ranking the Minnesota state flag submissions based on how menacing their loons are:

The ladyslippers-as-spots lure you into a false sense of security, but that glinting red eye can’t be hidden

🐟🐟🐟⚪️⚪️

3/5 terrified walleyes I would die to protect her

🐟⚪️⚪️⚪️⚪️

1/5 terrified walleyes, 5/5 in my heart

okay so

we're staying at a hotel by the ocean

and there's this dark blur outside the window and something goes SPLAT and I'm like oh no did a bird fly into our window?

reader, no.

it was so much better than that.

I think I want to talk about this a little

https://twitter.com/danaparish/status/1559380530197458945

post pandemic-onset, I interact regularly with very few people. I knew almost none of them before March 2020. We all live in Minneapolis.

May's zine was about neighborhood agates! Lake Superior agates are the state gemstone of Minnesota. Brought down by the glaciers, they are common enough to be easily spotted in asphalt or concrete.

Here are some from my neighborhood.

MINNEAPOLIS GOTHIC

35W is under construction. 35W has always been under construction. Your friend’s mother says she remembers driving the entire stretch once, long ago. You don’t believe her.

a squirrel tries to make eye contact with you. You know better than to acknowledge it. It’s Monday, and the mayor is wearing a blue Henley and a baby. It’s Tuesday, and the mayor is wearing a blue Henley and a baby. It’s Wednesday, and the mayor is wearing a blue Henley and a baby. How many identical shirts does he have, you wonder. How many identical babies.

eugenics isn't a fun "gotcha!" to celebrate or joke about

https://twitter.com/OccupyDemocrats/status/1541074232259608577

if you don't see the eugenics part yet, I can help.

it's wrapped gently in "financial and emotional stability," neutral-sounding qualifiers that seem harmless on their face

now think about: who decides what constitutes financial and emotional stability?

okay so a neat thing about QUENCH is that it's an extant causative form of a word that no longer exists in English!

https://twitter.com/MortuaryReport/status/1509252803826434048

to understand what's going on here, the first thing we need to establish are causative verbs

A causative verb is a verb that, well... causes (or makes!) something.

For example, if you ELECTRIFY something, you make it electric. If you UGLIFY something, you make it ugly.

does anyone have some good sovcit drama for me to read please or maybe something about that libertarian town that was taken over by bears

wrestling announcer: she’s kick-drunk

wrestling announcer: get it, kick-drunk?

wrestling announcer: like punch-drunk, but she was kic—

OTHER wrestling announcer, tersely: yeah, kick-drunk, got it, jr the young man talking right now just cited Christopher Jericho as the original source of the phrase "shut the hell up"

I admire his dedication to citing sources but I'm not sure this is accurate

just got an unsolicited text, and i gotta say if this is a scam

it is the single most targeted scam in the world why yes, i WOULD like to join the loyalty program for my hometown's niche local pastry bakery

my dad mailed me an envelope of dirt with no explanation and i am losing my mind over it this feels like a test and i don't know the answer!