Erika Heidewald, Proud Autistic Bitch Profile picture
if i make you mad i was just kidding, otherwise i meant it. respectability-politics-free zone. social constructs aren’t real. #actuallyautistic any pronouns
eDo Profile picture giulio rospigliosi Profile picture 3 added to My Authors
27 Apr
You will understand the autism industry a lot better when you recognize that it's a right wing political movement as well as a cash cow. Neurotypical parents who hate the adult autistic community don't want their autistic kids to become blue-haired trans leftists
They really do fixate on colorful hair. They will get a second mortgage on their house to pay for their kid’s torture in the hopes that kid will never grow up and dye their hair an unusual color
The rightwing political beliefs underpinning the anti-autism movement are not even really concealed. Autism Speaks was founded with rightwing billionaire money, the anti-vax movement is a uniting issue on the right, and they openly tweet about why they hate autistic adults
Read 15 tweets
27 Apr
It is mind-blowing how fucking awful autism “experts” are at understanding autistic people. They get very clear data that means exactly what it is - in this case, neurotypical parents value self control and autistic people value cooperation - and ruin it with flagrant projection
They literally found evidence of a key difference between neurotypical and autistic people - our VALUES that inform how we socialize - and invalidated it with a pathetic emotional interpretation based on their own weak sense of self-esteem. We don't lie to ourselves, you do!
Hmm, what could this data possibly mean? That autistic people value cooperation over self-control? No, they must be so deeply ashamed of their lack of self-control that they lie to themselves to avoid the pain. No evidence needed, that's what my feelings said so it must be true
Read 9 tweets
27 Apr
Neurotypical people really need to learn that this is erasure and gaslighting. It's not kindness. We're not saying this about ourselves as an insult to ourselves and to show that you see it that way is hurtful and will damage the trust between us
If someone comes to you and tells you with complete certainty that they have figured out they’re neurodivergent, absolutely nothing good will come out of you doubting them. Denying, minimizing, or questioning it will only damage your relationship and make them feel isolated.
When someone is telling you they figured out they’re neurodivergent, they have put infinitely more time into thinking about it than you have. They are sure. You just fucking heard of the idea of them being neurodivergent and you want to tell them you know better? You don’t.
Read 5 tweets
25 Apr
Honestly I have a hard time seeing how it’s possible that parents dont know ABA is abuse. These videos physically hurt to watch, I’m still on edge from it. How do you ignore your child’s distress & force them into more discomfort for your convenience? #AutismAwareness #SayNoToABA
the video of the family in the grocery store... They should literally have their daughter taken away. I'm sorry but I don't know how else to say it besides that is sociopathic behavior. in public torturing their child who’s desperately trying to flee and they are pleased! happy!
They remind me of horror movies where a serial killer dresses up his female victims & forces them to pretend to have a tea party with him or something and then when they try to escape he murders them and cries about how they ruined it. Those are the vibes. Creepy coercive bonding
Read 7 tweets
25 Apr
honestly the impulse people have to find veganism alienating and “off” is part of the problem. i’ve been minding my business eating my chickpeas for 12 years and i usually avoid telling people bc they’re cruel & antagonistic about it. the instinct to belittle empathy is a problem
idk why people respond to finding out i’m vegan by being super mean about it and trying to upset me, idk why they want to tell me about all the meat they eat and say they’re gonna eat extra bc i don’t eat it but i’m pretty sure it has something to do with why the world sucks
if i tell someone i’m plant-based or just that i don’t eat meat they ask if i’m an animal rights person or say “thank god you're not one of those animal rights people.” and all along, i haven’t said shit to them besides explaining why i have to politely decline eating something
Read 6 tweets
25 Apr
i honestly think modern western medicine knows nothing about neurodivergent people and neurodiversity is about more than just our brains - we are different in almost every way so outside of acute injuries, doctors can’t really help us bc we don’t exist in their worldview
i’ve been thinking a lot about the extremely high comorbidity rate with autism, POTS, EDS, and MCAS... that’s every system in your body, every organ. all working differently than in the abled NT “standard.” that’s an entirely different organism that has different survival needs
sorry for the impersonal language, i’ve been fascinated by realizing that my body absolutely does not abide by the rules i was taught about how bodies and brains are “supposed to” function, and it’s illuminating to see it as a different kind of human. i’m not what i thought i was
Read 10 tweets
25 Apr
what does @NEXTforAUTISM really stand for? this essay by one of their board members who’s also part of producing #ColorTheSpectrum about how she abused and abandoned her autistic son for not being fun and making her feel loved makes it pretty clear! #AutismAcceptanceMonth #autism
read the whole thing yourself still up on their website bc apparently they’re proud of this shit

nextforautism.org/news/twenty-mi…
i knew that all they care about is having a kid who makes them feel loved and important enough but god damn she fucking admitted it in print. they’re not even ashamed of it. she describes HER SON like a curse or inanimate object that stole her chance at the son she wanted to have
Read 6 tweets
24 Apr
fascinating paper on how the diagnostic criteria for autism in the DSM V were agreed on. look at Member C’s statements. That’s one of the people responsible for defining autism in the DSM. A guy who thinks people fake autism to escape marital problems

researchportal.port.ac.uk/portal/files/1…
This is why you can't take this shit to heart. There are no truths waiting for you in diagnosis. Nobody knows what they're doing. There are no experts distilling essential truths, no definitive tests. There’s just a bunch of interpretation of behavior by many people for decades
any time you doubt yourself, just think of Member C. He doesn't doubt himself, he has shit for brains, and he’s ruining autistic people’s lives. They don't know more about autism than you do. They're not the experts.
Read 4 tweets
23 Apr
society pathologizes all of our behaviors and then when we notice, people yell at us for pathologizing our behaviors
“everybody does that! Stop pathologizing normal behaviors.” ah, so you've noticed our pathologized behaviors are actually normal
“everybody does that! Are you saying everyone is neurodivergent?” Not everybody but if you are then there's a pretty good chance most of the people you know are, too
Read 4 tweets
23 Apr
it’s so weird, maybe we’re so “high functioning” bc we weren’t systematically abused as much and were allowed to develop into our adult brains. Maybe if you don't break people, they function better. Maybe people function better when they're not overstimulated & traumatized. Weird
Maybe if we weren't systematically abused at all and none of us were forced to endure overstimulation to appear normal and all of us were allowed to develop normally into the autistic adults we are supposed to be, we would all “function” perfectly as we were supposed to 🤔
Maybe the more you traumatize someone by trying to make them into someone else, the more it harms their ability to function. And maybe then labeling them “low functioning” because of damage you inflicted is pretty fucking evil. Hmm.
Read 6 tweets
23 Apr
We have one week until #ColorTheSpectrum. We're not going to stop it from happening but we could make it a PR disaster & that is what will stop them from doing these events in the future. I’m going to make YouTube videos & TikToks about it every day this week. Flood the hashtags
The livestream itself is going to be interactive. I don't know exactly how it will work, but we should be in there, interacting. There will be plenty of people tuning in on Friday who were not paying attention to the hashtag prior to that evening. It’s an opportunity for us.
Keep trying to get people to drop out, the Youtubers are probably reachable. Try to get them to make public statements. The celebrities are probably involved bc of Robert Smigel, he and his wife made The Night of Too Many Stars & work with Next for Autism nextforautism.org/news/twenty-mi…
Read 7 tweets
23 Apr
I USE STRONG LANGUAGE ON PURPOSE FOR POLITICAL REASONS. USING STRONG LANGUAGE IS NOT POINTLESS EMOTIONAL VENTING, IT IS HOW YOU GET PEOPLE TO HEAR YOU AND HOW YOU CHANGE CONVERSATIONS IN THE PUBLIC SPHERE.
Don't tone police autistic people using strong language to talk about the impact of #ColorTheSpectrum and don’t remind us that “they just don’t know better!” it’s classic white moderate respectability politics bullshit and you’re going to drag us back into the last century.
Have y'all noticed what actually creates change? It's not telling people that they are already good but you have a suggestion on how they could be better. It's telling people that they are causing harm. They must see themselves getting bad PR & want to avoid it. get cynical.
Read 11 tweets
23 Apr
I keep seeing people say they identify with things autistic people are saying online so they're thinking it's time to see a doctor and pursue diagnosis and it makes me sad bc they’re usually adult AFABs and that means they’re not going to find what they’re looking for
If you think you might be autistic but you're not sure so you want to know more, the last fucking thing you should be doing is going to a doctor. It is a near certainty that you will leave having learned nothing true about autism or yourself & feeling invalidated or traumatized
If you do really need to pursue a medical autism diagnosis, I would absolutely not walk in there without a rock solid understanding of yourself & your convictions, ready to advocate for yourself and what you need. you have to be ready to counter & withstand misinformation & bias
Read 6 tweets
22 Apr
We're literally fighting to not be extinguished from the earth but standing up for us doesn't get you any clout so nobody bothers. We could all die & it wouldn't even be a trending topic. fuck, we have to come up with an ice bucketesque challenge they can get clout from don’t we
who is dead enough inside and understands neurotypical people well enough to come up with a good idea for this? I have the first one down but i would not trust my judgment on the second part
Light a Puzzle Piece on Fire Challenge
Read 4 tweets
22 Apr
Sometimes I just really want to challenge neurotypical supporters of the autism industry to a brain competition. I want to know exactly what they think is superior about their brain and then defeat them in every single category
It's strange but every time I ask a neurotypical who supports research to “prevent autism” what they think is superior about their brain compared to mine and what reasons they have for believing I should not have been born they never give me an answer
If it's true that autism is a developmental disorder, then there must be some things their brain can do that mine can't that we could test, perhaps onstage at school auditorium, like a spelling bee. I just feel like if being them is better, they should have to prove it.
Read 5 tweets
21 Apr
it's pretty pathetic the autism industry can't get more adult autistic people to defend their “therapy.” You literally have a brainwashing program you put some kids in for 40 hours a week & tell their parents to maintain all the time & you can't even brainwash them to support you
how good is your brainwashing program supposed to be if you can't even brainwash most autistic people into saying your brainwashing program is good
When you have that much access to a kid for years and years, utilizing all that parental shame, you can brainwash people into being murderers! Kids are vulnerable, you can make them believe anything. But you can't even make most autistics believe ABA is good?! You suck at this!
Read 9 tweets
20 Apr
I’M SO FUCKING SICK OF PEOPLE THINKING I DON’T HATE MYSELF BECAUSE MY LIFE WAS EASY AND PEOPLE WERE NICE TO ME. I DON’T HATE MYSELF BECAUSE I AM NOT THE PROBLEM. I JUST DON’T WANT TO FUCKING DIE. I DON’T WANT SYSTEMIC ABLEISM TO KILL ME. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU
If you think this, fuck you. You're walking around wounded? I did that, and then I reached the point where I had two choices. I could accept myself and try to create a life I could survive in, or I could die. I fought for this perspective on myself. I sacrificed everything else.
I have had one incredible privilege and it's that my mom loves and accepts me. My neurodivergence isn't a minor part of myself, it's everything I am. I don't have any other part of myself. And even my mom didn't understand why I couldn't make it. Why I couldn't learn to survive
Read 40 tweets
20 Apr
I hate when someone I haven't seen for a while asks me what I've been up to because I have no fucking idea what to say. I've been in my house, I don't know. I think about a lot of stuff. I don't even know what I would go out in the world and do anymore? But I'm good
I was trying to think of stuff to say so I said that I'm almost fully vaccinated but then admitted that I don't I think I'm going to start going anywhere, I don't know what I would even go do bc my old life is dead. They were like “oh no that's not true!” but it’s definitely true
I kinda laughed and said, “what am I gonna do, call up my old friends?” I was joking because that seems clearly absurd to me, I don't even remember what I was like before the pandemic. They said it’ll get back to normal soon and I was like oh no i think I'll find a new life
Read 4 tweets
20 Apr
It's weird to hear people talk about how much they hate their ADHD traits that I also have. it never occurred to me to hate them bc there's no point in hating the basic unchangeable building blocks of yourself. It's like hating that I have a skeleton. My body was built around it
When I first had people tell me my ADHD must not be as bad because they can’t focus for more than 10 minutes I realized it never occurred to me to see that as a flaw. I always externalized the issue. Things get boring after 10 minutes. I don't want to do one thing for too long
I don't want to be good at being bored, I don't want to be bored. There is so much fascinating shit to do and learn in this world and people spend so much time on pointless busywork, wasting time, acting like we have eternity on this planet but all the minutes feel precious to me
Read 11 tweets
20 Apr
putting aside personal beliefs for a moment and speaking practically - if there are two ways to approach this issue, one where the solution is to end systemic ableism and the other where the solution is to end ADHD, might i remind everyone that only one of those is possible?
I don't understand this obsession with defending internalized ableism about ADHD. Not having ADHD is not an option. That is not on the table. Creating a more universally accessible world & fighting stigma and oppression so people don't have to hate themselves is an option
Let's say for the sake of argument that getting rid of ADHD would make your life better. You can’t! All you can do is make this life better or worse for people with ADHD. You can encourage people to hate themselves or not. Why choose to make this life worse? it's the only option.
Read 4 tweets
19 Apr
The world is so used to seeing autistic people as sweet, passive eternal children easy to manipulate to stay in their place or antisocial screaming monsters locked in their rooms for the good of society and it's so cool to watch the community defy every stereotype & speak out
I know it feels like you've been screaming into a void saying the same things for a long time but we really are entering a new stage we haven't been in before. The autism industry has had a strategy to divide and conquer - sort by functioning labels, turn us against each other
They threw stereotypes at us so we'd run away from them, prove how not autistic we can be to garner their respect. They spend billions on brainwashing us, lying to the public, lobbying doctors, trying to shame us into conformity. But they don't actually know how our brains work
Read 5 tweets