Erika Hersteria Heidewald Profile picture
i make neurodivergent goth pop to drown out intrusive thoughts, podcast Aliens Watching Reality TV, & sometimes i’m Hersteria. STREAM WHENEVER I DIE 6/16/23
eDo Profile picture Diana Roby Profile picture Special Learning, Inc. Profile picture 4 subscribed
Mar 20, 2023 6 tweets 2 min read
i find it really disrespectful that the headlines say Amanda Bynes was "found" naked and alone and "placed" on a psychiatric hold - removing her agency. she was able to recognize that she was in psychosis, ask someone for help, and call 911 herself. that's fucking impressive amanda bynes demonstrated a really impressive level of self awareness and commitment to her mental health. she's clearly been doing the work - she understands her illness, checks in with herself, and probably had a plan for how to seek help once she recognized signs of psychosis
Mar 20, 2023 4 tweets 1 min read
it took a YEAR but we finally found this precious baby the perfect home with people who have experience helping animals in crisis and can give him a safe and happy life. now i just have to drive him 1300 miles to get there!! can you help me help oliver?

gofundme.com/f/oliver-get-t… i’m just a regular ass person who had a traumatized lil pit bull walk up to me on the street one day - i don’t have help from a rescue organization or anything like that. i can’t afford to do this and it’s gonna be fucking hard, i’m just gonna do it anyway
Feb 12, 2023 10 tweets 3 min read
i have to do something i never thought i would do and i could use all the help i can get. i LOVE my dog oliver. but i have to find him a new home :( he developed a fear of my other dog otis during quarantine and after two years of trying to make it work, this isn’t good for him. small brindle dog looks int... the basics - oliver is 4, he’s well trained, he’s lazy and cuddly and runs around in circles for ten minutes a day then goes back to sleep, he’s perfect. we live in austin texas but i would drive him to alaska if that meant finding him the right home where he’d be happy and safe little brindle dog oliver l...
Nov 2, 2022 4 tweets 1 min read
sad reminder that we actually have no fucking idea how many people are dying from covid because all the people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s dying of heart attacks and strokes a matter of weeks after getting covid aren’t included. those are just an epidemic of fucking coincidences a close family member in her early 50s had a stroke this year two weeks after getting covid and the doctors are still like “well it was probably your stress and not eating a balanced diet and bla bla bla who knows but definitely something that was your fault and not from covid”
Nov 1, 2022 5 tweets 1 min read
every now and then someone will tell me that they never lie “and never will no matter how uncomfortable it makes people to hear the truth” or some shit but it simply does not impress me that you’ve never had to lie for your survival and you think that makes you morally superior most of the time i defend autistic people from the assertion that we are rigid or black-and-white thinkers because i think neurotypicals are at least equally rigid (at different times and for different reasons) but it does bother me when people think lying is always bad & wrong
Oct 29, 2022 8 tweets 2 min read
remember that wild news story around ten years ago about the guy who did a bunch of bath salts, attacked a random guy, and ate his face off? did you know he wasn’t actually on bath salts? yeah the cops made that up to justify more drug arrests. he ate that guy’s face 100% sober This is my source: Drug Use for Grown-Ups by @drcarlhart. The police lied so they could expand their war on drugs and lock up more people for the crime of putting a substance into their own body. Miami outlawed bath salts because of this incident that didn’t involve bath salts book cover says Drug Use for Grown-Ups: Chasing Liberty in t
Oct 28, 2022 4 tweets 2 min read
It is intellectually dishonest and morally repugnant to pretend Alison Singer’s biased and superficial analysis holds any importance on this topic when people like Niko Boskovic who were assigned these labels have already rejected them and provided superior alternative language https://t.co/Owx6QYcgjf


screenshot of Niko Boskovic’s blog post found here https://www.ocdd.org/march-2022-blog-post/
https://www.ocdd.org/march-2022-blog-post/
https://www.ocdd.org/march-2022-blog-post/
those are really wordy screenshots bc i screenshot almost this entire blog post but i hope people read Niko’s perspective because it not only demolishes that spectrum essay but also provides a more helpful and accurate way to describe these experiences

ocdd.org/march-2022-blo…
Oct 28, 2022 4 tweets 1 min read
i hate when people notice who you are and are not following on social media and interpret meaning into it. i just now noticed that i was still following someone on instagram who has hated my guts for at least two years, i am definitely not sending secret messages with this shit actually though it would kinda be a hoot if for the last couple of years she absolutely did notice that i still followed her and was like WHAT is your DEAL bro don’t you know i hate your GUTS just MOVE ON
May 31, 2022 5 tweets 1 min read
so you see women starve, lose their hair, damage their teeth, and lose an unimaginable amount of time out of their lives counting calories, weighing themselves, and suffering in a loop of shame and despair - and you want to cry because a man had to wear a green shirt? let me wear a fucking green shirt & cgi whatever body you want on me! that would be a dream compared to the weight standards of my actual body that were put on me when i was acting, the dream i eventually had to quit so i could focus on therapy to recover from my eating disorder
May 31, 2022 4 tweets 2 min read
i posted this video about the language i made up as a kid on tiktok a couple days ago bc i thought it was funny and figured some autistics would relate. then i went to sleep and didn’t open tiktok for 24 hours. now it has 800,000 views?? and hundreds of people want to LEARN it?? nobody is even making fun of me?? are we sure this is the same dimension i grew up in
May 31, 2022 4 tweets 1 min read
tonight @hejitsfrida told me that she’s never spent 20 minutes in the bathroom in her entire life and i can’t stop thinking about it. that’s what a functional digestive system is like?? she can’t imagine what could take 20 minutes in the bathroom. i can’t wrap my head around this this is apparently why able-bodied neurotypicals always ask me what i’ve been doing when i was in the bathroom for 20 minutes bc they literally can’t imagine what could take so long and just .. wtf. i’m kinda mad now. how dare they have such easy lives
May 30, 2022 12 tweets 3 min read
i think it’s sometimes very annoying for other people but my brain really just does reframe everything in a way that’s positive, helpful, or useful. for years i had no idea that i was this positive of a person bc i was depressed but it turns out i’m a silver linings kind of bitch so interesting, right after i wrote that i came across this video that gives some insight into this very process. it’s not some kind of toxic positivity thing where i think you’re not allowed to feel “negative” emotions or acknowledge problems - my brain just won’t stop there
Jul 10, 2021 4 tweets 1 min read
how the fuck is the nyc flood not trending and i had to learn about it from other people showing me tiktoks?? people swimming in the subway seems like news to me please do not swim in the nyc subway, you will get a disease up your coochie i am sure of it
Jul 10, 2021 5 tweets 2 min read
with complete, unreserved respect for everyone who identifies with this tweet, i know stuff like this was kinda alienating and depressing for me so i just want to say it is also ok to work through it and let it go, if that is your process. it doesn’t *have to* affect you forever i would never pressure someone to “just get over” assault. but for some of us, the idea that you have to carry around that trauma for the rest of your life is just as awful as someone telling you to get over it. people process differently & different processes can both be healthy
Jul 9, 2021 4 tweets 1 min read
i got to see the inside of my sinuses at the ear nose and throat doctor today and honestly they reminded me of petra. very beautiful. except for the black mold growing on them to be fair we don’t know for sure what it is yet, just what it looks like, so she is going to grow it in a petri dish and find out. what a fascinatingly gross job she picked! it was also on my eardrums and i’m not even upset bc i’m too busy feeling RIGHT
Jun 16, 2021 10 tweets 3 min read
if you want some proof doctors don’t know shit about weight and the concept of fat as something you gain by eating 3,500 excess calories per pound is very flawed, here’s how much my legs swelled up within 20 minutes when the ER doc said she saw no swelling, my legs are just fat fatphobia and the idea that it’s some consequence of personal failure is a weird irrational societal delusion we cling to for its power as a tool of public shame and control. it’s really not possible that i ate 35,000 calories in 20 minutes, digested it, and stored it as fat.
Jun 16, 2021 55 tweets 13 min read
just wondering um what do y’all think is generally the oxygen percentage represented by a pulse oximeter that means you should go to the ER i’m ok sorry if i made you worry, i was in the 50s for a minute but i got my O2 to high 80s pretty fast. i certainly know 50s is hospital numbers but i can’t let myself just stay there and expire when i know how to raise it so i did that. this is right now. not dying! just tense
Jun 15, 2021 5 tweets 1 min read
i’ve had people apologize for being too concerned about my health or DMing me advice and i just want y’all to know that i am so not upset by that, twitter has been life support this week. it means a lot to have people who see what’s happening & are concerned for me ❤️ thank you one of the hardest things has been how isolating it’s been for frida and me. she’s been with me every step of the way but she’s missed nights of sleep to take me to the ER or help me through an episode or call off work last minute bc i can’t breathe well so she won’t leave me
Jun 15, 2021 7 tweets 2 min read
do people realize that when their first response to everything i say is trying to find a way for it to not be true, they are constantly saying they think i am stupid and they are smarter in their zero seconds of thinking than i was in my months of thinking and meticulous research maybe when people do it they think they’re the only one who does that to me when actually most people have a tendency to immediately disagree with basically everything i say and it is one of the main reasons i don’t like to talk to most people about anything personal or sensitive
Jun 14, 2021 13 tweets 3 min read
so by a miracle i got an appointment with a rheumatologist today and right beforehand in the parking garage an old man in a suburban blocked me in on purpose with his car in both lanes, put his parking brake on, and wouldn’t let me leave so i screamed bloody fucking murder the parking attendant came over, tried to make me calm down, refused to talk to the man blocking me in and harassing me, and he tried to make me back out of the parking garage a different way. i was getting claustrophobic and furious so i just fucking SCREAMED
Jun 14, 2021 84 tweets 17 min read
I need to talk to *the* lymph expert in Los Angeles and I am requesting Twitter’s help. Especially if there is a person who knows about malformations of lymph vessels in hypermobile people, that’s who I need to talk to as soon as possible so I’m trying every avenue I can. I’m just going to be way too honest and share too much information because I don’t know how else to do it and this is my only priority right now. Some test results came in and combined with some recent physical experiences, I know that my abdomen is filling with lymph fluid.