There is really no hurry in life!

While I was in secondary school, I have this friend who repeated SS2 because he failed Maths and English. I moved past him and went ahead to write WAEC in SS3 while he lagged one year behind.

Mind you, this is the 2nd time he’s repeating…. …a class - he initially repeated JSS2, and now SS2.

I remember how embarrassed he felt, he cried bitterly when he collected his result. He did not find it funny!

But guess what?

Even though I passed my WAEC at one sitting, I’d to write JAMB 3 times:

2006 - 187
2007 - 196
2008 - No Result
2009 - 226

Before I could gain admission.

My ex and I were deeply in love, but ego and pride broke us!

Lade and I are first borns which technically means we are deputy parents - spending our hard earned money on children we didn’t give birth to. 😂

Our parents are old & retired, hence we became the family’s indaboski. No one dares to take any decision behind us.

Super-ego was online 247!

Our last fight:

She wanted me to drive her to an event while she pays me for my chauffeur service.

Ridiculous?

That’s the problem with independent ladies.

Anyways, after lots of back & forth, I agreed to her terms.

On the day of the event…

On this day last month, we were discussing in my office about the rate of “japa”, the buzz & how people hide the full information about it.

Towards the end of the conversation, the guy that started the talk kept saying stuff like “all of you hiding japa info, God dey o!”

🧵 He was saying all these while looking at my direction suspiciously, others noticed and they were all like “Ohhh,.. Alex, nah you wan japa next abi?” I said “Amen oo” in my typical jovial self.

After work, Susan (an intern) came to meet me and asked “Alex, how did you do it.

If you’re looking for an apartment around Iyana Oworo & agents are saying there’s a 3-storey building with multiple apartments, has running water, it’s trekkable to Iyana Oworo bus stop, you can see 3MB from the house & it’s direct from the landlord.

Ask if it’s on Palace road? If yes, flee!

I don’t want to mention the name, but residents of the area and past tenants of the house already know where I’m talking about.

Most of the apartments in the house are either mini flats or self contains. Tenants in that house barely live through their rents.

My neighbor angrily left his wife and two weeks old baby in the house yesternight, the woman came to my doorstep asking me to help call & beg him.

She doesn’t have a phone because this guy wouldn’t allow her to use a phone. 🤦🏾

I called to have a man-to-man convo with him, he… …scoped me that there’s nothing & then switch off after the call.

The lady has no one staying with her for omugwo, not even any of the relatives.😔

With tears in her eyes, she begged that I drive her to his furniture workshop around ikorodu road, maybe we could find him there.

A friend just lost what might have been a beautiful relationship because of her squalid sense of entitlement.

This is a lady that was practically crying about being single for long & asking that we hook her up. Finally hooked her up with my colleague's younger bro.

[Thread] The relationship started last year December. They met at my place and everything started smoothly. The guy was glad i hooked him up with such a cute & amazing lady.

Momentarily, the lady will send loads of messages to tell me how sweet, loving, and gentlemanly he has been.

In 2017, a friend of mine became very selective of the people he tagged his friends. In fact, he decided to separate acquaintances from real friends. He was so intentional about this move that he created a WhatsApp group for the so called "Real Friends".

[Thread] I was "fortunate" to be a member of the real friends WhatsApp group which he named "One Bond!"
We were just 8 in the group comprising of old school mates and colleagues. The objective of the group was to share updates on career progress and life changing opportunities.

You'll see some companies on the island & think they make sense, ọmọ nah just packaging. I remember after my NYSC, I got an internship opportunity in one very fine firm with nice edifice around Ajose Adeogun. In my mind I thought I've arrived!

*Let me laugh small 🤣*
[Thread] I remember going to Idumota to buy correct shirts, suits and shoes, I was coming with the mentality of "èmi ọmọ UI, lemme go and blow their fvcking minds".

Getting retained within the shortest possible time was the goal. Only to resume & discovered that out of the 19 staff...

So there was this hot saturday afternoon, i followed a friend to go check an apartment in Ikorodu.

We got to the building with the agent, It was such a very niceeee house.

I excused myself to get a cold drink as I was feeling thirsty, then my mom's friend saw me.

[Thread] Mom's Friend: Haa, Tobiloba mi kọ lélẹ̀yi?

Me: Èmi ni Ma, ẹkù ọjọ́ mẹta má!

Mom's Friend: What are you doing in my area?

Me: I came with my friend to check an apartment in this house. (pointing to the nice building)

Mom's Friend: This house?

Me: Yes Má, this house Má!

Nigeria remains the power house of music in Africa followed by South Africa and others.

In fact if not for the Amapiano beats, South Africa should be part of the others. Naija artistes sef dey kill the beat steady.

Sadly, music seems to be only thing we have to show off. 😔 Anyways, before you start to argue, kindly join the MTV base #AfricaDayConcert on YouTube by 6pm via and see our Naija artist like Teni, Gyakie and other African acts showing what it is to be a true African. 💪

Africa is blessed!!! 🤗

Don't miss it!

4years ago, I resigned from a customer care job with one of the telcos. They were paying 70k monthly (bonus inclusive) plus other side attractions like free transportation, 15k airtime and 1.5gb free data.

Same time, Ken - a team mate turned friend also got an offer...

[Thread] ... as a Data Management Personnel with a small tech firm in V.I, offering 100k net per month.

He's an Info-Tech Graduate of N.D.U plus Msc. UI, but working as a Call Centre Agent in Ilupeju.

He wanted to turn down the offer due to the distance from his house to VI.

According to psychologists, there are four types of intelligence:

- Intelligence Quotient (IQ)
- Emotional Quotient (EQ)
- Social Quotient (SQ)
- Adversity Quotient (AQ)

1. IQ is the measure of one's ability to comprehend, solve maths; memorize things & recall subject matters. 2. EQ is the measure of your ability to maintain peace with others; keep to time; be responsible; be honest; respect boundaries; be humble, genuine, and considerate.

3. SQ is the measure of one's ability to build a network of friends & maintain it over a long period of time.

I have a friend currently dating this wealthy guy. He spoils her silly & barely allows her to do a thing!

But the problem is, whenever they're having a quarrel, he destroys some of the expensive things he bought for her.

The last time, he flushed her AirPods,...

1/5 ..., expensive makeup kits and even burnt some of her wigs.

He has smashed her phone a few times & even angrily punched her tyres.

After this act, he becomes calm & remorseful; he'll apologize & replace those stuff with more quality ones.

I asked if he beats her?

2/5

Today, I experienced one of the most unpleasant relationship conversation, this happened between my colleague & his GF.

It was a phone conversation which started at closing hour. It all started with a gentle tone with him repeatedly saying "Mabinu (I'm sorry)".

I'd to... 1/10 ...chill for him as we oftentimes go home together in his car.

Earlier this week, he told me he was warned by a prophet not to argue with anyone and since then he has been avoiding quarrels.

At a point on the call, he stopped saying I am sorry & kept quiet. I could hear... 2/10

My name is Alex Oluwatobi & I'm confused!

When I was in 200 level, I met Funke who joined my Dept through A-levels. One thing led to the other & we got talking. I started developing a special likeness for her.

She is a natural beauty, nerdy, well endowed (front & back 💯). 1/25 I summoned the courage to ask her out, but i was turned down. She said the best we could be is just friends as she is in a serious relationship.

Few months after, I tried again but still met a dead end. So I decided to drop it & agreed to be in the friendzone. 2/25

To avert yesterday's traffic, I decided to take Okada from Ojuelegba to Ketu. The rider said 2k, but if he is taking 2 people we will pay 1k each.

I decided to pair with another person just to cut cost. Biggest mistake I'll make in 2019. 😭

I should've just paid the 2k... 1/7 ...and enjoy the ride without any "hard feelings". Ohhh Gawd 😭 (Tobi, stopeet, don't cry)

The guy that I paired with sat behind me. While in transit, he started sniffing my neck, in my mind I was like "am I smelling ?".

Next thing he whispered "You smell nice"... 2/7

After my secondary education, all i wanted to become was a Yahoo boy.

Seeing my peers doing the Y-Y level steady cashing out, wearing customized jerseys, nice sneakers, flashing belt, using Ipod/Mp3 players was so fascinating, so i really wanted to belong...

THREAD. So one afternoon, I stole my grandma's money and went to Antis cybercafé down the street in Yemetu, Ìbàdàn.

Bought 30 mins and started surfing the net, not really knowing what I was doing but at least, I've learnt how to send mails & use yahoo messenger before i left Mayflower.

My new neighbor seems not to like me, but I greet them anyways.

In bid to be a little friendly, I asked their 2 sons yesterday the football club they supports. They smiled, shook their heads & pelted upstairs.

Got home this evening, Dad & Mum knocked & gave me this 👇 book. I am still very weak. Abeg, I dey find house ooo... I can't deal with this.