If you’re a single lady who’s hoping to someday find the love they deserve, please read this: • First of all, you need to know that there’s absolutely nothing wrong in desiring love and commitment, in wanting your own person to do and share life with. I always say that when love is healthy and safe, it is one of the most soul-nourishing phenomenons anyone can ever experience. I know there are people who try to make it seem otherwise, but please, find no shame in your desires.

If you find yourself feeling uncertain about where you stand with your partner, here are 7 questions that’d give you an insight into the true state of your relationship: 1. On a scale of 1-10, how satisfied are you with your relationship?

I’ve been a relationship counsellor for three years now, and here are 15 wholesome traits I’ve noticed amongst successful couples. It gets better as you slide. 1. Resounding, frequent and genuine appreciation:

I’ve found this common in every successful relationship I’ve been privileged to witness, including mine. Successful couples are loud about how much they appreciate each other, express their gratitude frequently over the big and especially little things, and they always mean it when they say, “Thank you.”

Girlies, if you’re ready to enjoy an improved quality of life next year, here’s how to lock in to ensure success.

Y’all ready? Let’s go! 1. Start looking into opportunities that’d increase your boss babe levels. Research and ask questions. What do you need to get that promotion? What are the requirements for switching to that new field with higher pay and better benefits? How can you increase the capital for your business and guarantee expansion? In this game, knowledge is power! Go for the highest volts!

If you’d love to finally start enjoying healthy, happy relationships where you feel loved and respected, here are some standards you need to set to protect yourself: — Your relationship must be filled with love and consideration. If you find yourself having to beg for their time, attention, care and affection, then you’d choose to remove yourself from that situation.

Ways in which you can start loving yourself a little more. It gets better as you slide: 1. Spend a few minutes in front of the mirror every day, gassing yourself up. “I’m beautiful.” “I’m worthy.” “I’m good enough.” “I’m a great person!” It might sound silly, but you’d be surprised by how well it works. The mind is a muscle. You can train it to think differently. Give it enough time and you’d begin to truly see yourself in a better light.

4 years ago today, Ola and I dragged ourselves to court and signed a document binding us together for life🤭

If you asked me what being legally married for the past four years has been like, I’d say, amazing! But if you asked me on a deeper level, I’d say: Being married has been realizing that I’m more flawed than I think, it’s been a constant journey of self discovery and improvement, especially when I catch myself doing things that I know aren’t entirely fair. It’s never an easy pill to swallow, but I like that I’m able to reevaluate and do better.

My good sis, as we get older, there are just some lies from men that we should no longer be falling for. Lies like: “I have a girlfriend, but we’ve been having issues. Presently, we’re not even on speaking terms, and it’s a long distance relationship. The truth is, the relationship is as good as over. I’m just trying to move on.”

Let me tell you, that relationship is secure under lock and key. It’s not going anywhere. They’re very much together and he just finished speaking to her on video call👍🏽

Someone tweeted about how not changing your name can also give you some headache, and it just reminded me of an experience I had.

It was when I decided to finally go for NYSC. I’d registered a couple of weeks before the lockdown, which was a year before I got married.

1/ By the time lockdown was lifted and they started mobilizing again, I was too busy with wedding preparations so I simply chose to wait until I was ready. This was a couple of weeks after my wedding. I had to reactivate my profile and in doing so, I had to answer the question of “married or single” all over again.

The other day, someone made a tweet and it read, “It’s time to go back to the person you used to be before that traumatic incident happened to you. I hope you’re able to do that real soon.” I smiled upon reading those words because once upon a time, I would have rushed to type, “Amen, can’t wait!” But I now know better, and because I do, I’m aware of how impossible that wish is to come true.

If you’re someone who’s been fighting hard to “get back yourself” after surviving a traumatic incident, this read will be worthwhile. Stay with me… You see, the simple truth of the matter is there’s no going back to the person you used to be before you went through that traumatic experience. And the reason for that is just as simple as the fact itself—that person no longer exists. Yes.

It is a universal truth that trauma changes you, even to the point of altering your brain’s physiology in some cases. As such, you’ve become an entirely different person.

When I was still dating, I had a number of exes who would come back, sometimes after months or years, talking about how wrong they now realize they were and how ready they are to make things right, if only I’d give them a second chance. I often felt flattered by it, and at a point, even began to use it as bragging rights. “They always come back because they know no one would treat them better.”

Lmaoo. Now, I’m more aware of how much of a truth that was indeed—and not in a good way. You see, I rarely ever got back with any of them because I’d already moved on at that point (didn’t use to take me long at all. It might take me forever to walk away, but when I’m done, I’m done🤷🏽‍♀️). But the truth is, I often believed when they said they were ready to change. Often trusted that they were being genuine, and that if I gave them a chance, something could come out of it. Now, this part was false.

Let’s talk about the 80/20 rule in relationships. For those of you who already know about it, this one is with a twist! And for those who don’t, let’s bring out our notebooks, shall we?

So, what is the 80/20 rule? Swipe! The 80/20 rule simply postulates that by observation, many of us have this “100% mark” that we tend to expect from our romantic partners. That is to say, we all have boxes that we typically want them to tick off in totality.

Now, because no human is perfect…

8 questions to ask your partner if you really want your relationship to grow stronger: 1. What can I be doing for you right now, that you feel you’re not getting from me at the moment?

Relationship green flags that let you know that relationship is worth keeping (Part 1): 1. There’s always room for communication, they’re always willing to talk things out and actually hear you, no matter what the issue is. Rather than start meting out silent treatment, they use their words, and the process stays healthy AT ALL TIMES. No raised voices or insults.

Love is so funny🤣🤣🤣

You’ll be having an argument with your person and it’ll be like your world has turned upside down. Your chest will just be ‘tighting’, your temperature will rise, but the moment you settle like this! All is right in the world again. Joy and bliss🥹😍 Love is so funny😆😆😆

When you messoppp and you know that your partner will rightfully correct you in (tough) love if they find out, instead of just locking up and not saying anything, you’ll still open your mouth, “Waaahhhh”

Team, “I cant keep anything from my partner.” Sio!🤣🤣🤣

Yes, this one is self sub🤭

The A.V.A.R.R.C framework to apologize properly and effectively: A-Acknowledgment:

You need to first acknowledge that you did something wrong, but it doesn’t end there. You have to also state what you did wrong, one after the other.

“I said really mean words to you that should never have crossed my mind, not to mention leaving my lips.”

People often say “Choose a kind partner!”

But really, what does kindness actually look like in a relationship?

If you’ve been wondering, here are some core things to keep your eyes open for: 1. They NEVER use demeaning words on you. Not playfully, and most especially not when they’re angry.

No derogatory remarks to make you feel small, stupid, or not enough. They choose their words carefully and deliberately, to express their feelings, at all times.

1. Reach out.

Talk to them about it and hear what they have to say. Pay attention because people tend to lie and make you feel like it’s all in your head, but deep down, you should be able to tell if they’re being genuine or not.

Time always reveals the truth. Do they adjust? Or do they go back to giving you mixed signals?

Sometimes, they could adjust and make you think all is well again, but after a short while, give it a week at most, it’s back to status quo.

At this point, don’t even bother again. Just move🙏🏽

How to know someone’s tired of you: They start taking forever to respond to your messages and always forget to call back.

The little things they used to do effortlessly before, suddenly turn to “Don’t you think you’re asking for too much?”

9 words of affirmation that will definitely make your partner swoon and feel secure❤️: 1. “I really love being with you, having you as my partner makes everything better.”

As we grow older and become weighed down by the burdens and realities of adulthood, it’s really important to remain in touch with our inner children.

Here are some ways I let my inner child roam free from time to time: 1. Dancing anyhowly and singing loudly, along to my favourite songs.

As long as the music makes me happy, I’m going to let go. I’m going to sway these hips and if my voice get cracked, so be it!

Moments of joys can get harder to come by as aging takes its toll. We need to… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…