Brendan Fraser Crane Profile picture
Critics say I have the “winsome redundancy” of a young Luke Wilson.
Aug 31, 2024 4 tweets 1 min read
An actual trad medieval peasant would have cut the throat of a thousand men before him to have access to pasteurization Funniest Flannery O’Connor moment is in The Enduring Chill when the writer son returns home and tries to bond with the black workers on the family farm by drinking raw milk. They’re like “I don’t think that’s a good idea” and he ignores them and gives himself undulant fever
Aug 3, 2023 55 tweets 16 min read
We are so back Image Should start by offering a detente between 2005 fans & the 1995 miniseries purists. Both adaptions are perfectly valid & in any case aren't competing over the same audience. 1995 is for lame aunts who think they're the fun aunt & 2005 is for cool girls & the men who respect them
Jan 17, 2022 70 tweets 21 min read
Ready for all of your wildest dreams to come true. Thread incoming. Image I'm convinced that they added the student ID with the school year to tell everyone that this isn't an 80s period piece, rural Idaho is just like that.
Dec 16, 2021 64 tweets 19 min read
Feeling festive yet melancholic. Luckily there's a movie for that. Thread incoming. Image Very funny that everyone insisted on calling him Jimmy. The man was one of our finest actors, a war hero, the avatar of pure Americana. But the second he asks you to call him James in that voice you're like "yeah sure, whatever you say Jimmy." Image
Oct 12, 2021 73 tweets 21 min read
Livetweet and let die Image You have to understand the cultural moment. The American Idol shine had warn off, we were starting to wonder why we were still in Iraq. Tony Blair made Brits feel ashamed for the first time in history of the empire. Matt Damon doing parkour terrified the Bond producers.
Jul 14, 2021 64 tweets 19 min read
If you want to view paradise, this might be a good place to start. Willy Wonka rewatch incoming. Image Roald Dahl didn't like this movie for a number of reasons, one of them being the name change. But it was totally the right call. All Charlie does is have a dumb face and a worse last name. But Willy Wonka, the alliteration alone puts asses in seats.
Jun 14, 2021 34 tweets 9 min read
Bit of a knockoff of The Mummy, but it's alright. Raiders livetweet incoming. Spielberg can't resist this, loves to do hijinks with the studio logo. You can tell how involved he is with a Dreamworks project if they pull some sort of tomfoolery with the moon.
May 15, 2021 61 tweets 16 min read
Stayed home from work today dealing with some vaccine symptoms. Let's take this opportunity to appreciate a more pleasant day off. Hughes is a master of mise en scene. Just one shot and we already know the location, era, and which B-list actor rules over the tatters of the empire with a cold yet handsome fist
Apr 28, 2021 59 tweets 17 min read
You best start believing in livetweets. You're in one. Image PotC started the "innocent song turned creepy over plinking piano" trend. Between that and the Inception bwaaaaaams, Hans Zimmer is responsible for you showing up late to the theater to skip the trailers.
Oct 13, 2020 64 tweets 16 min read
Alright let's do this Image The movie immediately jumps to the classic door gag, only this time Shaggy adheres to the laws of physics. This isn't your father's Scooby-Doo, this is more mature. Post watergate. Image
Oct 7, 2020 57 tweets 13 min read
"The Mummy" live tweet incoming, some counter programming for the NBA Finals. Also tweeting from my laptop, which I haven't done in about 3 years. If the tweets seem more optimistic that's probably why. Universal logo dissolves into the hot Egyptian sun. Universal always tries to pull that crap. Not as often as Dreamworks, but that's not saying much.
Sep 13, 2020 10 tweets 5 min read
Canada isn’t a country, it’s a rubber stump shell company for the oil industry. They let you choose your prime minister like parent let’s their kid choose what shoes to wear, and even then you re-elected a guy who wore blackface in 2001. Ireland you sold off your proud history for the right to have tech companies squat on your soil and not pay taxes. Everyone there wants to look progressive and impress England, but my Dublin tour guide walked us by a new Chipotle with pride.