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crisp mattman Profile picture
crisp mattman
@cushbomb
churl
Mar 18, 2020 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
Given the misery that Joe Biden has been directly responsible for creating in this country and around the world, there is no calculus whereby a vote for him is morally superior to voting for Trump. The point here is that voting is NOT a moral question. We confuse it for one because we treat it as a consumer choice and our morality is the sum total of our consumer choices. Morals inform politics, but casting specific votes is a strategic and tactical question.
Oct 10, 2019 • 6 tweets • 1 min read
1. Once upon a time, America was a land of Jeffersonian yeoman farmers, dutifully tending to their land in ruddy good humor. And it was good. But then, the evil Dr. Yakub grew jealous of the stout yeomanry. 2. He went to his island laboratory to create an enemy for the Americans, that would destroy their utopia. After many trials and errors, he finally emerged from his cave with a weapon against the yeomanry: the Robber Barons.
Sep 27, 2019 • 9 tweets • 1 min read
Last View episode of my punishment let’s goooooooooooo. “I’m always country before party.” — Abbie Huntsman. Damn, word?
Sep 24, 2019 • 7 tweets • 1 min read
The View is never better than when the dingbats attempt forensic examination of Ukraine policy. Meghan yelling “let me finish” at the audience.
Sep 20, 2019 • 11 tweets • 1 min read
Oh God Anna Navarro is here today. Joy explaining the whistleblower scandal. Something to do with Hunter Biden who was “involved in some kind of scandal I don’t know what.” Love the fucking news.
Sep 19, 2019 • 6 tweets • 1 min read
“Phones down and heads up, because the View is LIVE!” I would prefer not to. View interviewing the WaPo national security reporter about the whistleblower. Doing the journalisms.
Sep 18, 2019 • 6 tweets • 1 min read
View girls talking Sean Spicer on DWTS. Trading zingers. Doing insights. Meghan references her grandmother. Gonna give that a .25
Sep 12, 2019 • 6 tweets • 1 min read
Abbie Huntsman calls Joe Biden “the adult in the room.” He’s definitely the only one wearing adult diapers that’s for sure. Looking forward to hearing this echo through my head in the endless second before brain death.
Sep 6, 2019 • 6 tweets • 1 min read
Bernie apparently yelled at a baby? But the View ladies are being surprisingly understanding about it? “Babies make me uncomfortable in general.” — Meghan McCain. But Meghan is also concerned that Bernie is going to institute a One-Child Policy.
Sep 5, 2019 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
The View ladies are giving the business to Trump on #sharpiegate. They're even showing people's tweets owning him. It's basically Chapo for people with mortgages. They're going over the details of the Woody Allen case now. I think they're gonna get to the bottom of it, folks.
Sep 4, 2019 • 8 tweets • 1 min read
Blurgh #cushview “I love Joe Biden.” — Abby Huntsman. THIS RULES!