Be the ghost. Be the flame

I learned this from Lovedrop

THREAD THE GHOST AND THE FLAME

From Lovedrop's book Revelation:

The deepest truth in pickup is a set of attitudes that you feel inside and thus vibe out to other people. It colors your interpretation of events, your behavior, and the way that people respond to you socially. High-value behaviors will flow naturally from these attitudes, without need for rehearsal. We use a Yin/Yan metaphor to describe these attitudes:

THE GHOST
The Yin is like being a ghost who is unaffected by anything thrown its way. Nothing can touch you or shake your emotions. The Yin is the way that you are not affected by other people. It is the way that you do not add overly intense feelings to the vibe. You must practice the Yin at all times.

Also, whatever intense feelings may be in the air, positive or negative, you do not react overly to them. Though you are socially intuitive to the vibe, and you are perfectly aware of whatever is going on, nevertheless, nothing is that big of a deal to you. The Yin is also about being a high-value person who would not bring negative feelings to an interaction. After all, you do not care enough to do so. The caring itself would be overly reactive and thus beneath you.

Pretty girls used to smile

Now they frown and look tough and it’s disgusting
Beautiful but not smiling

https://twitter.com/femenineframes/status/2043373867729596773

The love of a good woman will always have a validating effect

To try and shut that down would be suffocating to your masculine soul

Feel that validation 10-25% and enjoy it

Don’t feel it 80-100% and open yourself up to being manipulated and controlled The deeper you go into human psychology, the deeper you go into three big topics:

• identity
• validation
• self esteem

Things are getting worse Does 'leaning in' to women make men 'needy,' 'weak,' and 'pathetic'? The man who says so gets trashed on Twitter

A man who goes by Rivelino has dedicated his Twitter account to lecturing on how men and women should behave

dailymail.co.uk/lifestyle/arti…

When you lose your temper, you lose your authority One of the most common ways a woman tries to destroy a relationship is by pushing your buttons until you lose your temper

Once you lose your temper, she can either escalate the argument or play the victim

Either way, you are no longer in charge

The girls are horny in April! Ask any married couple when they met/got together, and most will say spring or summer

The single girls have been lonely all winter

They’re primed and ready to meet someone new

A feminine woman is attracted to a man who is older

A masculine woman is attracted to a man who is younger THREAD

Rivelino Wisdom 1 – 450

https://x.com/alpharivelino/status/1638490799305289728?s=20

If you want to understand women, you want to start with three concepts:

• Lust
• Power
• Destruction 1-LUST

The men who misunderstand women the most, and who have the most trouble attracting women, are the men who discount female lust as the fundamental motivation for female behavior

She leans in when she loves you. She leans away when she hates you

Green Line Theory reveals female emotions
We move towards things we want. We move away from things we don’t want

This is simple animal and human behavior, and it’s one of the foundations of green line theory

The sooner you start to see the green lines, the sooner you will understand the world

Generally speaking, a woman can control her sex drive more than a man

Generally speaking, a man can control his emotions more than a woman

Therefore:

A woman who can’t control her sex drive is more masculine

A man who can’t control his emotions is more feminine If you’re a young man in your 20s and you want to start understanding the concept of “sexual polarity”, this practical insight is a good place to start

THREE STAGES

1. You're a loser. You take the path of least resistance. You're lazy. You live in sexual scarcity. Women don't want to fuck you. You're a coward. You give away free validation to girls in the hopes of getting laid. You're boring and predictable. You're a simp 2. You shut down the free validation. You build yourself up. You become a man of courage, achievement, mastery. You do impressive things other men CANNOT do. Women notice you. You start banging pretty girls. You become picky with your affection, your validation, your dick

There is

-High quality pussy
-Medium quality pussy
-Low quality pussy

This is obvious to high achieving men like Rivelino who can get high quality pussy, and it’s inconceivable to degenerate PUAs who can only get sluts

If you debate me on this, you’re telling on yourself The disgusting PUAs with triple digit body counts who try to lord over you by bragging about the QUANTITY of girls they’ve banged, they never want to talk about QUALITY

In fact, they’ll make the nihilistic argument that quality doesn’t exist, that “all pussy is the same”

Dating apps are hell

1-Give men false hope that they can meet “the one” without doing the necessary work of self improvement

2-Encourage laziness and cowardice in men

3-Encourage the inhuman practice of swiping on people

4-Discourage social bravery and boldness in men (cold approach/daygame)

5-Discourage men from having the gumption to do cool shit in real life (sexy hobby)

6-Discourage men and women from doing real world social activities, building up a social network, and making friends with people of the opposite sex

7-Give men a wrong impression of their own value (lower than in reality)

8-Give men a wrong impression of women (arrogant, aloof, damaged)

9-Give women a wrong impression of their own value (inflates their egos)

10-Give women a wrong impression of men (desperate weaklings)

11-Damage male self esteem the longer they’re on the apps

12-Damage women’s feminine magic the longer they’re on the apps (they often get pumped and dumped by men who are out of their league)

13-Encourage men to pump and dump

14-Encourage men to treat women with anger and impatience

15-Encourage women to be total bitches with massive entitlement issues

16-Overall, dating apps create animosity, disillusion, and antagonism between the sexes Dating apps are hell

The healthiest women don’t get on the dating apps. Or if they do, they get on briefly and then get out quickly in order to protect their own health, when they realize what a clusterfuck they are

So what’s left on the dating apps is damaged women or women who were once healthy but BECAME damaged from staying on the apps too long, longer than a few weeks or months

Women have a self destructive side. Without a good strong man to protect her and give her structure, a woman will probably spiral out of control

Men have a self destructive side. The big difference is that it's up to the man to master this for himself and for the woman he loves The burden of the man has two parts:

First, he needs to harness and control his own self destructive impulses, achieve mastery over them, and redirect them into healthy productive action and structure for his own well being

Two Types of Female Bitchiness

1-EARLY BITCHINESS
When you first meet a woman, you need to establish strong boundaries so she respects you. She will throw shit tests at you to see if you're man enough to call her out on her bitchiness. You need to hold frame Example

I met up with a girl for a first date. We started walking to the bar, but at one point I realized I was walking the wrong way and stopped. Immediately, she pounced

Her: Do you know where we're going? [bitchy attitude]
Me: You don't have to come [calm, assertive]

10 ways to build a strong masculine identity and attract high quality women

1. Craft your origin story
2. Flaunt your ambitions
3. Create verbal tension
4. Qualify her to establish standards
5. Patience means abundance 10 ways to build a strong masculine identity and attract high quality women, part 2

6. Escalate without flinching
7. Demonstrate emotional control
8. Create more, consume less
9. Courage + skill = authority
10. Confront your sexual core

The love a man feels for a woman is one of the most beautiful things ever created

But that’s where the problems start This is the problem:

Because a man feels such strong love for his woman, he assumes that the love she feels for him is the same kind of love

After all, they’re both using the same word

“love”

Guys, you want to do everything in your power to not use a backpack

Not in urban settings

For hiking, okay For work stuff, use a leather messenger bag

For gym stuff, use a gym bag

For hiking, use a backpack

ASK RIVELINO

"Is going to the gym a sexy hobby?"

Unfortunately, no Don't get me wrong, going to the gym, building muscle, getting stronger, that is very sexy to women

But it's not a sexy hobby

You could see going to the gym as something women **expect** men to do, so they don't see it as an expression of an innate masculine passion

This Susan Walsh blog post from 2010 was one of the inspirations for my SEXY HOBBY concept

"Only Four Words Stand Between You and the Girl of Your Dreams"
By Susan Walsh, March 26, 2010


Only Four Words Stand Between You and the Girl of Your Dreams
By Susan Walsh, March 26, 2010

Reader Steve wrote recently to request a post written specifically for the guys – What do women find sexy?

I’ve been thinking about it for a week or so, and the answer is not complicated. Women are sexually attracted to men who exhibit social dominance. What’s very complicated is the implementation of that objective. Many men have trouble knowing how to go about getting social dominance.

• How can I be confident with women if I don’t have a lot of experience with them?
• How can I compete with the guys who seem to naturally dominate a group like they were born to it?
• Does being socially dominant mean turning into an asshole?

Telling a guy to become socially dominant is not helpful. Mystery provided a lot of instructional material when he wrote the Mystery Method, but it’s outdated and has other limitations:

1. It was written for picking up women in bars and clubs, and it focused on short-term success, i.e. getting beautiful women into bed. There are many men who would like to meet a quality woman for a long-term relationship, and for them it’s beneficial to focus on day game and women who are not “hired guns.”

2. Mystery is a magician, and he perfected openers and routines using magic and card tricks. Today there’s nothing more pathetic than a guy in a bar whipping out a deck of cards or offering to read your palm.

3. Mystery Method also requires a lot of time in the field, a lot of resources, and a lot of practice getting rejected. It can be extremely effective, but let’s face it, most guys are not going to undertake a program of sarging in bars every night for months to pull off the kind of transformation that Neil Strauss did.

[Photo of Bobby Flay]

I’d been thinking this over and trying to come up with concrete, useful information to share with guys, but nothing was really getting cemented in my brain. Yesterday, I was flying home to Boston when I noticed that the TV screen in front of me was tuned to the Food Network. I know the cooking shows are wildly popular, but I haven’t ever watched any of them. There was an OK looking guy, nothing special, talking to the camera and assembling ingredients on a counter. Meh. He put some tuna steaks on a grill to sear, then picked up an onion in one hand and a chef’s knife in the other. He proceeded to dice that onion into perfect little squares in about 15 seconds. The knife flew so fast it was almost a blur. He then did the same thing with a bunch of celery. Then a cucumber. I was riveted.

Tingle.

This guy, Bobby Flay, was masterful. I know that there’s nothing special about dicing vegetables quickly. It’s basic training for cooks. But there was something about his body language, the way he held and wielded his tools, that was really hot. I put on my earphones and watched the rest of the show – God, he was sexy.

Next up was this clown:

[photo of Guy Fieri]

The minute I saw this head I knew he could never be sexy. I can’t even tell you how not my type this guy is. I watched him handle lamb loin chops with his catcher’s mitt hands. Then I watched him mix up a vinaigrette. Nuthin. Finally, he gently folded dough over caramelized pears to make a strudel. He lovingly tucked the ends under with those fat, beefy fingers.

Tingle.

It doesn’t matter what a guy looks like. Guy Fieri is proof of that. It doesn’t matter what he does for a living or in his spare time. What matters can be summed up in two words:

Passion.
Mastery.

In that order. This is what you need to be socially dominant. There are a million ways to accomplish this. It does not matter what you are interested in. What matters is that you absolutely love it. And that you are very, very good at it (or working to get very good at it). Once you have this in place, you must display and share your expertise to achieve dominance.

Mystery wrote about this as Demonstrating Higher Value than other men. You’re probably thinking “Give me a break, these guys are natural performers, they were super confident to begin with!”

That may be true.

What’s important is that their confidence (and their comfort) comes directly from their skill.

When I was in grad school, my roommate and I decided to throw a rager in the spring of our first year. We distributed about 200 invitations that said “Wicked. Party. Come.” There was one guy who everyone knew was really into music – kind of like John Cusack in High Fidelity. He’d worked in the record industry, and he offered to help make a mix.

He invited me over one night to choose some songs, and as I entered his room I saw about 40 linear feet of LPs. In modern day terms, that would be a couple of thousand CDs. I don’t know what his filing system was, but as we discussed possible choices, he went straight to each album and pulled it out. He really, really knew music. I distinctly remember thinking how HOT that was. He was suddenly so much hotter than he was in Econ! He knew it too – he was really on top of his game that night, and he pounced, haha.

(Reader, I married him.)

Did you know that pregnant women often get crushes on their male OBs? And that mothers of newborns find male pediatricians adorable? It’s a cliche that every university has some old goat professor who has a way of seducing students. And female patients often crush on their male therapists (contrary to popular belief, this is not transference).

Women find it intoxicating when a man derives authority through mastery.

However, just being an expert is not enough. If you’re amazing at World of Warcraft, but the only people who know it are other guys online, it really isn’t going to help you get chicks. You must find a way to display your skill, a way to strut your stuff in front of women. Again, it doesn’t matter what you love to do, what matters is that you find a way to share what you know.

Display.

Some interests are easier to display than others. If you’re into fly fishing, that’s a cool thing to talk about on a date, but you’ll have to find a woman who loves the outdoors to demonstrate your expertise. Still, your passion and mastery can be communicated in conversation, and you can present authority that way.

Anything can be sexy. I’ve personally observed men achieve social dominance via the following interests:

• collecting Mission-style antiques/junk
• frisbee
• U.S. Presidents
• political activism
• brewing own beer
• playing guitar (Duh, you can get away with this even if you’re broke as a joke.)

Of course, not everyone will be equally enchanted by the brew you haul out of your bedroom closet. Which brings me to the last crucial ingredient:

Compatibility.

You need to identify and meet like-minded people. Once you have figured out what you like, and worked on getting good at it, you need to find people who like the same thing. OK, fly fishing might be tough. So join the Appalachian Mountain Club and go on some group hikes. A woman who loves the outdoors will probably be thrilled to fantasize about standing in a cold Montana river as you show her how to bounce the fly on top of the water.

If you can meet women who share your interests, you can also benefit from social proof as they witness the respect you command from others in that particular community.

This bears repeating: It does not matter what you are interested in! A poetry slam, acting in community theater, old books, quarks, jazz, hoops.

If you can find a way to include a woman in your interest, you will earn serious cred by virtue of your expertise.

Passion. Mastery. Display. Compatibility.

It sounds like a lot, I know. But the truth is, women respond to social dominance, not specific subject matter. If you can find a way to share what makes you tick, you will exude confidence, and you will get laid, er, I mean, female attention.

Girls, what do you think? Have you ever thought a guy was hot because he was really good at something?

Guys, does this make sense? Does it feel “doable?”

ASK RIVELINO

"If you have a sexy profession like pilot or firefighter, then do you need a sexy hobby?"

As a man, what you need is LEADS, and what you need is a durable robust SYSTEM for getting leads

A man without leads is a man who is dying

Some more thoughts on this...

https://twitter.com/BowTiedPhRaptor/status/1915818902912668035

On the importance of leads and having a SEXY HOBBY

1-A man without leads is a man who is dying. He is like a shark that needs to swim to breathe

2-If you're single and you don't have leads, you're fucked. If you're in an LTR and you don't have leads, you're also fucked