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D.M. Schmeyer Profile picture
D.M. Schmeyer
@dmschmeyer
Interactive Entertainment Lawyer and the inflection point between fucking around and finding out.
Sep 30, 2023 • 15 tweets • 3 min read
Okay, this guy is actually a pretty perfect example of why doing things pro se is extremely difficult, and extremely risky, and why, if you're going to even try (I recommend you don't), there are some basic things you need to know and practice.

Thread. The reason this dude made his way into a stop on the Kathryn Tours of People Who Practice the Plaxico Burress Litigation Method is pretty simple:

He sued a company, in Texas, left Texas, didn't read the local rules where he sued, and blew a hearing.
Feb 1, 2022 • 23 tweets • 5 min read
This is a howitzer of a complaint.

Standby, let's take a look at this sucker. The first pages are, no other way to put it, eye popping.

The quotes. The strident language used to begin the preliminary statement.
Jun 27, 2021 • 51 tweets • 10 min read
I hate bullies. I hate SLAPPs.

Check out this doozy:
d106vg71wiygj.cloudfront.net/eFileAPIFiling… SLAPPs, if you don't know, are Strategic Lawsuits Against Public Participation.

They're when butthurt Plaintiffs try to use the force and pressure of litigation to silence people and stifle their first amendment rights.
May 1, 2021 • 15 tweets • 3 min read
I worked as a business consultant for 5 years, nearly. I watched some hustles fail and I watched some carve out a *fantastic* situation for themselves.

The single most common change I often advised that turned things for the better was offering better treatment for labor. You are not entitled to labor. In fact, if labor is an expense your business cannot materially and commercially justify, you've either fucked up your business plan or your business plan sucks.
Apr 8, 2021 • 21 tweets • 5 min read
This is one of the dumber laws I've ever seen.

Of course it's facially unconstitutional.

But God, line by line it's farcical. I need a document perusing break. Let's laugh at this for a bit.
Apr 7, 2021 • 6 tweets • 2 min read
That they only attempt to address the number of voters, never this mythical "quality", gives up the Right's game.

Let's be clear- all citizens are stakeholders in our nation and voting is a right.

Let's be clear- MAGAts are the low quality voters they claim to desire excluded. Who is civically illiterate?
Who is detached from reality?
Who is more dependent in the federal government and our tax dollars?
Who offers greater shelter to ideals hostile to democracy?

That the Right can't and won't answer these questions, just dance around them, speaks loud.
Dec 28, 2020 • 9 tweets • 2 min read
He's right y'all. Seriously.

If it comes from Parler? Laugh at it. Nobody over there is a legal thinker.

If it comes from the law professor op ed crowd? Decode it. It's trading on your panic for clout.

I say again: foreseeability, people. Everything is happening as it should. Common sense can get you through a lot of this stuff. Seriously.

If electors can be appointed because the state party simply decides to send them, and if certification is unnecessary in the face of the whims of the VP playing master of ceremonies, what does that mean?
Dec 26, 2020 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
Litigation isn't sedition, y'all.

If you wish it were, check yourself for your authoritarian instincts. "I want the government to punish attorneys who challenge it via its own courts and procedures" is a take so gross, in fact, that the understandable indignation at the bullshit some lawyers get up to doesn't really excuse it.