Feeling sad a lot recently. Detransitioning is hard because it means facing reality, and I am struggling to accept that my reality is one where my body is irreversibly altered by artificial hormones and disfiguring surgery. I feel trapped in this body that is a constant reminder of my trauma. I think I am holding onto a delusion that one day I will get my breasts and voice back, even though I know it’s impossible.

I had my breasts removed when I was 17. I am now 21, and the regret and grief I feel about it is overwhelming.

… Growing breasts is strange and uncomfortable. It felt weird to touch or look at them, and so I avoided it. My changing body felt like a problem, and so I dissociated from it to cope. I didn’t think it was possible to ever feel comfortable in my body again.