#daran #ranzai
🧑🏻‍🍳

No Dazai's allowed to touch kitchen utensils that aren't a spoon or fork.

---

"Don't you dare touch anything on or near that stove."

Dazai freezes, his hand hovering in mid air right over the handle of a frying pan. He turns his head to look at the person
+ so sternly warning him, and is greeted with a pair of sharp green eyes glaring at him. Their expression makes him pout.

"Why? I just want to help you cook, Ranpo-san."

"You can help by stirring the ingredients together in this bowl."

"That's helping you with the preparation,
+

🎀🍫 Servitude (?) —
aka daran ft Ranpo in a cute maid outfit, with nonbinary Ranpo this time uwu

Happy (late) maid day.

🧵

- - - Dazai Osamu is late for work.

This by itself is a very normal thing, actually. There's nothing unusual about it at all.

He always gets a call from Kunikida twenty minutes past when he's supposed to clock in, and jokingly tells his work partner /"You're my alarm, Kunikida-kun!

🍬🍭💐🩷🩷

Valentine's Day.

A terrible time of the year, specifically if you're an idol, who is required by your contract to remain single and desired for the sake of market sales and the abuse of parasocialism.

Ranpo wouldn't call himself a romantic person by a long shot-- Quite frankly he's very lacking in the empathy department underneath his facade and often hurts people's feelings, but that's not the point.

He's not without his desires! He's interested in other people, he has needs, he has an overwhelming urge to be spoiled... but he never

🍓🫐 — 11.11 ; happy pocky day 💕

.

It's freezing out.

It had been 16 degrees Celsius all fucking day-- which was terrible, but bearable enough if you had a decent jacket, but now it was under /ten./

And it's night time, so there's no sun to spare you some warmth.
+ And Ranpo is sitting on a bench without his jacket on, taking a long drag of his cigarette before exhaling it out into the air.

Smoke mingles with the cold air made from his breath, and they disappear into the gentle breeze that bites into his skin all the same.
+

🩷🥤

#daran #ranzai

Dazai has a favorite classmate.

That's what he tells everyone, anyway.

Sometimes he even gets bold enough to joke it's a puppy crush, exaggerating blushing and shyness when people press him about his strange pull to the person in question.
+ The reality, though?

It's far more simple, really.

Whoever created the phrase 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer' were truly ahead of their time, or at least, this is what Dazai's boss told him when assigning this duty to him.
+

#chuusig / 🎩🍪 — in which chuuya falls in love with a certain dealer at a casino.

(features fem sigma. whether she's trans fem or cis girl is up to the reader to decide ♥)

🔻 Looking at his bank account these days has been hard for Chuuya.

He's the type of person who habitually checks it every time he makes a few purchases despite knowing how much he has left, but these days, he seems to check it more to see if he's simply hallucinated just
+

🩸🤕🩹

tw: self harm, skin picking, accidental self harm, dermatilomania (part 2.)

🧵⬇️ The door of the agency clicks open slowly, followed by the sound of a familiar voice yawning.

"Good morning, everyone..."

Nearly everyone seems to ignore the greeting, aside from one-- the ever generous, too-kind-for-his-own-good Atsushi, who turns his head and stands up from
+

kinda want the impossible to happen (wolf ranpo actually gets bunnyzai pregnant haha) ranpo: insanely happy
also ranpo: WHAT THE FUCK ISNT THIS CONCERNING OR

"Got stabbed while coming back from Tokyo and walked into Fyodor's room only to collapse."

/Because of me./

Ranpo doesn't need to say those words, it's present on their face well enough.

Gide remains composed, folding his hands on his chest as he kicks his feet up onto
+ his desk and sighs. The expensive leather squeaks as he moves. "I heard."

Finally, a pair of green eyes look at him. "Did you?"

Gide's lips pull up into a fond, playful smile. "Not too long ago, my favorite little mouse snuck his way in here in the middle of the night
+

Dazai has a lot of time to think while he's been in Meursault.

Too much time, he thinks.

Thinking in general was his entire reason for being there in the first place, and it's the most exhausting thing in the entire world to do consistently for days or even weeks at a time.
+ It arguably hasn't been that long since he was arrested to combat Fyodor's plans, but when you're in an isolated place with a cracked mirror for company, you start to lose track of time. Everything feels as if it goes by so fucking slowly, as if you've spent literal years
+

WHY DOWS IT JUST SAY DAY ... huh

心の中にらんぽの両親は死ななかった
そして探偵社のみんなさんはらんぽの父上と母上のこと好きです everyone getting to see ranpo be so cute and adorable with his parents.... naomi calls out, 'ranpo-san! akechi-san is here!' and ranpo jumps up going 'father is here?!' and runs to tackle hug him uuuuuu

(｡T ω T｡) every time my favorite artists do net prints i get so sad i can't have them the things i would do for tamari-san prints are outrageous

I DONT KNOW THE JAPANESE WORD FOR MULTISHIPPET MULTISHIPPER*

As a fellow abuse victim myself, I really just want to point out a few things to people that make this entire thread all the more embarrassing for the jerk this is about.

https://twitter.com/FyodorSlut/status/1654186371064516619

I've been helping Alexei through so many ups and downs this guy has caused. the ripple effect of his abuse has trickled down to even the littlest of things. and Alexei is still struggling to overcome it.

He's using the exact words of his victims, turning them into his own

He's still not good at lying, is he?

Even so, Dazai shakes his head, bowing it to shield his expression with his hair as he answers, "No, nothing."

Oda doesn't even bother to seem convinced, and after a tense moment, he sighs. "Alright, let me rephrase myself: did
+ something happen that you can't tell me about?"

Dazai hesitates, seeming to consider lying again, but when he glances up to meet Oda's eyes...

There isn't any anger. Just quiet understanding.

His shoulders relax, but it looks less out of reassurance and more out of guilt.
+

i hate being autistic because there comes a point where friendship with me gets quiet not because i suddenly dont like you anymore. its actually the opposite. my brain is like 'ok, this person is trustworthy. i like them a lot. i can trust them to not mind if i do not respond for days or weeks at a time.' but this can so easily be translated as me dropping you like a wet sock filled with rocks. but it's not. i hate this part about my autism but it like. it always happens. so if you think i'm ignoring you or not caring about our friendship any,more

hmmmmmmmm rival assassins odaran assassins in the same guild so they often have to work together cuz they're the best in their age group... 🤔

why am i researching this shit all for a date fic of bimbofied gay writers brain: no one cares about these details
me, screaming and crying: BUT I DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DO!!!!!!!!!!!!1 IT'S A WASTE OF TIME AND I HATE IT BUT I STILL DO FOR SOME SILLY REASON!!!!

⚠️ We have now completed the end of the sensitive/potentially triggering scene. Back to your regularly scheduled twitter fic threading.
👇 /Oh./

Dazai feels his chest tighten, taking in a slow breath as he bites back the urge to embarrass himself.

"Hey."

"Uh... yeah?"

"Can I touch it?" Ranpo asks, lifting a hand to hover in the space between them.
+

this next scene of cb has accidental noncon but trust me on this trust the process its not actual noncon but it is technically on the fact it wasnt given a heads up JUST TRUST ME BRO I think I might write it on gdocs to censor as sensitive