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The WordSmith ™ | The CopyWriter © | The StoryTeller ®
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Dec 28, 2023 17 tweets 3 min read
𝐂𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐚 𝐌𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐲𝐨 𝐈𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐞𝐮𝐤𝐞 𝐌𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐲𝐨. 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃. Kuna Baniani flani alikuwa amechoka kushinda ametafta new barmaids coz wale alikuwa analeta walikuwa wanatekwa kila mwezi na walevi wanaacha kazi juu ya mimba ama wanaoleka, kastama walikuwa wanakuja club kukunywa na ku scout mabibi.
Nov 26, 2022 8 tweets 5 min read
Kuna hii App iko na Netflix, Hulu, HBO Max, Prime Video, Disney+, Paramount+ na Apple TV na zote unazipata na 450 bob monthly subscription. Yaani una enjoy hizi streaming platforms zote na hiyo offer imagine.

Let me make a small Thread how. Step number one, kuwa na TV ofcos 🥲

So kama uko na TV na Android Smart TV you are safe, ingia pale Google Playstore, search "My Family Cinema" alafu itakuletea kitu kama hii picha nime post hapa chini... Download and install hiyo 👌
Nov 11, 2022 8 tweets 2 min read
Vile wasee wame enda majuu hu educate watu huku on ways vile wanaeza enda majuu wa succeed ndio nafaa sasa nianze kusumbua nayo wasee wa Shamakhokho "How to get fare to come to Nairobi and succeed" First you'll need fare, so if you're in a chamaa borrow fare to come to Nairobi and tell them you'll return with interest;

"Nisaidie elfu moja nitarudisha kama imezaana."
Nov 11, 2022 33 tweets 5 min read
Unadhani wewe ni Mtu wa Mtu wako kumbe hata yeye sio Mtu wa Mtu wake. THREAD. Rafiki alikuwa amechoka na hoe stage akaamua ku settle, akajua huwezi tarajia city girls ku settle akarudi ochs kutafta bibi kienyeji, Bibi mwenye ukileta huna wasiwasi wa kukuliwa... Alijua jogoo wa kijiji hawezi wika mjini.
Nov 10, 2022 11 tweets 7 min read
Optiven have a brand new office in Karen and they're launching it today.

With their brand new office they will be able to serve both local & International clients better.

#OptivenGoesGlobal Image By expanding their business globally it means they'll be able to provide reliable service to all their international client's.

The launch is currently ongoing at Karen.

#OptivenGoesGlobal
Jul 18, 2022 35 tweets 6 min read
Una angukia Aunty wa Harrier kumbe hana fom, fom yake ni wewe. THREAD. Rafiki alikuwa wale watu siku haiwezi pita kama haja irrigate throat, always juu ya mzinga kama nyuki. Ilikuwa routine yake akitoka job, lazima umpate behind bars ka wafungwa wa Kamiti... Angekuwa law student angekuwa na shida ya ku pass the bar.
Mar 1, 2022 25 tweets 4 min read
Bread Winner Badala Ya Kusaka Daily Bread Anasaka Yeast Infection. THREAD. Kuna time Arif alikuwa anatafta mtu wa ku Nurse his wounds ndio wa build a healthy relationship pamoja, after years of searching and being Patient enough akapata dem flani Daktari. Na si unajua sio Calendar pekee huwa na Dates, so kama Optician they started seeing each other.
Dec 30, 2021 6 tweets 9 min read
Some of the Trusted Online Plugs of 2021

Electronics Plug - @plugpoint_ke
Shoe Plug - @MwacheezyC
Phone Plug - @PhoneZoneKe
Honey Plug - @NatureDrops_
Swahili Dishes Plug - @walowe_mlolwa
Fish Plug - @thebigfishke
Chapati Plug - @chapatimistress Eye Wear - @Mike4rmRuaiKE
Laptop Repair - @Osama_otero
Phone Repair - @matohmatoh
Quality Cables - @DrKanyuira
Wings Plug - @_Mohkay
Quality iPhones & repairs @sir_ifix
Bracelet - @Martoh__
Dec 8, 2021 28 tweets 4 min read
Aliye na Subaru haambiwi Subiri. THREAD. Kuna time nilikuwa naishi kwa bro kama squatter, meaning sitting room yake ndio ilikuwa ina double up kama bedroom yangu usiku. Meaning akilala ndio nalala, aki amka na amka, akileta mgeni napigwa exile kama Miguna Miguna.
Aug 20, 2021 32 tweets 4 min read
Unadhani umeangukia dem wa Java kumbe umeangukia dem wa Jaba. THREAD. Arif alikuwa wale ninja wakienda out kukunywa inakuwanga kama family reunion juu kwa drinks zake hakuwezi kosa Four Cousins, he had a thing Four Cousins kama Kabi wa Jesus. Kazi ni kuwakunywa tu.
Jul 21, 2021 25 tweets 3 min read
Una plan ku Surprise Dem alafu ni wewe unakuwa surprised. THREAD. Nikiwa second year kuna dem wa msee tulikuwa tuna share na yeye hostel alidai nimuangalilie results zake kwa notice board, wote walikuwa wamemaliza campo so ni results na graduation walikuwa wanangoja.
Jul 20, 2021 6 tweets 1 min read
INSHA: Siku ambayo sitawai isahau maishani mwangu. Jogoo aliwika kabla ya machweo, ilikuwa ni jumatatu kwa hivyo nje kulikuwa na u-Monday.
Nika amka aste aste hadi jikoni ilimradi nipate kopo la uji, nika amkua wazazi wangu "Sijambo" wakanijibu "Jambo mno"
Jun 17, 2021 29 tweets 4 min read
Unadhani umepata dem ako na Class kumbe umepata dem bado ako Class. THREAD. Walisema the best way to tell a story ni kuanzia Introduction, work your way to reproduction and make it pregnant enough ndio iki form a Body uweze ku deliver... Let's begin.
Apr 28, 2021 25 tweets 3 min read
Una convert kuwa muislamu juu ya dem alafu mnakosana before umalize madrasa. THREAD. Arif alikuwa pedi wa makucha, kazi ilikuwa kuunda madem makucha ndio wakae poa wakienda date wanakuwa na potential ya kuwa nailed usiku kucha.
Apr 27, 2021 7 tweets 3 min read
The best investment on Earth is the Earth itself, that's why investing in land is the best decision you can ever make for you and your future generation.
A place you could build your home, retire on and not feel like you gambled with your savings.

#20YearsWithOptiven That's why I commend Optiven coz they've been helping people fulfill their dreams for 20 years.
They've been at the forefront of social economic transformation and allocating their clients with land investment.

#20YearsWithOptiven
Feb 21, 2021 28 tweets 4 min read
Unadhani ameku feature kwa relationship kumbe ameku ficha kwa relationship. THREAD. Arif alimaliza shule aka discover meaning ya long distance relationship after kuwa separated na his campus sweetheart... Dem naye alibahatika kupata job immediately after campus.
Oct 20, 2020 20 tweets 3 min read
Heri kufanya kazi kuliko mfanya kazi. THREAD Arif na bibi yake walikuwa newly weds, so damu zao zilikuwa bado moto, walikuwa wamekulana, wameshibana hadi wameanza kufanana. Alafu bibi alikuwa loyal kama vyombo chafu, hata uende wapi unapata zimekungoja.
Sep 5, 2020 29 tweets 4 min read
Ukimuona na sare ya shule usimfanye a Sare shule. THREAD. Huwa wanasema in life lazima ukuwe na side hustle ukitaka ku survive fiti, especially Nairobi. So kuna raiya alikuwa mwalimu na side hustle yake ilikuwa ku offer tuition coz bills have to be paid.
Aug 6, 2020 25 tweets 4 min read
Dem anakuliwa na kila mtu campus kama HELB loan. THREAD. Campus relationship mingi huanzia kwa dancefloor siku ya dunda, mnajuania hapo akikutingishia kinyambis alafu una waste your best campus years trying to hope that she’ll be faithfull only to you na akuwe anakosa kuenda dunda kama hauko, lol.
Jul 20, 2020 28 tweets 4 min read
Nimewai hepa home kuenda bash siko invited alafu kufika huko nikafukuzwa saa sita usiku, hapo ndio nilijua meaning ya mwenda tezi na Omo marejeo ni nyumbani… THREAD. Peer pressure huwa mbaya, nikiwa bado high school and living under the old man’s roof kuna day arif alinisho kuna bash ya cousin yake huko Mountain View, na sisi tulikuwa tuna stay Ndumbu-ini.
Jul 6, 2020 28 tweets 4 min read
Ukipatwa kwakina dem ni heri utoke mbio uwache akijitetea kuliko ujifiche, mimi nililala chini ya bed kwakina dem just so that asikuwe in trouble na bado tuliwachana. 🤡 Bado mi hukumbuka hii kitu inani traumatize, juu hiyo siku nilienda huko na aim ya kujua kwao just incase in future tutakuja Ruracio nijue ni wapi tunaleta ng'ombe za mahari.