Bess Kalb Profile picture
Writer and producer of TV and movie and books and children.
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Dec 21, 2022 6 tweets 3 min read
Can finally announce: I am humbled, honored, and frankly still in shock to be the new CEO of @twitter. Though we haven't always seen eye to eye (Edgelord memes! Verification fiasco! The "sink" joke being the full extent of his business plan!) I am thrilled @elonmusk took a chan Whether he has failed to rescue people from a cave and then called the actual rescuer a pedophile, sent CPAP machines to hospitals instead of direly needed ventilators, or spent $44 billion to ruin his reputation and legacy, @elonmusk has always been on the forefront of
Dec 14, 2022 4 tweets 1 min read
You just had covid and lived in New York City and have been in an immunocompromised/baby hermetically sealed bubble for 3 years and could suddenly do anything and go anywhere: What would you do? My brain keeps going back to "Dumplings." So I have made 3 plans to eat dumplings. Does anyone have anything non-dumpling related? Just texted another friend about going "crazy in dumptown" and it seems like that's what I'm going to keep doing.
Dec 12, 2022 4 tweets 1 min read
I am someone who just hired a nanny because she politely referred to a picture of my youngest son - a baby whose legs look like two recently exploded logs of crescent roll dough - as "Rotund!" Would have accepted "Wow! That is a water balloon full of vanilla pudding!"
Dec 11, 2022 6 tweets 1 min read
One White Lotus thing: I do not think Cameron has any money. Whom
Oct 10, 2022 8 tweets 2 min read
Hi! The global Jewish population has still not rebounded from the Holocaust. There were 16.6 million Jews in 1939, then 6 million of us were annihilated in a genocide that happened when "It's A Wonderful Life" came out in movie theaters, and now there are 14.8 million of us. This was not an ancient blip. It was a coordinated systemic annihilation program born out of long-simmering antisemitic acceptance, grounded in the idea Jews are an all-powerful network keeping people down. It is all sounding very familiar!
May 3, 2020 21 tweets 4 min read
My dad is an ICU doctor treating COVID-19 patients. In the past WEEK he has set more “I’ve never seen a heart rate/RBC count/etc. like this” records than in his decades-long career. What this virus does to the body is like “sticking your finger in an electric socket.” Stay home. He had a patient who needed 8 blood transfusions in a morning even though he wasn’t bleeding. The coronavirus was just eating his red blood cells faster than his bone marrow could make them. It’s fucking mystifying and brutal.