Stillness holds the secrets to a happy life.

But many of us resist it.

Here's a key reason why and what to do about it: What you fear when you're still is what you avoid when you're not.

When you stop running from yourself, you're confronted with all the reasons you started running in the first place.

5 Counterintuitive Perspectives, Tips, and Mantras to Create an Amazing Life in 2023: 1.) Adopt the Perspective of "No Wasted Time"

We often chastise our younger self for wisdom it didn't yet have. I call bullshit on that. Why you were the way you were at the time you were is beyond our capacity to understand.

What we DO know is this:

This question can help you assess if your behavior is rooted in codependence:

"Is this action inspired by my love FOR this person, or is it an effort to get love FROM this person?"

Here's why: When you do something out of love, you are coming from fullness.
When you do something to get love, you are coming from emptiness.

The former often leads to connection and openness.
The latter often leads to resentment and manipulation.

"What do I want to do for the rest of my life?"

This is the wrong question.

You can't possibly know who you'll be 5, 10, or 30 years from now.

Here's a better question: Instead of asking, "What do I want to do for the rest of my life?"

Ask:

"What do I feel inspired to explore more deeply at THIS point in my life?"

This removes the pressure to plan your whole life in a single moment & trains you to honor the ever-changing truth of who you are.

Letting go is key to a happy and successful life.

But how do we do it?

Here's a Zen story that has helped millions of people let go.

Maybe it will help you too: Many years ago, an old zen farmer was using a horse to till his fields.

All day long, he relied on this horse for the health of his farm.

But one day the horse escaped into the hills nowhere to be found...

"The brain is not designed to make you happy."

Have you ever heard this statement?

It's partially true, but fundamentally incorrect.

And believing it may be holding you back.

Your brain DOES want you to be happy.

Here's why (and how to benefit from it): Have you ever had the experience of eating a particular food that you loved, but then got sick from it?

Like, throwing up, head-in-toilet sick?

What do you think of that food now?

You can’t stand the thought of it, right?

This is your brain trying to make you happy.

Buddhist monks have some of the strongest & happiest minds in the world.

I wanted to know why.

So, when I was 22, I spent half a year training with them in a Burmese monastery.

My biggest insight and transformation was NOT what I expected.

Here's what it is: The main question people ask when they hear I spent 6 months in silence is:

"What did you experience?"

They're expecting some trippy, transcendent, ego-death-type stories.

And yes, I have those.

But the biggest thing I got from my time as a monk?

I became my own best friend.

Do you struggle with being focused and present?

Here's a 2-minute exercise you can practice in real-time.

All you need to do is slow down and read the thread below.

But make sure you pause 3-5 seconds between each sentence (very important).

Let's see what happens . . . Start by noticing what it’s like to see. Yes, the kind of seeing you do with your eyes.

In this moment, your eyes are taking in light, color, & shape.

Are you aware that this is happening?

What’s it like to be aware of it happening?

Thanksgiving is a day of gratitude and connection.

But not all of us feel grateful and connected.

Here's a different way to view this holiday: This day looks different for all of us.

Some of us are with friends and family.
Others of us might be alone.
We may feel connected in certain relationships.
And estranged in others.
For some, this is a great time in our life.
For others, things have never been worse.

7 Stress Reduction Tips That Take Less than 30 Seconds 👇 1. Minimum Effective Dose

Imagine a number line 1-10.

One is calm. Ten is Stress.

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

Ask: Where do I need to be in order to be effective at this task?

We're often attached to our stress because we think it's necessary.

See if that's true.

I meditated 15 hours a day for 6 months straight with one of the toughest Buddhist monks on the planet.

Here's what I learned: This is Sayadaw U Pandita. He was notorious for his unwavering belief that enlightenment is possible in this life & his ruthless expectation that his students get there. We slept 2-5 hours/night. No reading, writing or speaking. Lots of pain. Lots of insight. Let's get into it👇

It's not enough to simply IMAGINE the life you want.

You have to practice FEELING the life you want.

Just because your mind wants something doesn't mean your nervous system is prepared to hold the frequency of having it.

Here are 6 Steps to Retrain Your Nervous System: 1.) Imagine something you want and connect to what it would FEEL like to have this in your life.

2.) Then, notice the feeling about the feeling. Do you like it? Is it comfortable? Overwhelming? Is there a desire to sabotage the experience so it can’t be taken from you?

According to neuroscience, difficult emotions should only last 90 seconds.

Then why do we get stuck in emotions for hours, days, and even years?

Here are 2 reasons why (and how to change it): According to Dr. Jill Taylor, if we're still experiencing an emotion after 90 seconds, it means we're re-stimulating the neural circuitry.

The life cycle of the emotion has passed (or should have passed), but we've re-triggered it, or never allowed it to pass in the first place.

Do you struggle to get what you want?

Do you self-sabotage when things are just about to get good?

You may be stuck in a pain box.

Here's how to get out: In most cases, it's the pain we subconsciously associate with getting what we want that keeps us stuck in the same places, with the same people, the same desires, and the same frustrations.

One foot is on the gas. The other foot is on the break.

There are 3 main things happening in any given moment:

1.) Our experience
2.) Our awareness of our experience
3.) The story we tell ourselves about our experience

Recognizing these 3 layers is crucial for living a more intentional and peaceful life.

So, let's break it down: Our experience can be anything we perceive through our five senses or in our minds. I see a red rose. I feel tension in my shoulders. I smell smoke. I’m thinking about my childhood. Pretty straightforward.

According to Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, emotions last around 90 seconds. After that, we’re re-stimulating the neural circuitry.

One of the key ways we re-stimulate this neural circuity is by ruminating about the event. But perhaps at the root of rumination is that we often don’t give ourselves permission to feel the underlying emotion of a difficult event, and instead discharge the physical, emotional energy up to our heads.

If you struggle to clear your mind in meditation, read this: I've spent 10,000 hours in meditation.

On many silent retreats.

Living for months as a Buddhist monk.

And in many quiet, distraction-free, dimly-lit closets.

The longest I've gone without a thought is maybe 48 seconds.