An AU where 6 y.o. Lan Zhan in Yiling is caught by slave traders. A streetkid, Wei Ying, helps him escape-- but they're chased all the way to the Burial Mounds and have to run in. They're presumed dead.

But 13 years later, rumors abound of a little nirvana village inside the BM. The first year is the hardest for sure. They're little kids, unaware of the world. LZ has duelled before, but only shixiongs who took care not to hit him hard or disorder his clothes. WY has taken beatings, but never by monsters that all madly want to rip off his limbs.

modern au where wwx is an ordinary struggling artist who got kicked out of a maths degree. He keeps getting these weirdo cosplayers at his door asking for talismans, unaware that these are cultivators who think wwx is a hermit sage genius cultivator secluding in the common world. They pay well so he draws them whatever they want, but he's really starting to get fed up with the ones who keep insisting he joins their weird magician cults.

"Please reconsider sagacious master!" Cries the man in long robes. "And it's a sect, not a cult!"

"No difference!"

AU where WWX was never a Jiang disciple and died as the Yiling Laozu, disgusted with all those awful evil cultivators-- except for LWJ, the man who held his hand as he died and promised to hide away A-Yuan, the only survivor of the Wens.

Then he woke up again, in MXY's body. On the day WWX died, HGJ was the first to get past the highest defences atop the Burial Mounds during the siege against YLLZ. WWX had been trying to destroy the Stygian Tiger Seal when the cultivators had attacked, and the moment of distraction costed him everything.

someone write me a historical au where LWJ is a physician going from the imperial capital back to gusu and on the mountain road his carriage is robbed by bandits and the bandit group kidnaps him. He gets taken away to their hideout, mouth gagged and hands tied. It's deep winter so LWJ's bundled up in furs, and only some of his face is properly visible. The bandits are incredibly hurried, arguing and rushing as they pull the struggling LWJ through their walled-off stronghold. LWJ's servants get locked away while he's brought deeper.

soulmate au where you dream future visions of all the biggest death risks your soulmate will go through so you can protect them better. Cloud Recesses Wangxian %1000 do not even have the faintest thought that the men they see in their dreams might be one another. LWJ is angry scared and confused by his soulmate, who in his visions seems to be an evil demon suffering in hell. How is a normal, let alone good or just, human being supposed to ever fall into such straits?

The idea that that might be bright and cheerful WWX?? Impossible.

Fav WWX's parents live headcanon is young LWJ dealing with his hate and attraction towards WWX by actively comparing him to Wei Changze, who looks like a DILF WWX and is kind and polite and respectful to everyone-- and ending up with a huge and embarassing baby crush on WCZ. WWX all day every day every moment: LAN ZHAN LAN ER GONGZI LAN ER GEGE LAN WANGJI LAN ZHAN LAN ZHAN LAN--

LWJ: 😠 HMPH.

WCZ, just once: Good morning Lan er gongzi.

LWJ: 🥺 Good morning Senior Wei ❤️

Wangxian transmigration superhero au where the terrible supervillain YLLZ is killed by the hero HGJ, his archenemy. As HGJ's sword of shining light goes through his chest, he laughs, coughs out a mouthful of blood, and whispers viciously; "Let's be enemies in our next life too." The sword is wrenched back out of his body.

Around them, in the ruins of the Old City, the army of heroes who had gathered to destroy YLLZ start cheering loudly.

Looking at him from above with those harsh eyes, HGJ doesn't even deign to reply.

WWX slumps down to his knees.

Now you've made me think... College student Lan Wangji with his new dating profile which includes one (1) nude photo that he forgot he posted, getting his first message from a rich eccentric (obv WWX) asking to pay thousands for LWJ's nudes to print and frame in his penthouse.

https://twitter.com/ana__cp/status/1613934353717030912

Why does he have a nude in his dating profile? Bc he blacked out after his bestfriend Mianmian convinced him to drink for the first time ever, and they both got drunk as hell and LWJ's a romantic so MM (drunk) decided to make him a dating profile to finally find him a date.

I had an angsty dream about @/cerbykerby's wwx reincarnated as the emperor's son au and it was amazing so just listen to me make a story out of it. WWX is summoned by a botched Body-Sacrificing Ritual into the body of the fourth imperial prince of a large Empire bordering Qishan. And this isn't just the powerless mortal Empire of the cultivator world we know-- this is an Empire ruled by a cultivating family, with an army of powerful cultivators. WRH was always in battle with them, on and off, and truly the ones that he emulated at his conquering attempt.

(tw: themes of self-harm)
Throwing some japanese mythology-inspired crane wife au angst at you and vanishing :D #mdzsww #wipwednesday For people who don't know: In the original crane wife myth, a poor villager saves a crane and then the crane returns as a beautiful woman and marries him. Later, as they're very poor, the crane uses her feathers to weave expensive cloth to sell. (There are many versions tho)

You know what would be great? A dimension-travel fic where Xue Yang, number one disciple of the Yiling Wei Sect, dies in a stupid nighthunt only to wake up in a strange world where he is a famous deliquent in Kuizhou (????) and an thirteen-year-old street kid (!!!!). XY: Answer my questions.

The other street people who XY beat up: *crying* we REALLY don't know! You've been here your whole life!

XY: ...

XY, pissed off: I don't know how or why but this is definitely the fault of that awful annoying Shifu of mine. No other explanation to it!

Soulmate AU where WWX does good recklessly and loses everything all at once. He is left trying to cling to a semblance of a good life with only a little kid and a crammed, dark apartment.

Lonely, exhausted and far too drunk at 3am, he curses under his breath and plants the seed.

https://twitter.com/kat8cha1/status/1564290977686241281

Soulmate seeds, they were rare at some point probably. They're really worthless now, after being mass grown by profit-driven companies. They're sold in plastic packets like jellybeans. You can buy one at the local gas station alongside gum and soda like some novelty item.

I am now frothing at the mouth to write a story where wangxian go nighthunting in an obscure village with a marriage-blessing deity, accidentally end up drunk and wake up in a blessed marriage with a magical bond they can't break.

https://twitter.com/galacticidiots/status/1560972190874537985

Yes they went and did their three bows in front of the nearest deity. WWX remembers a few vague snapshots of the night. LWJ remembers exactly nothing. Now they're magically married and if they go against their marriage vows the marriage-blessing deity will be sure to punish them.

#warprizejiseason The Sunshot Campaign was going to be lost, and the one suffering the most was the Lan Sect; already weakened by internal strife and yet cornered again and again by the vengeful Wen Sect.

So, after long contemplation, Sect Leader Lan came to a decision. It'd been more than a decade since the previous Madam Lan ran off with LQR, and the previous Sect Leader was continuously unavailable. The current Sect Leader Lan was chosen as a last effort from amongst the branch families to lead until the 11 year old heir could be reclaimed.

I don't say this enough but I love love LOVE aus where the Lan Clan are connected to/actually are Chang'e's Jade Rabbits. Jade Rabbit LWJ who has tripped and fallen out of the moon meets Very Tired Human WWX's messy 1 room apartment. It's just so funny to me. In a single bedroom:

There is WWX who sometimes manages to find time to take shower between his 4 part time jobs and subsists exclusively on instant noodle.

There is also LWJ who is a shining, graceful deity in magical silks striding through the heaps of laundry and judging.

AU where on that visit to Yiling when LZ is only five years old, he gives the nameless street kid in rags his new toy and then, when the kid's stomach grumbles, the fancy silver hair accessories in his hair.

"Wa-wait, gongzi!" The kid cries out, wide eyed, but LZ already gone. The kid hurriedly goes after him, but LZ is too deep into the crowd to be found. Clutching the hoard of expensive things in his two tiny hands, the kid (A-Ying, his parents used to call him, but nobody else long since) runs around the marketplace.

He has to return the silver.

Okay-- another #WarprizeJiSeason idea: WWX, at the end of all possible choices, Shijie dead, the Wens gone, his reputation in tatters, activates the one enormous array he kept hidden from all. Time-space travel magic.

Take me back to when they were all alive, he screams at it. But unbeknownst to him, it is impossible for two versions of a person to exist in the same universe. But WWX is desperate, and his array is a result of incredible, mad force. Instead of inactivating, the array shoots him to a different universe-- one where WWX died at age five.

#WarprizeJiSeason YLLZ is sick of WRH and wants to just help end him, but the sects insist that he ask for SOMETHING bc they fear he'll say they owe him otherwise.

Fed up, YLLZ randomly snatches a bunny from the CR at the end of the meeting, declares it his prize, and leaves. As he is thrown into a basket and carried off as a warprize, Bunji, who was injured during the last skirmish and hasn't been able to shift back into his human form, is now greatly regreting hanging around the meeting hall to learn what the Big Bad YLLZ had to say.

#WarprizeJiSeason but with a twist: The Great Evil Yiling Huli, nine-tailed demon fox, destroys a Wen stronghold and finds a pretty blue egg in the treasury, alongside books and jade. It's near death. Pitying, WWX takes it with him.

Meanwhile, Dragonji is going crazy from worry. The egg that he lay by a twist of fate was in the Cloud Recesses during the Wen attack. It was viable, it was going to be his child, he had already chosen names and made a seventy step plan for its future-- it's been missing for more than a year.

Today I learned that sleepwalking can run in the family. >:3 Sleepwalking LWJ who inherits it from Mama Lan, but Mama Lan was kept in a locked room so for the Lans the logical step to keep LWJ safe is to lock him in his room at night. Despite misconceptions (Sleepwalking Murderer is just. wrong.), sleepwalking is normally a peaceful activity for everyone else involved! Unless the sleepwalker's a competitive martialartist and youre a frail old man trying to push and yell at her while on top of very high stairs.

Question: How do I stop twitter from recommending my tweets to people?? It's attracting the 'ew characterisation' weirdos who don't let people have fun without planning an entire fucking character arc for a spontaneous thread written in just 3 hours. Next time I'm going to write LWJ even MORE out of character because I'm mad now