happy, I’m going to let go. I’m going to sway these hips and if my voice get cracked, so be it!

Moments of joys can get harder to come by as aging takes its toll. We need to… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…

Are you punishing your partner emotionally?

And by emotional punishment, I mean deliberately or arguably unintentionally causing them emotional pain for one reason or the other.

Here’s how to know if you’re guilty: 1. Emotional Withdrawal:

Whenever your partner does or says something that didn’t sit well with you, even after they’ve apologized and you can tell that they truly meant no harm, as far as you’re concerned, the best way to teach them a lesson is to withdraw affections.

Ever had a partner who blows hot one moment and cold the next?

Who’s kind and so sweet to you today, but tomorrow, you have to wonder if they even care about you at all because of how cruelly they treat you?

All righty, let’s talk! Unpredictability in relationships is a kind of control manipulation on the side of the person who’s wielding that power.

As the person on the receiving end, you’d often find yourself anxious, tiptoeing across eggshells, afraid of saying or doing one thing wrong…

Do you have those days when you have so much to do, but end up doing nothing at all because you feel so overwhelmed, demotivated, as well as discouraged by the mere thought of all the energy you’d have to put in?

That’s known as Productivity Inertia, and here’s how it works. Productivity Inertia is basically a state of “rest” or more accurately put, “immobility”, when we should instead be working on something. Rather, we’re not being productive because we can’t bring ourselves to get moving.
And we can’t bring ourselves to get moving because… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…

Things you should discuss when that relationship starts to get serious: 1. Deal breakers:

What are the things that you know you absolutely will never be able to condone? What are the things they know they won’t be able to either? Discuss these with your partner and know where you both stand.

Is your deal breaker something they can’t let go of?

How are things with your partner whenever you guys finish addressing/resolving conflicts?

Tense? Awkward? Uncomfortable.

If so, I totally get you, and this is why I want to introduce you to “After-Conflict Care”. Just as the name implies, after-conflict care (Read as ACC from hereon), is simply acts of love that you and your partner perform towards each other after conflict, in order to reassure yourselves that “just because we just fought doesn’t mean I care about you any less.”

Three important things you need for romance in Long Distance Relationships:

1. Phone with good camera.
2. Tripod stand.
3. Data. Lots of data. Yup! The truth is that you’re going be burning a whole lot of datttaaaa, because face time, calls and chats nahim go run am😉

Why?

Well, the foundation and pillar of any long distance relationship is communication. Frequent and effective communication.

They’ll ask me and I’ll say I knew I loved you when… I told you all my secrets, the deepest parts of me that I hadn’t had the courage to fully show anyone else before.

And you didn’t lie. You didn’t tell me sweet naughts like “They don’t matter, it’s ok.”

Instead, you let me know that they were heavy, but you loved me regardless.

“I would like to have steady and stable income, and not struggle to eat the way I’m struggling.”

This was what Esther said to me in January when I engaged her in a conversation.

She sounded so demotivated as she explained how she was feeling stagnant career-wise. “It feels like I’m not getting the right clients for work.”

I could feel her exhaustion from constantly trying to make thing work, but simply not being able to make any headway.

It started out as a regular conversation but for the next one hour, I found myself…

My sister wasn’t jumping fences in Bauchi, didn’t watch her fellow corp members be butchered to pieces, and barely lived to tell the story for you to be lying like this.

https://twitter.com/fkeyamo/status/1638445053491269634

I can never forget 2011 experience, it was a nightmare. My bro was serving in Yobe, big sis in Bauchi. My parents almost ran mad out of worry.

States were sending transport to pick up their indigene corpers from the north who barely made it to DSS compound for safety.

One of the hardest things a person can go through is that period when you can actually feel your friendship with someone falling apart and there appears to be nothing you can do to stop it.

The knowledge sinks into your bones, things are just no longer the same. Conversations have become so dry, they’ve gotten to the point of awkward and comfortable.

There are many words you want to say but you don’t even know to breathe them to life.

You say you love them and they say it back but you can hear the hollow in those echoes.

If you’re in a healing journey and you still find yourself having really bad days that have you questioning your progress, read this🫶🏼

First of all, those bad days are called relapses. A relapse is basically a set back from an otherwise, well-progressing course. Now the thing about relapses is that they can hit so bad and make us feel like we never truly made any progress and never will.

Consequently, these feelings can be such downers, discouraging us from having any real desire to put in any more effort towards our healing.

Secure friendship is one of the best things a person can ever experience, to be quite honest.

Friendships where you’re both very confident about how you feel about each other and the places you hold in each other’s lives.

And this doesn’t get shaken by extended periods… Of non-communication, mostly made so because life is happening and it’s stopped being as easy to keep in touch with each other, as often as before.

Rather, whenever you do talk, there are no accusations of amnesia or abandonment, just straight picking up where you left off.