i remember playing mass effect andromeda and seeing the line "it's 'to whom,' and your goddamn father" (who had just died) and thinking it takes a special kind of cruelty to correct a grieving person's grammar, and that's when I realized the writers had no actual empathy.
that might be a bit harsh, so let me put it this way: when I read that line, I recognized myself, back when I was 17, thinking about the cleverness of the grammar jokes I put into the script (because I loved grammar jokes), not thinking about the drama at all.
and the thing is, people liked my writing a lot. the first death threat i ever got was from someone who was mad I'd stopped writing a particular story they were excited to see the end for. but my work ALWAYS suffered when I got meta with it and tried to wink at the audience
I did some more cleaning. It's hard work but I'm getting there. Also did paperwork I needed to, got healthcare phone calls one and two done, so that should be sorted, emailed something, set up Adios for an Xbox sale later this year, made tea, ordered soap and q-tips
Did a lot
Tomorrow I'm gonna try to finish at least the pitch for Waifu Death Squad and maybe abandoned for a lesser god
was on the xbox backend figuring out how to set sale pricing (it'll go 15% off, since that's as low as we intend to go for a while--but i mean, come on, $15 is what a fuckin dvd costs, it's fine) and saw a couple reviews from people going "it doesn't have multiple endings"
man i don't know if i'll ever make a game with multiple endings
most games I like only have one ending. like halo 3.
working on articles and video games this week. saw a 70" tv on best buy and made whining puppy noises and then closed the tab because my last dental bill was $1338 and the next one will be worse (yes i am upset it wasn't $1337)
i kept my last tv from like 2012 to 2020 and i'm going to try to keep this display until the next console gen, and I'll probably upgrade then as a dev cost but my brain goes "wow, $599 for a 70" samsung? absolutely" and no, just, fuck you, brain.
even if my articles managed to raise $600 this week, and the chance of that is incredibly slim, I'd still have to put all that into paying off the loans incurred when I had to take care of medical debt and shit, and even then it would be way smarter to save up for a car.
my earlier thread talking about how using fiction as therapy for the characters is weird should be an article
probably would want to refine it on the idea that fiction is a thing we engage in to deal with emotions we might not even be directly experiencing.
like, uh, here's an example: i was going to die. i was sure of it. i could feel the rot of the disease taking me. and it was so fucking... just... like I really can't explain it to you. you have to know what despair is, not intellectually, but viscerally, on a cellular level.
1) characters talking out their feelings in a way that feels like it's the writer saying SEE? THEMES 2) time loop stories (because the goal is usually just 'get out' deathloop was real good tho) 3) going into a character's mind as simplistic therapy
i played a game recently, one I really enjoyed, and twice, I went into a character's mind where they were reliving past trauma and basically just did like "generic LA therapist talk" at them and both times it was the absolute low point of the entire narrative.
4) stories where the twist is that you're not in the real world (and have to escape)
I think really the same is true with mind labyrinth stories.
one time a guy got mad at me because i said a unit in a game didn't gel well with the encounter designs/player verbs/level design/etc and so he bragged "you can beat the guy in less than 45 seconds." there was a challenge he didn't know of where you have to do it in 20. me? 15.
he tried to drag me to his pissy fanbase and so I had a bunch of shitty people being ableist at me even though I was literally more skilled than him at playing the game. It wasn't a difficulty thing at all for me. It was "here's why he's incongruous with the overall game flow"
this guy also tried to shit talk me for saying you should change resident evil 4's controls to allow strafing during non-aiming movement because the way leon would have to physically turn right, walk forward, and turn left to sidestep once was poorly made
it's really weird to me when people say that art is not considered immutable. like, one of the points of going to plays is how the performances alter the scripts. we see people do remakes _because_ art is considered mutable. what about sampling? what about subtitles? etc.
i've told the story of the teacher who was telling me how a student of his was leaving a lesson, and the student's mom walked in and freaked because my teacher had drawings all over the floor and she stepped on one and was like "oh no how could you do this to all this art!"
and he's like "they're not art, they're just drawings."
art is not special. it is not sacred. we dip into the well of culture and we pull out what matters to us--a different teacher of mine, the one who taught shakespeare, LOVED seeing different interpretations of Hamlet
here's why miyazaki's position is fucking stupid: imagine 12 year olds playing basketball. their average height is about 4'10". now imagine that shaquille o'neal, whose height is 7'1", rolls up and says "no, no, the net can't be 7 feet, it's too short for me. Make it 10 feet."
our bodies are all different, anyone who thinks that we have the SAME EXPERIENCE because the _GAME_ doesn't change is a fucking dumbass. The only way for 4'10" kids or guys in wheelchairs to play basketball is to lower the fucking net.
this is such a goddamn simple observation, miyazaki's fucking stupid if he actually thinks that.
me: no im good thanks, gonna play star wars with my boys
brain: right but consider: overwhelming despair
me: about what
brain: *shrugs* not having a dog? not having a house? all the pain you're in?
me: no i'm good
brain: well gonna try anyway
apparently the heavy metal poisoning from when i was a kid is still a thing so the doctor has put me on a medicine that supposedly pulls that shit out of my body and man let me tell you, not being able to eat for an hour sucks
to stave off any questions: no, they do not have any idea why my uranium and arsenic levels were high
If I had one dollar per view I would have paid off all my student loans
Nearly 60,000 people saw my work for free and less than 100 paid for it, but like... Hey. It made an impact. It was of benefit to people. When have pundits like Weiss or Yglesias benefited our society as much as me?
if anyone i know supports kyle i want you to go ahead and fling yourselves into the sun. i do not want to know you. i do not want to associate with you. i do not want to be friends with people who are cool with murdering innocent people in the name of racism. thanks. bye.
or, hey, did you hear how one guy owns the majority of all millennial wealth, single-handedly bringing up the entire average for the rest of us? when you factor out the outliers the numbers are much lower
per-capita gdp doesn't mean anything when you average it out
generally the 1980 and 90s were economically better for most americans, at least, as well as people in many other countries around the world. on average, that quality of life has declined significantly and continues to
fascism is a political system that says "we're the best, however, we're also the underdogs," which is a contradictory concept, but it pushes on and goes "because we're the underdogs, violence against the people we're better than is justified"
look im more irritable than normal but im doing my level best not to be mean to this person but if i give you my order number and day i made it and you can say 'i can look this up' and ask 'this order is for a completely different purchase you made on a completely different day?'
well, at that point, I have questions
so, mustering superhuman patience that i as a person who had drills in my face for 3 straight hours and who clearly explained my issue and provided both the date and order number should not have to, i said
let's say I pay everyone on the team $70k a year + benefits. Quick napkin math says that to have an employee, you need to double their compensation to get a rough number, so you're expecting ~about~ $140k per person in costs.
so, if I'm spending $555,555.55 a month for 12 months, that means I can have... about 47 employees.
one thing that keeps getting me about the NFT thing is that the idea is so fucking stupid that many people hear it, understand what it is, think "it's stupid, there's no way anyone would fall for it" and then they think they're stupid because they 'clearly' don't understand
no, it is literally even more stupid than you think it is, and yes, no rational person would research the tech and go "yeah this is a good idea" because it is, in fact, a pyramid of bad ideas. every brick another bad idea.
anyways, the NFT bros are preying on this too. they want you to feel stupid and unprepared, so when they say some stupid bullshit at you and you reply, incredulously, "you mean it's just stupid bullshit?" they can say "you are CONFUSED and DON'T GET IT"