Why are 6' tall well-educated high earning men AND attractive women single?

Modern dating is in a crisis for everyone. It is one of the biggest problems of our time. Let’s break it down with data.

1. Women are more educated than ever, and prefer men the same or more.
Women are getting educated at higher rates than men (47% of women 25-34 have a bachelors vs 37% of men), yet strongly prefer partners of the same education level (81% of couples where one is college-educated have both college-educated). Few men meet this criteria.

2. Women make more money than ever, and prefer men who make more.
College-educated women in cities make MORE than men (women age 25-34 earn >100% of men in 22 large US metros including NYC and DC), yet data shows they are hypergamous, meaning they'd rather date men who make more than them (only 16% of heterosexual marriages have a female breadwinner). Data also shows that women save less than men of commensurate income, meaning the man's income becomes important to keep up their lifestyle if they ever want to purchase a house or settle down. Few men meet this criteria.

3. Women's standards are heightened by dating apps, which force filtering on criteria that are superficial and not long-term focused.
Women are in short supply in dating apps (74% on Tinder, 64% of Hinge is male), and confuse the hookup market for the marriage market. They apply selective filtering given the affordances of the apps (height, looks, education, age, race) and match with men who are "out of their league" and don't want to settle with them (median users message people 10-17%ile more attractive than themselves). When they do want to settle, this group of men self-select for being incompatible on another critical dimension like values, income or personality, leaving women unhappy with the result. Good men who fall short of the initial filter come across too strong and/or feel like a backup and find it hard to love a woman who he can sense is "settling" for him.

4. Social media has polarized both genders.
Both sides have false expectations around dating. For women, they're taught to never settle for less, be an independent girlboss, and that they don't need anyone short of perfection. Men are taught that the only women worth liking having perfect Instagram bodies, are told to date women with fewer sexual partners, that women want them for money, and the world today is just against them in every way. This makes many of them isolate and not enjoy women at all. They see less eye to eye moreso than ever on politics, opinions, and shared interests as a result. The gender “war” in Korea best exemplifies this.

5. Women take longer to find a long term match, but are seen as less attractive with age.
Because of 3, women often date around longer in their most appealing and fertile years. They see a rapid fall off in their own matches after 30 (data shows women desirability peaks at 18-22 while men climbs until 50), when it becomes a race to the bottom of the declining quality of suitors that are interested and their own declining standards: "I should've just been with that one guy from 5yrs ago." When they find a guy, they want to move quickly into marriage and kids which is often too aggressive for men. Although its supposedly taboo to say but men also prefer women with less former partners especially when choosing a spouse, which makes it more difficult for these women (data shows men willingness to commit drops sharply >8 sexual partners)

6. The world is global, and paths diverge more often than before.
Men and women both are increasingly ambitious and will move cities in search of better opportunities. Long distance relationships have lower survival rates, which consume a lot of prime dating years (40% of long distances fail, with an avg separation of 4.5mos).

7. Dating advice reinforces poor behavior.
All of this is exacerbated by people on both sides who are either in a relationship or single offering unhelpful advice like "just suck it up" or "try harder" which makes men and women cement their pre-existing habits. 20%+ of people <30 say their dating guidance primarily comes from TikTok / Instagram.

8. Ambitious women don't want kids more than men. The ones that do struggle to find partners that can afford it.
64% of women under 50 without children don't want kids vs 50% for men. Men often want kids in the former case or can't really afford them in the latter (median cost in metros is $25-32k/yr for a child and 36% of adults cite cost as the major reason for no kids). Either way, it's a bad situation.

Neither women nor men are at fault for this situation society has found itself in, and this post isn’t blaming anyone in particular. The cause is an intricate combination of the state of the economy, access through dating apps, social media and innate mating preferences. If we cannot talk Sources:
bls.gov/charts/usual-w…
robinhood.org/news/the-true-…
pewresearch.org/short-reads/20…
pewresearch.org/social-trends/…
mix999fm.iheart.com/content/2024-0…
luvlink.com/blogs/news/sur…
pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27805420/
bigthink.com/culture-religi…
theblog.okcupid.com/a-womans-advan…
martinvidal.medium.com/dating-apps-ar…

This 67 page AI report on how 300 execs at software startups like Cursor, ElevenLabs, Sierra (revenue $10m-$1b+) use AI just dropped.

I read it all so you don't have to. Top 7 takeaways:

OpenAI is still the #1 model provider in the enterprise, but Claude is second.

1/10 On AI spend.

Companies are spending more on data storage, processing and AI infra than inference and training (quite surprising to me)! Of course, AI talent is by far the most expensive line item.

2/10

Venture Capital Compensation in the US

Many people kept telling me they don't know how VC comp works, so here it is, split by fund size, based on 2024 survey data, 500+ samples. The reason the base (white) + bonus (yellow) doesn't add up to total (green) is because they're all medians, rounded.

We just dropped our consumer AI report today, surveying 5000+ US adults on how they use AI in their daily lives.

I read all 25 pages so you don’t have to. Here are the top 10 learnings:

Nearly 30% of people dating and half of personal coding projects use AI!

1/10 1.8B users use AI every month but only 3% pay today, spending $12B on it.

2/10

No one talks about the real reason driving the ~500k tech layoffs.

Section 174 in the 2017 tax cuts turned engineer salaries from an instant tax deduction into a 5yr write off, causing billions in tax bills.

It even incentivizes offshoring R&D, which has a 15yr write off!

1/4 The numbers are staggering:
— Microsoft: Paid extra $4.8 BILLION in taxes, fired 16,000+ workers
— Meta: Cut 21,000 employees (25% of workforce) after "material" tax increases
— Amazon: 27,000 layoffs concentrated in R&D teams
— Google: 12,000 cuts despite record profits

2/4

Karpathy today said Cursor for Slides needs to exist.. but it already does.

When asked to "Create a detailed data-driven slide deck based on Google's recent financial filings",

It created a stunning 6 page deck with graphs, diagrams IN Google theme!

It's called Genspark. It thinks about the plan of each slide, and it does this unique thing where it generates graphics in Python (matplotlib) and then moves the assets into a landscape static HTML website that it compiles into a slide.

Pretty neat tactic.

The BEST AI report in the world just dropped and I read all 340 pages so you don't have to.

Must-read for frankly, everybody. Here are the top 20 learnings from the report:

ChatGPT has 8x'd growth in 2.5yrs to 800M monthly users.
India at 14% is the #1 largest user base.

1/20 ChatGPT hit 1B searches a day 5.5x quicker than Google.

2/20

If these 3 Japanese companies you've never heard of went down, all modern digital infrastructure (and every AI breakthrough) would grind to a halt.

Here's the story of JSR, Tokyo Ohka Kogyo (TOK) and Shin-Etsu, the most important companies you've never heard of...

1/7 These 3 control 80% of the global EUV photoresist market.

Photoresists are exotic light-sensitive chemicals that enable the patterning of circuits on silicon wafers when UV or EUV light hits these materials through a mask.

How did they achieve this dominance?

2/7

🚨 This was the BEST Google I/O that I can remember.

Google launched over 12 different insane things.

Here is every single one of the launches and the best tweets about them:

1/12 The future of building software.

LLMs are pretty good at generating code, but they're slow. Gemini Diffusion is 10-15x faster than autoregressive models by using diffusion, which used to be for images. This is the 2nd model after Mercury Small to show this.

2/12

https://twitter.com/1297627095330242561/status/1924908812009668915

🚨 BigTech jobs have ZERO growth in the last 3yrs.

Google, Microsoft, Apple, Tesla, Meta, Nvidia and Palantir - the biggest tech employers have collectively stagnated headcount, data shows.

This is why CS majors can’t get jobs. Bigtech hypergrowth era is over.

Here's why:

1/4 — They overhired in the pandemic (2020-2022) during zero interest rates
— Revenue growth of several consumer software products peaked in the pandemic but slowed after it was over
— Higher interest rates force CFOs to juice operating margin

2/4

Compilation of 16 USEFUL things people did with GPT 4o native image generation can do (aside from Ghibli images) in the last 48hrs!

They include
— Full video movies / podcasts / ads
— UI design loop
— 3D model gen

Full Lord of the Rings in Ghibli

1/16

https://twitter.com/47636428/status/1905151190872309907

Videos in different animation styles

2/16

https://twitter.com/69553729/status/1905247775190864381

Google's new AI image editing model is going to kill 99% of Photoshop.

By just describing your image edit in English, you can:
— get passport picture from photo
— make me look like I'm on my way to work
— decorate this house for me
— put these clothes on me
— make a map in a game from these sprites
— animate this sprite
— combine all these faces together
— show this model holding my product
— make me bald / give me hair

You can access Gemini Flash 2.0 experimental on Google AI studio.

This is a 1B+ user product waiting to happen. 1. make me look like I'm on my way to work

https://twitter.com/16535432/status/1900349595718148455

BREAKING DeepSeek just let the world know they make $200M/yr at 500%+ profit margin.

Revenue (/day): $562k
Cost (/day): $87k
Revenue (/yr): ~$205M

This is all while charging $2.19/M tokens on R1, ~25x less than OpenAI o1.

If this was in the US, this would be a >$10B company. Source: github.com/deepseek-ai/op…

Can confirm. GPT 4.5 is hilarious.

"Finish the text:
> Be me
> L3 at Meta / Google
>" Okay I decided to do something that turned out better than I thought. Ran the same prompt for L4-L12.

For those who don't know, you start at L3, L5 is Sr, L6 is Staff / Manager, L7 is Senior staff, L8 is director, L9 is senior director, L10 is VP, L11 is SVP, L12 is CEO

L4

If you haven’t used Grok 3 “Sexy” 18+ mode, drop everything and try it.

I can’t explain how unbelievably messed up this is (and I can’t post a video). This may single handedly bring down global birth rates.

I can’t believe Grok actually shipped this. I should mention this was Grok voice mode, so there was no prompting involved.

The other issue is.. it sometimes completely loses context of what gender it is you and you are 😆

The last 24 hours has had SO much tech news.

— Microsoft Majorana 1 quantum chip
— Google AI co-scientist
— xAI Grok 3 model release
— Clone musculoskeleton
— Claude reasoning coming soon
— Arc institute biological model
— Sakana AI CUDA kernel optimizer

All the threads here: Microsoft

https://twitter.com/20571756/status/1892242895094313420

PDF parsing is pretty much solved at scale now.

Gemini 2 Flash's $0.40/M tokens and 1M token context means you can now parse 6000 long PDFs at near perfect quality for $1
Source: sergey.fyi/articles/gemin…

HUGE Immigration News! The birthright citizenship executive order Trump signed today means children of non-citizens or non-permanent residents will not be US citizens.

Children of Indians who are in the 100+yr green card wait WILL NOT be US citizens.

Applies from Feb 20, 2025. Source: whitehouse.gov/presidential-a…

HUGE: DeepSeek R1 from China reaches o1 level performance! Most important paper of 2025.

They show that using pure RL using GRPO can teach models to reason better and better with more tokens: the first at this scale.

Here are the 4 top research learnings from the paper:

1/5 1. Distilling more powerful models like R1 on smaller base models (Qwen / Llama) outperforms large scale RL training on those base models themselves (like QwQ-32B).

2/5

MEGATHREAD: EB-1s for Indians in the US 2025!

— It's been 2yrs since the priority date has moved past Feb '22
— Indian EB-1 petitions stayed flat this year, at ~12k
— The backlog moved forward by ~200/mo.
The EB-1 backlog is basically stuck.

Let's break it down..

1/12 What is the EB-1?

Indians under the standard EB-2/3 green card category have a 100+yr long wait. This is because of the 7% country cap by category.

This was the initial misconstrued old remark by Sriram that was taken out of context and set off this whole H-1B drama.

2/12

The Superhuman AI for Poker is a timeless research paper.

Poker, unlike Go/Chess, is an imperfect info game. Pluribus, made by now OpenAI engineer, beat 5 pros decisively in 10,000 poker hands, winning 48 milli big blinds/game.

Made a mini demo on rock-paper-scissors too:

1/5 Like humans, Pluribus confirms that limping, calling the “big blind” rather than folding or raising, is suboptimal.

However it disagrees with the wisdom that “donk betting” (starting a round by betting when one ended the previous betting round with a call) is a mistake.

2/5