https://t.co/ymQV9QevJa Taking care of the needs of a group of women with complex lifetime trauma, and extraordinary āhua.
Mar 27, 2023 • 9 tweets • 2 min read
The number of times over the years ppl have tried to say to me
But the Dunedin Longitudinal Study said…
No.
The question was
Have you ever hit ur partner?
It came out 50/50 men/women.
No context around severity of hit, the power dynamic in the rship. How many times.
How long the physical violence lasted.
No.
Just
Have you ever hit yr partner.
A lot of our narrative around gendered violence has come from that one question over the years.
And I can tell you categorically that other genders apart from cis men use physical violence.
Jan 21, 2023 • 9 tweets • 2 min read
Hello cis men.
Today seems a good day to remind you all that
If someone who’s not a cis man gets a job ahead of you, or earns more money than you, or is cleverer than you, or is just getting some attention of some sort…
it might be good for you to just accept that.
I know you feel rejection keenly - from being turned down for a date, to losing a job - and that can be really dangerous to other people when that happens.
Bc you’re not socialised to talk abt ur feelings, you end up, I dunno…
Jul 8, 2021 • 13 tweets • 2 min read
I've been watching a particular person in the last while.
He has a superhero complex, and I kind of want to explain what that is. Thread.
So when you're doing work - be it voluntary or paid - that has to do with vulnerable people in shit circumstances, there's this human trait which comes out which is really dangerous.
I call it super-heroing.
Jul 7, 2021 • 6 tweets • 2 min read
I’m very proud of myself for updating the website today.
Someone once said that to have children is to have your heart outside your body.
Now imagine that to stay safe from a violent partner, you have to leave your children behind temporarily with someone else.
That to be effectively safe, you can’t tell them where you are. 1/9
At an educated guess, 10% of abusive rships involve sustained physical brutality.
Maybe 5% of women in refuges are in circs that demand the safety of secrecy.
Imagine the logistics of leaving yr kids behind and not being able to see them. 2/9
Dec 30, 2019 • 18 tweets • 3 min read
End of year gratitude thread, incoming.
It's very long, and it's impt.
Thank you.
BEAR WITH.
1/17 Today, on eve of the anniversary of my husband's death, and the eve of the start of a new decade, there is much to be grateful for.
After Ian died, Phil stepped in for a month and met the needs of the women of the Aunties whānau.
Nov 29, 2019 • 19 tweets • 4 min read
1/19 I'm going to have a rant. You can either listen, or you can look away, and if you look away, then we're possibly not the right fit for your kind heart.
This makes me mad.
It makes me seethingly furious. stuff.co.nz…/welfare-system-creating-criminals…
2/19 People in this country cannot afford to eat, and pay bills, and pay their rent. They cannot afford to eat.
This is what it comes down to. And I'm going to use real examples. No names, no pack drills.
Jun 15, 2018 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
About to say some triggering things. Thread.
So CW.
DV. SA
a lot of ppl are up in arms abt the murder/rape of a young woman
And a lot of you cis men are thinking “that’s terrible, Who would do something like that”
The reality is this.
See your friend over there?
He threw his wife into a wall.
See that one just behind you?
His partner was hospitalised several times due to his violence.
He still calls her a whore via text.
