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Dave Noon Profile picture
Dave Noon
@davenoon1970
Another day, another pointless atrocity.
Apr 19, 2021 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
Death Recorded. I swear to fucking god, she’s gonna start posting about the My Pillow lawsuit any minute now
Nov 2, 2020 • 19 tweets • 4 min read
Trying to distract myself today by feeding petty grievances from years past.

1. Thinking about the time a college friend sank our chances of living in a super cool house because it was “too old,” so instead we lived in a shitty, cookie-cutter apartment complex. Fuck that guy. 2. Between 1999-2001, someone in my building periodically swiped the sports section from my copy of the Minneapolis Star-Tribune. I hope that person has broken at least one leg since then.
Aug 25, 2019 • 15 tweets • 3 min read
Well, this is a laugh riot.

Downing must not realize that I’m an American historian who’s taught 19th century political and cultural history for almost two decades.

So sure, I’ll “bring it.” 🖕🏼 Here’s my original tweet, for reference.

Jan 15, 2019 • 14 tweets • 3 min read
Just so I can keep things orderly, here are all the loathsome, dissolute, and grotesque monarchs and emperors I've been using to blow off steam at the Trump family:
Jan 8, 2019 • 9 tweets • 3 min read
Just past 2:00 a.m. on 7 January 1950, a fire destroyed the St. Elizabeth’s wing of Mercy Hospital in Davenport, Iowa, where more than five dozen mental patients -- nearly all of whom were women -- resided behind wire mesh and bars. Within minutes, a tornado of fire raced uninhibited through elevator and dumbwaiter shafts, consuming much of the three-story, 81-year-old building. By the time more than a hundred firefighters arrived at the hospital complex, there was little to be done for those trapped inside.
Jan 4, 2019 • 11 tweets • 4 min read
On 4 January 1987, speaking in hushed tones to his “Expect a Miracle” television audience, Oral Roberts announced that he needed $4.5 million in "quick money." He asked viewers to sed $100 immediately and lay aside follow-up donations for the next two months. More precisely, Roberts explained that God had instructed him to raise funds for his City of Faith Medical Center in Tulsa, OK, by March 1 of that year; failing that, God would “call me home.” In a subsequent fundraising letter, the Lord's extortionate demands rose to $8 million.
Jan 1, 2019 • 10 tweets • 2 min read
According to Christian tradition, Jan. 1 marks the 8th day of Jesus’ life. Among other things, it is the day on which — following Jewish custom — the Son of Man would have been circumcised. Catholics abandoned the Feast of the Circumcision a half century ago, but you do you. For medieval and early modern Christians, Jesus’ foreskin remained an object of veneration, with numerous reliquary nubs of flesh competing for attention and honor. Charlemagne allegedly offered one to Pope Leo III as a gesture of gratitude for being crowned emperor in 800.